Am I the only woman against marriage?

[Libby]

No I didn't.

Edit: Just looked at the posting time, I must've been in the editor adding to my post while you posted yours, I didn't see it till after. And anyway I didn't change what I was saying like you seem to be implying, I just added to it. Look around the board the majority of my posts have edited tags, I'm impatient while still a perfectionist, it is not some cover up or conspiracy. If you think so just look further back up the page to this post (no edit)

I dont think anyone is trying to say their decision to or not to kids/marriage is the "only way to be".
Individual freedom in personal matters is something to be valued.

I really don't like it when people assume that just because I have an opposing opinion to theirs that must mean I want to force my opinion on anyone against their will. All I'm doing is putting forth my opinion (just like you) to enrich the discussion.

 

[rangrz]

Who cares if her grandparents' relationship would have been just as wonderful without marriage? It made them happy.

That is confusing as hell. If it was the case that it would have been just as wonderful without, how can one claim that it made them happy, more generally, how can one claim that which had no effect, um, had an effect? 2 + 0 + 2 = 4. 2 + 2 = 4. It is so totally the zero that makes the answer four.

You don't understand it, because you've never had it.

True, but, that is not a situation unique to Libby. NO ONE has ever had it. Not a single human being has ever loved someone for the duration of time, including that time which lies in the future. A more soft definition fails to work too... no one has ever loved someone until they themselves are dead and been able to understand, as no one is alive to think about it after they died.

 

[Stacianica]

I agree. I'm female and it's always been my stance that I don't want to get married. My boyfriend, or Fake Husband would love to get married. Me, not so much. I think this way for several reasons

1. Never will I marry until there are laws tat make it harder o get married and easier to get divorced...
Except, this isnt logical. It will always be more difficult due to joint property ownership, custody, visitation if applicable and the simple fact that for weddings, theyre happy people, for divorces, at least one person is pretty pissed off.
2. The government neednt be all up in my business. Enough said. Marriage was originally for property rights, dowerie, etc.
3. There's this bullshit idea that's sold to those in the West that we have Soulmates. It's especially crammed into the minds of young girls. Weddings will fix it all an that's why there's never. Chapter after happily ever after. Give e a whole bunch of soulmates, because I'm sure I can learn something from all of them and have them all make me learn something different about myself. Then I get to hit a few different dicks too. There are very few animals other than birds that mate for life. Humans prove time and time again that we are really not one of those species.
4. I don't subscribe to religious doctrines

Having said that, I live in sin and I like it. I have no plans to leave my lovely man, yet I love having the option that if I just wanted to up and leave, I could. And I dig tht he has that freedom too how crappy would it be to have to be forced, at least for a little while trove with someone you can't stand, or to hav them phone it in for you. Yuck.

However, I do think marriage makes you work a little harder a your relationship. But, then again, so does signing a mortgage or lease, having joint finances, etc. I've been in that situation where I've wanted out, nothing was going to stop tat train.

Ow, this is -for me. It's a personal choice. I still go to weddings, express true congratulations fo those celebrating nuptials, I just know that it isn't and hasn't been for me. Maybe that'll change on day, but today, I see thing being swell the way that they are.

 

[Pagey]

I'm not particularly for marriage nor am I particularly against marriage...same goes for kids, although I can't really see myself having any for the moment. I figure when the right person comes along I'll just see how I feel

 

[Australopithecus]

I have two kids boy and girl 6 and 4 and ive been with my GF for 8 years now but are unmarried. Its not because I oppose marriage its because it will at the moment anyway make no difference to our situation.

 

[Stacianica]

Australopithecus, I totally agree. We have been together for almost seven years, we looked into marriage for financial reasons like health insurance and it would cost us an additional $200 per week, plus we'd lose the combined tax refund / lottery winning return of several thousand pet year. That's a loss of about $10,000 per year Just to tie the knot.

 

[Perpetual Indulgence]

We get more of a tax refund married than single and our health insurance is covered by my employer. A nice perk I did not have to negotiate. If we were not married, it would not be extended to him. I do have friends who stay unmarried as child care is cheaper for a single parent than married.

 

[pokepoke420]

Personally I have been with my girl for 5 years now, and things could not be any better really. The idea of marriage kind of makes people feel trapped and shines a light on the shit you aren't able to ever do again. Not having such a feeling of being locked down and having a free soul (while not being free) makes a world of difference. The feeling of being able to leave no strings attatched (other than heartbreak) is ideal for most situations. Divorce is so rough and long and hurts both people in the process. Just my 2 cents

 

[Libby]

We get more of a tax refund married than single and our health insurance is covered by my employer. A nice perk I did not have to negotiate. If we were not married, it would not be extended to him. I do have friends who stay unmarried as child care is cheaper for a single parent than married.

This is interesting to me.

