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Am I to blame?

303Thizz

303Thizz

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 13, 2010
Messages
334
Location
A Mile High
My brother left my house with a bag of mushrooms several months ago and got pulled over and arrested by the police. He is now probably going to do 4+ years in prison. I know that he is responsible for his actions and he probably wouldn't have been caught if he had acted just a little smarter, but I still feel responsible myself. He wouldn't have had those mushrooms or wanted to get them if it wasn't for me. I knew he wasn't the smartest person when it comes to these types of things- he already has two prior felony convictions. If I hadn't provided a connection for him, this never would have happened. Is it all his fault, or should I feel culpable in some way?
 
Do not blame yourself....it is the worst possible thing to do in this type of situation. I have had friends get busted with coke while they were on a run to get it for me( I bought, they did the run). Things just happen in this messed up world we live in. The best thing you can do is to send tons of positive vibes your brothers way and let him know how you feel. Guilt can eat at you and sometimes it never lets go.
 
As much as you may think it's your fault, it's not. He pursued the connection you gave him. He purchased them, and therefore possessed them. He got unlucky to be caught with them.

I know this is a serious situation, but let me put it in these terms:

Do you think an alcohol producer/manufacturer feels like they're to blame for a drunk driver killing a family?

People make their own choices. Bad, and good choices.
 
Thanks. That's more or less how I felt about the situation anyhow. It still feels raw though, he is family, and he hasn't had the easiest time in life- my family adopted him when he was 10 years old after his biological parents and various foster families had their turns abusing him. He goes for trial on Tuesday, which we expect him to lose. My parents will be at the courtroom to plead for leniency on his behalf at sentencing. Hopefully it goes better than we expect at this point. I think that if he goes to prison again I may never see him anymore because in his own twisted view of reality I am to blame for his situation and he will see me as the reason for his incarceration.
 
303Thizz said:
Thanks. That's more or less how I felt about the situation anyhow. It still feels raw though, he is family, and he hasn't had the easiest time in life- my family adopted him when he was 10 years old after his biological parents and various foster families had their turns abusing him. He goes for trial on Tuesday, which we expect him to lose. My parents will be at the courtroom to plead for leniency on his behalf at sentencing. Hopefully it goes better than we expect at this point. I think that if he goes to prison again I may never see him anymore because in his own twisted view of reality I am to blame for his situation and he will see me as the reason for his incarceration.
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If he blames you that is just not right.
 
It's not your fault. Your brother is a big boy and capable of making his own decisions, and he should've been more careful than he was.

I'm going to assume that the stiff sentence would have more to do with him probably being on probation for something else already than anything else, right? I can't imagine someone getting four years for a bag of 'shrooms but then again I'm not familiar with every state's laws, especially not regarding hallucinogens. With all of that being said, IF that is the case and he was on probation (or hell, even if he wasn't but already had a record for something else), he should've realized that he was putting himself in danger by using drugs. He should've learned from his last run-in with the police and avoided putting himself in a position where he could get arrested again.

People have free will. If he didn't find something like this through you, I'm willing to bet he would've found something through another person.

Perhaps you should take this with a grain of salt and decide to no longer provide your brother with any connections knowing that he's not very careful regarding his own actions. You can sit around and be mad at--or even blame--yourself by saying he wouldn't have gotten arrested otherwise but come on, you know that's not true. Stupid is as stupid does and he made a stupid choice. If he hadn't done it through you, he would've made a stupid choice someplace else. The best you can hope for is that he learns from this and doesn't end up serving any real time in prison.

I wish your brother the best of luck and I hope he quits being an idiot :P Once again, it's not your fault... We have free will at the end of the day and so on and so on.
 
Tunnelfission said:
4 years? thats incredibly serious... and unnecessary against something so natural to human experience. it's a shame.
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I seriously doubt he might end up in prison for four years because of a bag of mushrooms alone. I'm going to bet that he has a previous record at the very least and was more than likely on probation during the time of his arrest OR that the OP was making a guess on what the sentence might end up being.

OP, when you say four years, are you referring to the maximum sentence available by law or what? It didn't sound like he's been to court and received an actual sentence yet so I'm assuming this is just a guess on your behalf? Also, was he on probation or already have a record?
 
Four years reflects the fact that he is a prior multi-state felon. That is the minimum sentence the DA is asking for. If this had been a first offense or if he had been more cooperative with the prosecution he would most likely be only facing probation. Like I said above, his trial is on Tuesday so I will update again after that.
 
had he sourced them on his own and got pulled, the way I see it, he'd blame you for not giving him the connect, so basically it's a no win situation.
 
yeah man it's not your fault, He wanted the shrooms you didn't shove them down his throat, he decided to drive off with them, he could've ate some and tripped with you and left later. Either way Driving with drugs is a choice that we MAKE it's a risk everytime we do it, I have 36 felonies so if I get caught with so much as a half ounce of weed I'm looking at 15-life for ANY felony, do you think I'M gonna ride around with weed? NOSIR, that was your BROTHERS choice, not yours, and if I did get some shrooms, weed, acid whatever and got caught, it wouldnt be the fault of whoever got it for me it would be MY fault because I KNEW THE CONSEQUENCES when I did it, and that's why I DON'T do it. I know it's hard on u cause it's your brother but don't sweat that it's your fault cause it's NOT.
 
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