So I've pretty much been stuck in hibernation mode since Tuesday. I actually did drive all the way out to where I usually work Tuesday, was going to see if I could get out of driving to some bum fuck hospital during the WORST traffic jams at 4pm. I fuckin would have been stuck in a literal stop and go for 75 minutes at least. I spoke to my patient's mom, not happy about going there, as actually I HATE going to strange places I've never been where there is tons of traffic AND at a busy ass facility too easy to get lost in. I get panic attacks unless I know exactly where I'm going or plan way ahead, know the address, know exactly where I'm supposed to park, blah blah.
So after I left Irivine, I went to Aimee's instead trying and hoping to get me something to wake me the fuck UP! As I walked into the garage, Aimee and Don were right in the middle of preparing their fix of heroin the way June Cleaver would have once upon a time been preparing lunch or dinner for her family, lol. They looked up, greeted me asked me what was up. Aimee commented I seemed full of angst and stressed out. "I've been off meth since Thursday, I sleep 8-10 hrs a day, yet I'm tired as fuck regardless, FUCK. It's this chronic fuckin fatigue nightmare all over again!," I said.
"Well here, have some of THIS," said Don holding out a handful of multicolored balloons. I groaned in disappointment. "Oh, right," I said with about as much enthusiasm as some Tsihisdic Princess asked about the proposition of sucking her newlywed husband's cock. "She said she needed to wake UP, Don not go to sleep," said Aimee. Thank you Aimee! Don called his connect, no answer, so he told me to drive him to barrioville anyway. "He won't get mad will he?," I asked. "Not at all," assured Don. I drove him the short distance, no connect, no home. "Fuck. How about after work?," I asked. "Sure, no problem," said Don.
I took 2 caffeine pills to help give me a tiny bit of animation, fuck this was rediculous. 3:30pm rolls around, Don decides to call the dude again, this time got lucky. I waited at Aimee's, took a while for Don to get back, but the shit was REAL good. Instead of shooting, I took several hits off a pipe, as I wanted to wake up only, not get spun off my mental capacity, errors I've made in the past. It was hotter than hell, my car was running a tad hot, so I had Don look up this hospital address and found not one but 3 fucking buildings. "You've GOT to be fucking kidding me!," I threw my hands up in exasperation. My choices were to pay Don to drop me off and wait for him to pick me up, which I HATE, or drive in the middle of a traffic's rat maze at the end of a work day, trying to locate where to park, then taking a shuttle to another building to wherever my patient was, sorry, no way, fuck this.
I called and said I wasn't gonna make it, too risky. So, that said and done, I ended up having a great time at Linda and Aimee's hardly touching my shit. Don's connect has WAY better stuff than Linda's, the only thing is I end up paying more for Don's. It was hotter than hell, one nice side effect of dope is that it gives me a much higher tolerance for discomfort, although I ended up showering there. I was STILL sweating like crazy along with everyone else. No fans or A/C in that house, even when they DO have them on, there are too many dope fiends going in and out of everywhere and Pluto to be effective, so I kept splashing cold water and wiping my face and neck down.
Different people come and go at Aimee and Linda's, some of them quite annoying at times. Although it's ok to do dope without fear of anyone walking in and screaming at you, as it would be if my Mom walked in on ME, Aimee and Linda have NO privacy whatsoever to their bedrooms. Linda's room has not one, but TWO doors that don't close all the way and lead to her bedroom so anyone walks in whenever they please. Aimee has the garage, but it's the same deal. Dope fiends, strangers and friends walk in any time unnanounced along with Linda's mom. There is no way in hell I could or would ever tolerate THAT. My whole life is about privacy practically, I've been accostomed to it my entire life.
Therefore, I've grown accostomed to having a needle in my arm and whoever barging in, usually some dope fiend I don't know or a member of the regular gang. There is also the issue of changing clothes, which I do a lot of at Aimee's. Therefore when strange guys walk in without knocking and I'm in the middle of changing in Aimee's room, I don't give it a second thought, and neither does the particular fiend that barges in, although usually they turn away and that's that. There was this one irritating guy named Ralph that gets on everyone's nerves when he's tweeked, but it's Aimee's room and I do what SHE says is or is not ok. Aimee and I have a very unusual relationship in that there is a lot of hugging, cuddling, and physical closeness, shit I don't have with anyone else, other than perhpas a sex partner, Erik who I haven't seen since 2005, or hugs from NA people, but even that's not the same.
