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Stimulants Am I in control, or is meth in control?

missmegandelaney

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 22, 2012
Messages
426
Location
Cali bby!
I've been to rehab, for future referance. My using before rehab was awful, out of control, and just bad.

I've been using lately. I'd say I smoke shit 3 times a week if that. I'm very careful with how much I use. I usually only use one night now, and try to sleep and drink water when I return home. I won't spend more then *no prices* on shit at a time now.

But meth is cunning.

I've noticed that lately I haven't been going out or hanging out unless I smoke meth.
I'll simply stay in because I feel that meth allowes me to be more social, and that people like me better while on it. Maybe I need to to be social, I don't know.

I don't know if this time around i'm doing alot better at controling myself, or if i'm falling back into addiction.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
I'm pretty sure that you know the answer to your question.
But to clarify, I think you are playing with fire.
 
In my experience... if you were out of control before.. chance are that you're not going to one day just wake up and be able to use with total impunity and be in control. If you're an addict..you're an addict, it's a part of you. You cant just turn it on and off. I wish you could..but all the evidence points that you cant.
 
I want to believe that i'm in control.
I don't want to be out of control.
I don't think about it much, cause that question scares me.
 
I think maybe your at a turning point. Maybe your looking for an answer to give you a false sence of security. You are drawing lines and that is good. But it really easy for you mind to trick you and tell you things like,"what's $20 going to do? I will just spend less next time." or "Man, I really had a hard day and my, insert person or problem here, is really bothering me. I need an escape." it's really easy to give in and just go for it.

I have childhood friends who are methed out and will never be any different. It's so sad to me because I just want my friend back. I will never have it.

I would say yes you are going back down that same road. If you have to question it yourself then you probably know deep down you should back off.

I wish you luck and peace. I hope you can find the balance in your life you are looking for.
 
As others have said, once you know you're easily addicted to something, it becomes a case where a leopard doesn't change its spots. I've seen the same thing happen to a close friend with an Adderall (Dextroamphetamine and Amphetamine) addiction. They got very bad and eventually had to go to rehab.

When they got out, they thought things could be different and they could use just a little bit for their ADHD. That was fine for a while, but then the cycle of addiction kicks in again, doses slowly increase, and I'm afraid they're on their way to full blown addiction again. :(

I think it will really do you a world of good if you just come to terms with the fact it's just something you're never going to be able to control. It needs to be all or nothing, and please for your sake choose nothing.

All the best, good luck, and keep us informed.
 
As a very wise, and very uncredited man once said... "if you have to ask...."

Sorry bud.
 
my best advice is to try smoking fucktons of weed all day instead of smoking meth, that always makes me forget about cravings. that's actually one of it's best medical uses IME. but then again, i only use meth once or twice a month, whereas you seem to be a more frequent user.
 
if your questioning it your probably not in control. that dosnt totally mean meth is but.. yeah..
 
If you ask me, the simple fact that you are asking this question means you are most likely falling back into addiction. If you have been to rehab then i would advice you against using at all.
 
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