Why should things like these examples depend upon whether married or not? Doesn't seem fair to me. Why is childcare cheaper for a single parent than a married one? Surely costs of caring for a child within a given establishment remain constant between one who's single parented and one who has married parents. Is it like an automatic welfare because they assume single parented kids' households have less money? What if you're married but only one person works, or you both work lower income jobs where a single parent may earn a very high salary, I mean shouldn't it just cost what it costs and if you need help because you're poor you get a loan or welfare or charity or whatever's appropriate in the situation in order to pay the costs? Why would your tax refund entitlement change whether married or not? If you work the same, earn the same and spend the same. This all seems like discrimination and I don't like that the government can control people's decision to get married or not with financial pressures/perks. I think it threatens a persons freedom of choice to get married or not get married based on what they actually agree/disagree with and want to live under. I'm sorry Ma'am/Sir but your life is not yours it belongs to the state. You have been nailed into place here and the Hammer with the un-nailing pick on the head is for authorized personnel only. "Your body belongs to the Fuhrer!" *feels sick*

 

[Tude]

This is interesting to me.

Why should things like these examples depend upon whether married or not? Doesn't seem fair to me. Why is childcare cheaper for a single parent than a married one? Surely costs of caring for a child within a given establishment remain constant between one who's single parented and one who has married parents. Is it like an automatic welfare because they assume single parented kids' households have less money? What if you're married but only one person works, or you both work lower income jobs where a single parent may earn a very high salary, I mean shouldn't it just cost what it costs and if you need help because you're poor you get a loan or welfare or charity or whatever's appropriate in the situation in order to pay the costs? Why would your tax refund entitlement change whether married or not? If you work the same, earn the same and spend the same. This all seems like discrimination and I don't like that the government can control people's decision to get married or not with financial pressures/perks. I think it threatens a persons freedom of choice to get married or not get married based on what they actually agree/disagree with and want to live under. I'm sorry Ma'am/Sir but your life is not yours it belongs to the state. You have been nailed into place here and the Hammer with the un-nailing pick on the head is for authorized personnel only. "Your body belongs to the Fuhrer!" *feels sick*

I totally agree! It's bullshit.

 

[P A]

This all seems like discrimination and I don't like that the government can control people's decision to get married or not with financial pressures/perks.

+1. The persistent intrusion of $$$ and private/governmental interest into the most private of social institutions removes any humanly meaningful kind of agency or choice from the matter, and monetizes our interactions into one colossally cynical debauch. I don't consider myself a libertarian thinker, but I really do wish that Nanny Government would leave us the fuck alone when it comes to such deeply personal matters as marriage.

 

[Edvard Munch]

Usually women who don't want to get married have absent fathers, and invite instability in relationships due to the nature of having things "Spiced up." Many of these women are called a very specific five-lettered word.


There's nothing wrong with not wanting to get married, so I guess I must ask of why you seek other women who feel the same as you? Have you found a lack of women of your kind personally? Do people call you naughty words?

Are you currently behind on your rent?

 

[Lysis]

lol oh edvard, you are funny sometimes.

 

[Tude]

Usually women who don't want to get married have absent fathers, and invite instability in relationships due to the nature of having things "Spiced up." Many of these women are called a very specific five-lettered word.


There's nothing wrong with not wanting to get married, so I guess I must ask of why you seek other women who feel the same as you? Have you found a lack of women of your kind personally? Do people call you naughty words?

Are you currently behind on your rent?

No, I don't have an absent father. I don't see how remaining unmarried is inherently unstable. What word would that be? I seek out like-minded women merely out of curiosity. I don't need to be told there's nothing wrong with my opinion, I already know that. At least where I'm at, yes, I've found a lack of women who think like me. People don't call me naughty words, not that it'd make a difference. No, I'm not behind on my rent. Wtf?

 

[sconnie420]

Nope, you're sure not alone.. I mean I'm not against it by any means, but I know my man of 7 + years has no plans on proposing anytime soon. I'm a ok w/ this, bc we fight like cats and dogs. I wouldn't want to marry unless we can get along for more than a week.lol.

 

[rangrz]

No, I don't have an absent father. I don't see how remaining unmarried is inherently unstable. What word would that be? I seek out like-minded women merely out of curiosity. I don't need to be told there's nothing wrong with my opinion, I already know that. At least where I'm at, yes, I've found a lack of women who think like me. People don't call me naughty words, not that it'd make a difference. No, I'm not behind on my rent. Wtf?

With all due respect tude; You took that flamebait hook, line, and sinker.

I recommend you attend some classes on trollin at 4chan Universities Faculty of /b/.

 

[littlepenguin]

I'm a woman who is adamantly against getting married. I can't possibly be the only one, can I?

to start, you can't be the only one *anything*. There is no such thing as an original thought, really, or simply being the only one of SEVEN BILLION people who feel one way about something.