Jail was the only other time and place it was socially acceptable to spoon with other women because they kept it so friggin COLD in there and they gave us short sleeve jumpsuits. I've done things with her I would never do with another girlfriend, but there are times when we both need a bit of comfort, but she at least has her boyfriend. So, Ralph was being annoying, and he thought it was very hinky when he saw Aimee lying down, her arm around me with my head on her breast for comfort. That's the second closest thing to physical love I've ever felt next to chemicals. Neither Aimee or I are gay or bisexual, although I'm sure since we are feminine, atrractive women, especially when we're dressed up, if we were, we'd not kick the other out of our bed.
I'm wired for heterosexuality, as is she, but I've always craved some sort of comfort from somewhere, someone. It makes me glad that I'm not a man in that respect because I lean on other women for emotional support, and sometimes Aimee for physical support. Ralph quit being irritating and left. I had a mother of a migraine for over 3 fucking days that would leave for 6 hrs after taking my painkillers, but come right back with a vengence. Then, when I got home Wednesday morning early, Mom was all suspicious and in my face, but I was in too much pain to deal, so I went to lie down for a couple hrs, then took my car to get serviced, waited 3 hrs, walked back in the heat to pick it up. I came home, laid down for 3 hrs, then had to go to the dentist for more damn oral surgery.
I arrived with a mother of a headache, but they got their surgery done in 2 hrs, were very nice. I didn't really have a full day off, my muscles are sore as fuck. I was still smartin from John Doe's comment, and who else can I talk to other than a girlfriend? Certainly NOT a guy. The whole thing with John Doe was I'd made a comment about trimming the rain forest around his pubic and stomach region. I honestly didn't say it in a mean way, but that was what the fuss was all about. I guess his wife doesn't give him oral sex, but for fuck's sake, it looked like a forest had taken up residence or something and I'm not fond of the idea of getting a wad of hair in my mouth, but mainly, I can't understand how someone that was smooth for so long, with age grows this hair, why they wouldn't want to feel their own skin, to SEE their own skin.
I guess he got a little bent. I apologized, what else could I do? I met this guy years ago that flew out from New York and we stayed in a motel for a week. Nice guy, we had a good time, but his back and ass were covered with thick hair and although I didn't say anything, I couldn't stand it. I felt like suggesting weed wacker or something, but it's not like I knew him well enough to do that without getting him offended. So, John Doe thinks I'm mean, but at least we ended our relationship on a civil note. I've had a mother of a time with depression past couple days, but writing helped, Aimee helped, my ex sugar daddy thinks I can work it out, but that's how I deal. Then Erik sent me a text that was soo sweet and unexpected. When I die, whoever finds my body will know that I onced loved a guy named Erik, enough to tattoo his name on my body, because he'll always be close to my heart no matter what happens. Love you baby. Fuck I'm late, I gotta get to work, fuck.
So after I left Irivine, I went to Aimee's instead trying and hoping to get me something to wake me the fuck UP! As I walked into the garage, Aimee and Don were right in the middle of preparing their fix of heroin the way June Cleaver would have once upon a time been preparing lunch or dinner for her family, lol. They looked up, greeted me asked me what was up. Aimee commented I seemed full of angst and stressed out. "I've been off meth since Thursday, I sleep 8-10 hrs a day, yet I'm tired as fuck regardless, FUCK. It's this chronic fuckin fatigue nightmare all over again!," I said.
"Well here, have some of THIS," said Don holding out a handful of multicolored balloons. I groaned in disappointment. "Oh, right," I said with about as much enthusiasm as some Tsihisdic Princess asked about the proposition of sucking her newlywed husband's cock. "She said she needed to wake UP, Don not go to sleep," said Aimee. Thank you Aimee! Don called his connect, no answer, so he told me to drive him to barrioville anyway. "He won't get mad will he?," I asked. "Not at all," assured Don. I drove him the short distance, no connect, no home. "Fuck. How about after work?," I asked. "Sure, no problem," said Don.
I took 2 caffeine pills to help give me a tiny bit of animation, fuck this was rediculous. 3:30pm rolls around, Don decides to call the dude again, this time got lucky. I waited at Aimee's, took a while for Don to get back, but the shit was REAL good. Instead of shooting, I took several hits off a pipe, as I wanted to wake up only, not get spun off my mental capacity, errors I've made in the past. It was hotter than hell, my car was running a tad hot, so I had Don look up this hospital address and found not one but 3 fucking buildings. "You've GOT to be fucking kidding me!," I threw my hands up in exasperation. My choices were to pay Don to drop me off and wait for him to pick me up, which I HATE, or drive in the middle of a traffic's rat maze at the end of a work day, trying to locate where to park, then taking a shuttle to another building to wherever my patient was, sorry, no way, fuck this.
