memphis10
Bluelighter
i have gone through some women in the past few months.
got out of a long year and a half terrible relationship, moved cities, etc, GOT CLEAN
anyways, first chick i was with here, it didnt work out, didnt end well
since then i have been very uneasy about being in a relationship because i guess im jaded somewhat
the first girl i started seeing after the last one quit seeing me after just a couple of weeks because she wanted a relationship and i just flat out told her no several times. whatever. didnt really like her anyways
for the past 6-8 weeks or so ive been talking to this really cool girl. she lives about 35 mins away in a small country town, lives with her gf. we are a lot a like and have so much fun together (great sex, both love the ganja and drinkin, seriously when we get together once a week or whenever its ON)
shes starting to get impatient because nothing is official. we dont have any promises to each other besides not sleeping w/ other people (which i fucked up very early into...and regret...but ive been good since). we text each other during the day, i come and stay with her when i can (busy at work)
the thing is, she has no job. no car. no money really. lives with her gf basically sleeps on her couch. she was in a relationship for 3 years and just got out of it a few months ago (kinda like me) and hasn't really got back on her feet yet (she never asks me for $$ or anything so its not like that)
she tells me how she feels about me and wishes we could be together more and blah blah blah. i like this chick but i just feel like shes not on my level. i work, pay all of my bills, i take care of business. she doesnt. i do okay but i cant take care of herself AND me.
i like her alot. but i think its getting to the point where it looks like im just using her to get laid. if i dont have any aspirations to marry her or take her away and shack her up with me then if a relationship is what she wants she needs to be looking elsewhere. shes basically now just a girl i text during the day and see 1-2x a week, party with, fuck, whatever. we never have any deep convos or anything like that.
basically my question is: should i just stop seeing her so she doesn't get hurt. if she doesnt step her game up and start trying to move her life forward i just cant respect that and be with her. i honestly like her a lot, we have a lot in common, shes super fine, shes sweet, she really likes me, i dont think id have to worry about her being faithful or whatever. see, if i didnt have feelings for her i wouldnt give a shit about all of this id just keep fucking her....but i like her and dont wanna let go at the same time.
any advice BL. i've never been in a situation w/ a female like this. maybe there is something i could say to make her feel better. i dont want her to get hurt or feel used, because thats not my intentions - we just are on 2 diff life paths at the moment...our goals may be the same, but shes stagnant i am moving forward. it seems petty that no job no car is the major red flag for me, and i have been there myself and i know that it doesnt DEFINE someone lol, but like i said ive been there and i know how to make the situation better because i DID IT. on MY OWN.
got out of a long year and a half terrible relationship, moved cities, etc, GOT CLEAN

anyways, first chick i was with here, it didnt work out, didnt end well
since then i have been very uneasy about being in a relationship because i guess im jaded somewhat
the first girl i started seeing after the last one quit seeing me after just a couple of weeks because she wanted a relationship and i just flat out told her no several times. whatever. didnt really like her anyways
for the past 6-8 weeks or so ive been talking to this really cool girl. she lives about 35 mins away in a small country town, lives with her gf. we are a lot a like and have so much fun together (great sex, both love the ganja and drinkin, seriously when we get together once a week or whenever its ON)
shes starting to get impatient because nothing is official. we dont have any promises to each other besides not sleeping w/ other people (which i fucked up very early into...and regret...but ive been good since). we text each other during the day, i come and stay with her when i can (busy at work)
the thing is, she has no job. no car. no money really. lives with her gf basically sleeps on her couch. she was in a relationship for 3 years and just got out of it a few months ago (kinda like me) and hasn't really got back on her feet yet (she never asks me for $$ or anything so its not like that)
she tells me how she feels about me and wishes we could be together more and blah blah blah. i like this chick but i just feel like shes not on my level. i work, pay all of my bills, i take care of business. she doesnt. i do okay but i cant take care of herself AND me.
i like her alot. but i think its getting to the point where it looks like im just using her to get laid. if i dont have any aspirations to marry her or take her away and shack her up with me then if a relationship is what she wants she needs to be looking elsewhere. shes basically now just a girl i text during the day and see 1-2x a week, party with, fuck, whatever. we never have any deep convos or anything like that.
basically my question is: should i just stop seeing her so she doesn't get hurt. if she doesnt step her game up and start trying to move her life forward i just cant respect that and be with her. i honestly like her a lot, we have a lot in common, shes super fine, shes sweet, she really likes me, i dont think id have to worry about her being faithful or whatever. see, if i didnt have feelings for her i wouldnt give a shit about all of this id just keep fucking her....but i like her and dont wanna let go at the same time.
any advice BL. i've never been in a situation w/ a female like this. maybe there is something i could say to make her feel better. i dont want her to get hurt or feel used, because thats not my intentions - we just are on 2 diff life paths at the moment...our goals may be the same, but shes stagnant i am moving forward. it seems petty that no job no car is the major red flag for me, and i have been there myself and i know that it doesnt DEFINE someone lol, but like i said ive been there and i know how to make the situation better because i DID IT. on MY OWN.