Am I Schizophrenic?

[SpunkySkunk347]

Let me start off by saying my name is Mike. I am 17 years old. My grandfather is a schizophrenic, he became psychotic while he was in Vietnam.

Last October I was in a mental ward. I was diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Panic Disorder, and Anxiety Disorder. I also had a higher than average test rating for schizophrenic, tho not high enough to cosnider me for schizophrenia (although I was it was a possibility I might develop schizophrenia in the future).

I left the mental ward with a prescription to 150mg Effexor XR and a script to Abilify (a mood stabilizer). I continued to take the effexor, however I never took the abilify.

My first self-noted symptoms of psychosis began shortly after leaving the mental ward. I felt very manic, I felt like I was destined to either become the Son of God or the Anti-Christ. I tested my willpower by self-mutilation and by fasting for 10 days at a time. I did many drugs during this time.

This whole psychotic (or maybe manic) feeling began to fade during the new year, as I took myself off of the prescription effexor.
However I still experienced somewhat psychotic experiences while off of effexor.

In the time I was off effexor, I still had some psychotic experiences. I subconciously told myself that if I was indeed the anti-christ, I would undergo a revelation at the years half-mark (June 30th, July 1st). I also told myself that the first half of the year would be full of failure and disappointment, however the second half of the year would be full of power and achievment.

I feel that I have condemned myself. And now the half-year mark is tomorrow and the day after. I hope it will go on without a hitch, and that I can live my life normally. However a part of me is telling me that something significant will happen tomorrow.

In April I had my doctor put me on paroxetine. Then a month later, I went back on effexor. It is now June, and I feel it is safe to say that I feel psychotic again.

I just want to feel like myself again. If I am off effexor, I am EXTREMELY shy and depressed. If I am on effexor, I become manic and psychotic.

The symptoms I am displaying of schizophrenia (and perhaps bipolar disorder) as well as several psychotic experiences I have had are listed below.

- I sometimes have a strong feeling (or even a belief) that I am a divine figure (perhaps the antichrist or the son of god). Although I know in my head that this is not true.

-I go through extreme states of panic where everything seems haywire and non-real.

- I have a feeling of self-superiority and grandiosity. I feel as if I have a much higher intelligence than those around me (although I am tested to have higher than normal IQ, I am most certainly NOT of higher intelligence of EVERYONE around me.)

-At times I have a feeling of catatonia, as if I can not move and feel very petrified with fear.

-Sometimes if I have stayed up too late, I begin to have auditory hallucinations. However these aural hallucinations do not happen during the day time if I am sober.

-At times I feel very anti-social. I isolate myself in my room from the rest of the world.

-I completely failed school last year due to a complete lack of motivation.

So now, I ask you to please give me helpful advice. Do you think it is an apropriate course of action to tell a medical professional about me theory of schizophrenia? I have an extreme fear of being locked into a mental ward again for months.

Any responses are appreciated.

 

[fizzle]

The only way to know for sure is to get tested again or talk to someone. As for being locked up again, if its caught early I'm sure they could put you on something that will allow you to maintain a normal life. You shouldnt wait though, if left untreated it could only get worse.

Good luck! I hope everything works out.

 

[psyly]

The symptoms you describe are consistent with schizophrenia.
Ultimately a psychiatrist makes the determination of schizophrenia on the basis of a lot more data than what we have in your post. Are you still on the Abilify(aripiprazole)? Abilify has mood stabilizing charateristics but is primarily an antipsychotic. Abilify can make some people psychotic.

Aripirazole is a novel antipsychotic that functions as a partial agonist at the dopamine D2 receptor and, thus, might theoretically worsen psychosis. We report a series of four clinical cases of exacerbation of psychosis related to initiation of aripiprazole therapy. Cases 1 and 2 demonstrated the worsening of psychosis following initiation of aripiprazole (15-30 mg daily) while tapering off the previous atypical antipsychotic. Cases 3 and 4 demonstrated worsening of psychosis following the addition of aripiprazole (15-30 mg daily) to an atypical antipsychotic. In two out of the four cases, discontinuation of arpiprazole resulted in improvement of psychotic symptoms. Although the cases presented are suggestive of a relationship between initiation of aripiprazole therapy and worsening of psychosis, further research is needed to clarify any potential association.

 

[SpunkySkunk347]

The symptoms you describe are consistent with schizophrenia.
Ultimately a psychiatrist makes the determination of schizophrenia on the basis of a lot more data than what we have in your post. Are you still on the Abilify(aripiprazole)? Abilify has mood stabilizing charateristics but is primarily an antipsychotic. Abilify can make some people psychotic.

I was prescribed abilify, but never took it.

