Am I being an asshole about this?

[Perpetual Indulgence]

Back to good

Point well taken littlepenguin.

 

[kaywholed]

why be angry at others for enjoying their plans, because you failed to take care of your identification papers in a responsible manner?

as an adult you need to be on top of that.

be grateful your boyfriend waited outside with you, rather than giving you the keys so you could sit in the car and listen to music on your own.

 

[littlepenguin]

Please do excuse my restaurant rantings, I get a little defensive sometimes about that kind of stuff...

OVERALL - in a final word - if that was my brother, he would have turned around and left with me, even if we were 7000 miles away from home and it was one of our birthdays/wedding days/(insert important day here), and I would have done the same, without a question or thought in my mind. If this is a pattern of your sisters, perhaps it's time to call that shit out, or get away from her. That definitely would have hurt my feelings.

 

[34-dihydroxyphen]

It's almost offensive how little respect people in general seem to have for restaurant industry jobs. People have NO FUCKING CLUE the ramifications of how you, the customer's actions, end up on us (industry folk.) There are things called DRAM SHOP laws. These laws suck. They are put in enforcement to basically defend drunks. Although I know this is not totally true, sometimes it is, and it's crap, but unfortunately, we (restaurant industry) have to abide by these laws or else we face serious consequences. Here's a few lovely examples:

A few years ago, I was bartending. A woman came in who showed little to no signs of intoxication, and she sat at the bar and ordered a beer. She was old looking, but I carded her anyways (our bouncer was absent that evening, and a little flattery for an older lady is generally well accepted.) She handed me her ID, and she was in her early 40's. Anyway, I serve her a 16 oz. beer and a shot of whiskey. She finishes, and is showing serious signs of intoxication. She got up to use the restroom and she was stumbling like a madman, and she came back and slurred out, "anotherrrrrr brrrrr and bummmmp..." and I said exactly by the book what I am supposed to say: "Ma'am, I don't feel comfortable serving you any more alcohol, would you like to have a soda or coffe and look at our food menu?" She got semi-irritated and had a water, and stumbled out.

Well, she proceeded to hop in her car, attempt to go to another bar but instead, she ran into a car of 16 year olds, head on - going the wrong way down the street. Turns out, before she came to me, she had popped multiple prescription drugs, some crack, some weed, and a shitload of beers and vodka. I found myself in a fucking shitstorm, because somehow she mumbled out the name of the restaurant she was at before she crashed - I had to go to court, miss multiple days of work, I almost got fired, paid fines - and the whole "innocent until proven guilty" well, that's a gigantic crock of dog shit. Even when nobody was convicted of anything, the local news drags the restaurant's name through the mud. Thank buddah, I had multiple witnesses who testified for me, or else I would have been up shit's creek without a paddle.

When I first started working in a restaurant, one day, we were insanely busy for lunch. Two guys came in and sat at the bar, asked for bloody marys, and the bartender was crazy busy, asked for their ID's, and served them their drinks. They informed my friend the bartender that he had failed a sting and needed to see the manager. The ID's were of legal drinking age, but the ID's were expired by 2 days each. The restaurant lost their liquor license for 2 days, my friend was fired, and had to pay a $3,000 fine, and fuck if he ever got hired anywhere in the cities, ha. Granted that was his fault, and super shitty really because we were so fucking busy, I could have easily done the same thing, but it shows how seriously it is taken by the law.

If somebody makes a "big deal" (haha, a big deal - funny - I don't make a big deal out of your expired ID, I just tell you that you can't drink alcohol. However, you're more than welcome to stay and have a soda...is that a big deal??) Anyway, they are being SMART. They are COVERING THEIR OWN ASS, because one night of drinking for you is not worth our JOB.