I called and said I wasn't gonna make it, too risky. So, that said and done, I ended up having a great time at Linda and Aimee's hardly touching my shit. Don's connect has WAY better stuff than Linda's, the only thing is I end up paying more for Don's. It was hotter than hell, one nice side effect of dope is that it gives me a much higher tolerance for discomfort, although I ended up showering there. I was STILL sweating like crazy along with everyone else. No fans or A/C in that house, even when they DO have them on, there are too many dope fiends going in and out of everywhere and Pluto to be effective, so I kept splashing cold water and wiping my face and neck down.
Different people come and go at Aimee and Linda's, some of them quite annoying at times. Although it's ok to do dope without fear of anyone walking in and screaming at you, as it would be if my Mom walked in on ME, Aimee and Linda have NO privacy whatsoever to their bedrooms. Linda's room has not one, but TWO doors that don't close all the way and lead to her bedroom so anyone walks in whenever they please. Aimee has the garage, but it's the same deal. Dope fiends, strangers and friends walk in any time unnanounced along with Linda's mom. There is no way in hell I could or would ever tolerate THAT. My whole life is about privacy practically, I've been accostomed to it my entire life.
Therefore, I've grown accostomed to having a needle in my arm and whoever barging in, usually some dope fiend I don't know or a member of the regular gang. There is also the issue of changing clothes, which I do a lot of at Aimee's. Therefore when strange guys walk in without knocking and I'm in the middle of changing in Aimee's room, I don't give it a second thought, and neither does the particular fiend that barges in, although usually they turn away and that's that. There was this one irritating guy named Ralph that gets on everyone's nerves when he's tweeked, but it's Aimee's room and I do what SHE says is or is not ok. Aimee and I have a very unusual relationship in that there is a lot of hugging, cuddling, and physical closeness, shit I don't have with anyone else, other than perhpas a sex partner, Erik who I haven't seen since 2005, or hugs from NA people, but even that's not the same.
Jail was the only other time and place it was socially acceptable to spoon with other women because they kept it so friggin COLD in there and they gave us short sleeve jumpsuits. I've done things with her I would never do with another girlfriend, but there are times when we both need a bit of comfort, but she at least has her boyfriend. So, Ralph was being annoying, and he thought it was very hinky when he saw Aimee lying down, her arm around me with my head on her breast for comfort. That's the second closest thing to physical love I've ever felt next to chemicals. Neither Aimee or I are gay or bisexual, although I'm sure since we are feminine, atrractive women, especially when we're dressed up, if we were, we'd not kick the other out of our bed.
I'm wired for heterosexuality, as is she, but I've always craved some sort of comfort from somewhere, someone. It makes me glad that I'm not a man in that respect because I lean on other women for emotional support, and sometimes Aimee for physical support. Ralph quit being irritating and left. I had a mother of a migraine for over 3 fucking days that would leave for 6 hrs after taking my painkillers, but come right back with a vengence. Then, when I got home Wednesday morning early, Mom was all suspicious and in my face, but I was in too much pain to deal, so I went to lie down for a couple hrs, then took my car to get serviced, waited 3 hrs, walked back in the heat to pick it up. I came home, laid down for 3 hrs, then had to go to the dentist for more damn oral surgery.
I arrived with a mother of a headache, but they got their surgery done in 2 hrs, were very nice. I didn't really have a full day off, my muscles are sore as fuck. I was still smartin from John Doe's comment, and who else can I talk to other than a girlfriend? Certainly NOT a guy. The whole thing with John Doe was I'd made a comment about trimming the rain forest around his pubic and stomach region. I honestly didn't say it in a mean way, but that was what the fuss was all about. I guess his wife doesn't give him oral sex, but for fuck's sake, it looked like a forest had taken up residence or something and I'm not fond of the idea of getting a wad of hair in my mouth, but mainly, I can't understand how someone that was smooth for so long, with age grows this hair, why they wouldn't want to feel their own skin, to SEE their own skin.
I guess he got a little bent. I apologized, what else could I do? I met this guy years ago that flew out from New York and we stayed in a motel for a week. Nice guy, we had a good time, but his back and ass were covered with thick hair and although I didn't say anything, I couldn't stand it. I felt like suggesting weed wacker or something, but it's not like I knew him well enough to do that without getting him offended. So, John Doe thinks I'm mean, but at least we ended our relationship on a civil note. I've had a mother of a time with depression past couple days, but writing helped, Aimee helped, my ex sugar daddy thinks I can work it out, but that's how I deal. Then Erik sent me a text that was soo sweet and unexpected. When I die, whoever finds my body will know that I onced loved a guy named Erik, enough to tattoo his name on my body, because he'll always be close to my heart no matter what happens. Love you baby. Fuck I'm late, I gotta get to work, fuck.