 

[psyly]

It might not be schizophrenia(usually life long) but a single episode like shizophreniform. It could be that you're bipolar but get more psychotic than your average bipolar around times of mood fluctuations.Could be depression with psychotic features. It could be caused by a yet unknown physical problem.

I'd encourage you to be honest with your Docs. You maybe hospitalized. The reason to be honest with your Docs is so that your treatment can be tailored to what is going on with you now. Also many people have had strange , agitated reactions to paroxetine.

Its not the end of the world if you are schizophrenic. Its probably the best time so far in history to be schizophrenic. There are many treatment options in the pipeline that look very good.

 

[SpunkySkunk347]

It might not be schizophrenia(usually life long) but a single episode like shizophreniform. It could be that you're bipolar but get more psychotic than your average bipolar around times of mood fluctuations.Could be depression with psychotic features. It could be caused by a yet unknown physical problem.

I'd encourage you to be honest with your Docs. You maybe hospitalized. The reason to be honest with your Docs is so that your treatment can be tailored to what is going on with you now. Also many people have had strange , agitated reactions to paroxetine.

Its not the end of the world if you are schizophrenic. Its probably the best time so far in history to be schizophrenic. There are many treatment options in the pipeline that look very good.

I would love to submit myself for proper medical attention.
However, the medical system up here in Northern Minnesota is vastly corrupt. This is not my own conclusion, but a well known fact among many of the locals here.

 

[psyly]

However, the medical system up here in Northern Minnesota is vastly corrupt.

How so?

Are any alternatives available?

 

[SpunkySkunk347]

How so?

Are any alternatives available?

When I was in the mental ward many of the doctors exploited their authority. They broke laws and hospital policies on multiple occasions. For example, I requested medical attention for the pain I was experiencing in my right leg (which I had broken 4 months prior) and none was given to me. Employees actually laughed at my legal threats.

The doctors did not even know enough about the medicines they were prescribing to even be in the position of prescribing them. I asked a doctor for the technical mechanism of action of paroxetine, and the doctor's explanation was laughably off.

They charged me ridiculous amounts of money for practically no real treatment. The only thing I came out of there with was an absolute disgust for the facility and a prescription for effexor and abilify.

(PS, I went into the facility with the best intentions and hope for a treatment, I also had no real bias towards the facility before entering.)

The alternative would be to go to Minneapolis and check myself into a facility there (a risky move, because minneapolis is a much larger city than Duluth). Or go to a different state.

If anyone has any reccomendations for the Midwestern area, I would gladly look into them.

 

[psyly]

Sorry you've encountered such bad treatment. I wouldn't recommend any facilities here in Omaha, at least in part because I haven't had a hospitalization in almost a decade. I don't know what they are like now. I wouldn't threaten legal action while one is a patient. I'd take notes and contact professional regulatory bodies post hospitalization. It could be that your problems could be dealt with on an outpatient basis. I don't know that though.

You might read up on orthomolecular psychiatry. It probably won't be easy to find an orthomolecular practitioner, if it even suits your needs. It sucks to be sick and not have trustworthy health care providers available.

 

[Mehm]

psyly made a very good assessment of the possible diagnoses beyond schizophrenia. I don't know what to tell you beyond that man, but pharmaceuticals are becoming ever more powerful, for both good and evil as you know. A really good psychiatrist would be best to see, and I absolutely think you should see one. If you have insurance and/or supportive parents right now, you should get in the system before you turn 18 (I would think).

Also, meditation, yoga, massage, and healthy living make everything better.

namaste

 

[SpunkySkunk347]

I don't have anywhere to turn anymore. I don't feel emotions anymore.
I'm not coming back to this site again, I'm going to move on.

 

[socko]

Spunky, what's going on with you now? Your 07:18 post looks kind of ominous.
Do you have family in Duluth who are willing to help you through this? From what you said, Minneapolis might be a better option. I know several people from Duluth and they mention general corruption (but not necessarily related to Duluth hospitials).
Maybe parents who will drive you to Minneapolis and get you checked out there?
Yeah, Minneapolis is a lot bigger than Duluth. Get a map and you will learn your way around within a few days. It won't be so bad. Hang in there Spunky.
ONe more thing to add: On auditory hallucinations late at night-- I get that too sometimes. I think it has more to do with exhaustion than mental illness. But if it's during the day while sober and fully awake, I'd worry.

 

[Razzah]

I'm pretty fucking manic/depressive. I really resonate with "At times I feel very anti-social. I isolate myself in my room from the rest of the world". Been there for sure.

When I'm manic I'm the life of the party, radiating powerful energy, sucking everyone into my reality, having the time of my life. Girls, parties, good emotions.

When I'm depressive I can't talk to anyone. I isolate myself. Shit goes downhill. I'd go weeks on end without communicating.

I just want to let you know that I feel you. Theres been times in my life where I've thought I was mentally FUCKED. That nobody else was like me.