As for "inspectors" (what are inspectors? cops? food inspectors? I assume cops...) "aren't up a vineyard's ass..." well, that surely isn't true. My dad owns a vineyard in bumfuck northern usa, and you're damn right they're up his ass. They'll camp out a couple miles down the road and pop people leaving the winery just to be dickheads who obviously have nothing better to do. If you serve alcohol, you have to be avidly aware of the consequences of serving it to people. When a bar or establishment cards you and refuses you service for a TOTALLY VALID REASON (your expired ID, not old enough, etc) the customer is not being "PROFILED and TRIVIAL and not wanting young people there" as you call it (totally and completely laughable - I don't give a rat's fat ass how old you are, if you're 21 or 88, if you have 30 friends or you're by yourself, and nobody else does, as long as you're a decent tipping, not-a-total-jackass customer). And losing money???? HA - do you think I would have rather had that $2.00 that lady I mentioned above tipped me, or would I rather spend days in court and ridiculed and scrutinized....over her 2 drinks? I think not. Put us in place of your job. Let's say you work at a convenience store. Do you think I'm going to walk in and ask to buy $20 in lottery tickets, and they card me, because I look young, and I don't have my ID, or it's expired - do I have any right to be mad at them when they refuse to sell me the lottery tickets? FUCKING ABSOLUTELY NOT. IT'S THE LAW. Have a little more respect and sympathy for people who serve you.

Holy shit that was a reaction.


And yeah, cops are looking to pull potentially unsuspecting wine tasters over after a visit to the yard, but are they running sting operations like they do at shit bars? I live in Miami, and police only do sting operations to people who have pissed off politicians or small fish. A police officer who shut down a major club or bar without getting OK's from the bureaucracy itself down here would be fired for something. I know this for a damn fact. It sucks what has happened to you and friends as restauranteurs, and I was nearly stung at a convenience store when I worked there (saved by the boss, who ID'd this 30 year old looking 17 year old cunt bitch before I made the sale), but places do profile, and if somebody is looking for a 10 day expired ID it is fair to assume that the establishment has policies in place for workers to look for petty shit like that. 10 days expired is nothing. Six out of seven places (on one particular night) didn't give a shit. And this ID was way past 10 days. Sorry dude, but places discriminate. It's cool that you never worked at one that did, but it happens.

And how exactly was I ever disrespectful towards the people who work in the service industry? I don't believe that bartenders take it upon themselves to discriminate based on perceived trouble. Company Policy is the name of the game. I never take that shit out on the worker who makes shit for money. It isn't their fault. I just walk out and boycott. Your post assumes that I make some sort of scene when shit like this happens.

Seriously, being from South Florida there is no urgency to get your license renewed. Even the most dickwaddy cops who pull you over don't give a shit. And the DMV down here is horrible. It takes like 15+ days for me to receive my renewed tags or license if I do it online, and I dare not sit in the DMV for an entire day. I wouldn't place the blame on Lysis. A barely expired ID is trivial, and I'm willing to bet that the sting operation you were a part of was related to something much larger than an attempt to solve the expired ID crisis. The owner of that bar probably pissed a city commissioner off, and your friend was a pawn used in the game. But understand that how strictly laws such as these are enforced is totally related to district. Down here if a place won't accept your money and you are of age it is clearly discriminatory.

 

[Sexfiend]

I would leave with a friend if they couldn't get in, this has happened to me before several times, especially when I first turned 18 and some of my friends were still under 18, we would go out, get into clubs have some drinks together, but if anyone got kicked out or barred entry for any reason I and the group would follow.
There's no fun in doing stuff by yourself.

The closest I've been to that situation is when I was 17 drinking with work mates, I got totally wasted on bottles of wine then got kicked out for being underage. I did not expect nor want the workmates to follow me. Out in the street some cops saw me stumbling home dead drunk and asked me where I got the drinks from, I could have told them about the place I'd just left and they woulda got in trouble, but I didnt. It was my choice to drink underage or not.

But anyways it depends on the circumstances, how good of a friends they are, so on.

But in the OPs situation I definitely think the carder person was being an ass, why couldn't the OP just have been allowed to sit inside with the others without drinking.

Also in this situation her sister was being a bit of an ass too.

To the suggestion that the OPs boyfriend should have gone inside leaving her as well, that wouldn't have been much of a boyfriend if he did.


I suggest going out again with them, and seeing what happens, if there is consistent pattern of such dismissive behaviour perhaps the relationship to your sister and these "friends" could be questioned.

It's hard to tell someone what is right for their specific circumstances, but usually gut feeling is right, if you feel offended, and they keep making you feel this way whenever your around them....

 

[Care]

Id be angry about having to wait outside while everyone else was partying, but I dont think its fair you direct your anger at you sister. As lame as it is its your fault for not having a valid ID.