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Am I being an idiot?

citizen cained

citizen cained

Bluelighter
Joined
Sep 25, 2010
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507
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Wherever I wake up in the morning, so my house mos
Ok so I have a gf and everything is ok but she said that I can be stupid sometimes and I can sometimes understand why, basically I want an opinion on the following situations whether I am being stupid or she is being a bit too harsh:

She asked me to remind her to preheat the oven at 7pm (that is all, no further info given), I set my alarm on my phone as a reminder for 7pm as I have a terrible memory. Before the alarm goes off she messages me saying I forgot to remind her. I was thinking, hang on its only 6:30, she says she is 1 hour ahead (which she is and I forgot about it).

I said "if I was you I will...." she corrected my grammar to would and said I can be a bit stupid sometimes.

There are other similar situations but these 2 are the only ones I could think of, I just want a second opinion if it is my fault or if she is being too harsh.

btw, you can criticise me as much as you want, I don't mind.
 
Personally I think she is being to harsh we all make mistakes I have a terrible memory (thanks to to old habits) my wife never treats me like this though you need to talk to her and tell her how it is making you feel and that you would like her to stop as she is being overly harsh. hope it goes well dude
 
It doesn't sound like she really respects you from what you've typed. IDK, I wouldn't let a girl talk to me like that. I think respect is crucial in a relationship and it's hard to get back once it's gone.
 
just so i'm understanding this correctly - you live in different time zones and she asked you to remind her to heat her oven? and she has the gall to call you stupid?

constructive and respectful criticism is one thing, but no one should ever insult or belittle the person they love by calling them 'stupid' or 'idiot'.
 
Sometimes little things add up. Do you think maybe should could be pissed about something else and maybe went off?

From what you say, yeah, she is being a little too bitchy. Is she always like that? Or is there something else maybe pissing her off like just Aunt Flo (OK, I know girls hate that but just checking) or she's having a bad day at work or something?
 
Her oven, her responsibility, especially in a different time zone!

She could politely ask you to remind her, but it's not okay to attack you for such a simple mistake.

Correcting you like that and calling you "stupid" is humiliating.

Your last sentence seems to indicate that you're used to being criticized a lot, and put down..? If so, I'd try and make some changes in your relationship, it's not healthy if this sort of thing is going on consistently.
 
Well she works long shifts and gets cranky when tired (she also only sleeps about 6-7 hours a night on a work day) I forgot to mention that she doesn't have a go at me about it, she would just say something like "isn't there something your supposed to tell me about?" i would say "oh shit, sorry" and then she would just change the subject, rarely makes a big deal about it but often says "you can be a bit silly at times" or say "you didn't try to remember" then go on to a different subject.

Now i refuse to remind her about stuff saying things like "write a note to yourself, Im just gonna forget"

btw can anyone tell me what things to look out for in a relationship as a sign she respects me?
 
citizen cained said:
Well she works long shifts and gets cranky when tired (she also only sleeps about 6-7 hours a night on a work day) I forgot to mention that she doesn't have a go at me about it, she would just say something like "isn't there something your supposed to tell me about?" i would say "oh shit, sorry" and then she would just change the subject, rarely makes a big deal about it but often says "you can be a bit silly at times" or say "you didn't try to remember" then go on to a different subject.

Now i refuse to remind her about stuff saying things like "write a note to yourself, Im just gonna forget"

btw can anyone tell me what things to look out for in a relationship as a sign she respects me?
Click to expand...

why are you her memory? is she incapable of reminding herself?

bizzarre
 
Have you had a serious talk with her about it?

Does this regularly happen?

Is there anything crazy going on in her life right now? I know that, when I get stressed, I can be crankier. My bf is like that too. During exam week - I had to be sooo patient with him, not take things personally, he just was not the same. Also, I find that when it's my time of month, I get crankier too. Maybe something like that is going on? But seriously, talk to her about it :)
 
citizen cained said:
She asked me to remind her to preheat the oven at 7pm (that is all, no further info given), I set my alarm on my phone as a reminder for 7pm as I have a terrible memory. Before the alarm goes off she messages me saying I forgot to remind her. I was thinking, hang on its only 6:30, she says she is 1 hour ahead (which she is and I forgot about it).

I said "if I was you I will...." she corrected my grammar to would and said I can be a bit stupid sometimes.
......................

btw, you can criticise me as much as you want, I don't mind.
Click to expand...

You do mind...but it sounds like you also love it(in a masochistic way), or you'd do something about it.

You're a doormat. Pick yourself off the ground, put your woman in her place & tell her how you FEEL when she acts the way she acts.

You're evidently not wearing the trousers in this relationship, so she is correcting your grammar. etc blah blah.

Next time you see her, tell her "I feel like...stupid...makes me feel...blah blah etc".

If she was one hour ahead (wtf?!!?long distance??) you need to tell her to remind you of that & that it can't be your responsibility and she needs to take responsibility for her own life, and not blame you for stuff- seriously TAKE CHARGE.

It also sounds like she's testing your reliability, so instead of moaning - step up to the plate, and be reliable.

(If this is a long distance thing & this kinda shit is all you can tell us about the relationship - it's not worth it - sack it.)
 
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