Do what you want and start pleasing yourself. Give yourself approval and know you're alright. We're all the same bro.

PS- Get off weed and any drugs. You gotta get high on life before bringing those things back in.

 

[tobala]

Spunky, please see a psychiatrist ASAP. If you get a good one and are willing to do your part, a collaboration between you and your doctor might arrive at the proper pharmaceutical regimen that will control your symptoms without nasty side effects. It almost never happens the first try, so don't give up!

Also, about the bad things you experienced in the mental ward: it's not like that everywhere--there is good mental health care out there.

If you have no funds, you might qualify for Medicaid, so look into that.

 

[heylushx3]

hi.
i want to be a psychology major and schizophrenia is the one thing that made me want to do that field. i've read tons of books about it bc i think it is the most interesting psychological disorder... my favorite book is "i never promised you a rose garden" which details the life of a schizophrenic girl.

what you're saying is definitely characteristics of it... but the thing is that with schizophrenia, you are NEVER in touch with reality. you may have a day where you see reality, but for the most part it is all something unreal. that is why most schizophrenic people prefer to stay in a mental institution.
you should definitely see a psychologist or something, and don't let them just dope you up. the mind is something so crazy and you should see someone so that you can figure out all the chaos that is going on. schizophrenia can progressively worsen and you want to keep yourself safe.

i also believe in mind over matter... you seem very stable in the fact that you understand you have a problem and that you are not feeling normal. (if there really IS a normal...) and that is something that shows you are still connected to reality.

i hope everything has worked out for you bc these posts are kind of old. but i figured i'd give insight into the one thing i am most interested about.

 

[Jabberwocky]

i've read tons of books about it bc i think it is the most interesting psychological disorder... my favorite book is "i never promised you a rose garden" which details the life of a schizophrenic girl.

I Never Promised You a Rose Garden is about a case of putative schizophrenia that is so very untypical that I hope it isn't your primary model Heylushx3 Positive symptoms occurring in a nine year old and recovery from psychosis mostly through psychotherapy are very rare and probably involve some other disorder. I think an apt description of this "true" story is a novelization.

From Wikipedia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Never_Promised_You_a_Rose_Garden_(novel)

In both real life and in the novel, Greenberg was diagnosed with schizophrenia; however, this word was used at the time to describe any thought disorder. In fact, undifferentiated schizophrenia was a trashcan diagnosis which could cover anything from anxiety or depression to simple homesickness. A 1981 article in the New York Times cites two psychiatrists who examined Greenberg's self-description in the book and concluded that she was not schizophrenic, but suffered from extreme depression and somatization disorder. [1] In a recent interview on public radio, Greenberg states that subsequent to the brain surgery, her vision literally went "grey and flat", and stayed that way for many years. She still reports difficulty with depression, but says she can alleviate it with activity.

 

[bravo-6]

Stop using all illegal drugs and use your prescription medication as prescribed for starter.
All illegal drug screw with your brain by releasing chemicals which alter your mood and perceptions in some way, the medication you are on also work by trying to regulate and balance out the chemicals in your brain. So if you want to get better let the medication work like it is suppose to without any outside influence. Besides the fact that your condion is caused by a chemical imbalance you are only going to make yourself worst by using drugs.

 

[Coolio]

How do you know his condition is caused by a chemical imbalance?

Seeing as the success rate for curing schizophrenia approaches ZERO, I don't think medical professionals have any idea what they're doing when they prescribe drugs to treat the symptoms. Yes, antipsychotic medications make schizophrenic patients more manageable, but that's because antipsychotic medications shut your brain down and turn you into a zombie. They make everyone more manageable.

 

[Coolio]

I personally recommend laying off all of the drugs, illegal and prescription, and get help from a friend or family member (or a group of them) on a well thought out plan of balanced nutrition and exercise. Not only can poor diet and lack of exercise be the cause of just about any 'chemical imbalance' or 'mood disorder' or 'psychiatric disorder', but involving loved ones in setting positive goals, working on achieving them, and evaluating the results can work wonders more than any drug.

 

[beamers]

Seeing as the success rate for curing schizophrenia approaches ZERO

Sure curing is a problem, but they can alleviate the positive and negative symptoms of schizophrenia.

I had a psychotic episode and was on abilify for 12 months, it helped me no end and I no longer need medication. I recommend abilify to anyone in this situation.

How do you know his condition is caused by a chemical imbalance?

Because dopamine partial agonists alleviate symptoms of schizophrenia. So we know that schizophrenia is an excess of dopamine in the synapses.

To the OP:

Please go and see a doctor and mention that you'd heard of abilify and ask if it is right for you. Anti-psychotics aren't all bad and can level your moods and behaviour out. You can still have play an active part in society and don't need to be shut out in an institution.