I'm just trying to gauge my fellow woman's opinion on this, since all the women I know seem to want marriage, with the kids to go with it. By the way, I 100% don't want those either, but I think that's a topic for another post. So, what do you all think?

ah ok, well I am not really against it per say, however I am against the media and what it tells us that we should and shouldn't do to be a 'productive member of society' and 'follow the american dream' and all that crap happy bullshit.
hey if you wanna run out and get married, go right ahead, it doesn't effect me at the end of the day that i am aware of.
do i think i will get married one day? meh, i dunno. doesn't matter to me either way. if i find a human that i fall madly balls deep in love with and he's all on one knee with a shiny new opal or a sucker ring (remember those? fuckin love those things) i doubt i'll say no. i guess what i'm trying to say is that i feel like the media puts a timeline on shit, like "you should be married by 25, buy a house, a white picket fence, pretend you're happy, rack up 200,000 doll hairs in credit card debt and then start squeezing out a few puppies and god damnit throw a smile on your face while you're doing it"
bahahhaahha to that i say, fuckery. i'll do what i want, when i am comfortable with it. maybe i'll get married at 52. who knows. but whatever way i do it, is the right way. for me. and thats all that matters.

i don't partake in monogomy, i think it's silly and awkward to force a human being, who was born to breed and spread their seed, to be with one person for the rest of their lives. it's laughable to me, really. all this crap about cheating and 'o snap you looked at her ass, didnt you? omfggg shes skinner than me i bet you want to fuck her dont you!' well, yeah. he probably do wanna fuck her. cuz saying he didn't would be a damn lie. it is in your instinctual wants and needs to hump hump hump and procreate. so i say, hump away my friend. hump on.


and thats all i have to say about that.

 

[littlepenguin]

Hell no. Most relationships last no longer than 5 years.

from which um...science journal or uh....census did you pull that from? lol...

Not to mention having to ba in a relationship with someone over 45, when you both find each other unattractive.

erm, who pissed in your cheerios??
45?!??!?!?!?!? does my face just suddenly fall off and i crawl out from under a rock and become an ogre that resembles a mix of shrek and jabba the hut? I dated a man from [his] ages 44-46 and he was one sexxxxxxxxxxy mo fo, boy i tell you wut.......::::daydreams:::
anyhoo, if you truly love someone, they get more attractive every damn day. on my grandparents 60th anniversary, my grandpa bought literally a truck of red roses, probably like sixty dozen...he had her stand in front of them, and in front of the hundreds of people who were there, he marched his little ass over with the microphone and said 'wow thats a shitload of roses eh? and the only beautiful thing i see here is you, and you get prettier every day and i love ya.' damn gets me all teary eyed n shit...
and no, that ain't hogwash, it aint a show - that's how that man felt about her. when she died, he wasn't even ill, he simply could not live without her, and promptly died in his sleep a few weeks later. now, if that's marriage and love, give it to me. cheers to those that get a taste of this or anything like it.

why are you hating? what did they do to you? go sit in the corner and be miserable and alone, or happy as fuck and alone, or marry a goat or a turtle or whatever you wanna do, but don't hate on other people for bein happy.

Having kids only increases the suffering of this, though I wouldn't mind kids in themselves.

suffering and your child don't belong in the same sentence. i don't even have to bother asking if you've had a child, because i can tell you haven't. go back and read this when you hold your first born in your arms. you'll shake your head in shame and disbelief.

I think most women's (and even men's) views on this are fare too rose-coloured. They seem to fully expect the relationship with turn out like the initial coutriing phase - when in reality you will most likely become more like brothers and sisters that share responsibilities for home and family.

you from down south? like one of them carolinas or somethin where they still marrying their siblings? cuz, ew. just ew.

Anyway, this little illusion is necessary or no new children will be borned and raised.

hmmm...when did the single mother cease to exist? did she just go le poof in the last ten minutes and i missed it?
doesn't matter if there is marriage or not, people are still gonna fuck, womens are still gonna squeeze dem behbes out. it's HUMAN NATURE.

 

[Tude]

With all due respect tude; You took that flamebait hook, line, and sinker.

I recommend you attend some classes on trollin at 4chan Universities Faculty of /b/.

I have so much to learn *shakes head*

 

[Libby]

Well you found another women not into the marriage right here like you were lookin for,
Tude - one, troll - zero
Lets be friend

For the sake of the troll.
My father wasn't absent, infact my parents are still happily married and they must be like mid-late 60s now, got married at 16/17 yrs old so thats a many years of marrriage. I never once heard them argue in my entire life (they must have in secret surely), they were quite the united front against us (me, bro, sis). Although father mostly sat quitely doing work he'd brung home from the office or reading a john grisham book, looking up only to say "yes dear" and beat the children when mother asked it of him (damnn near always). I *AM* a women befitting that 5-letter word, and I'm always in 'advance' on my rent
Go... frued me!