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Am I an alcoholic?

PriestTheyCalledHim

PriestTheyCalledHim

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Oct 7, 2005
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Serious question: Am I an alcoholic, or just a heavy drinker/"problem drinker"?

I first drank an entire glass of wine when I was 12 or 13 and I liked the buzz I got from it. Then at 14 I started to drink vodka my parents had that they didn't drink, and when I was 18 I had only drank half of the bottle. Through ages 15 through 20 I would sometimes drink beer or liquor with friends that we would get for parties or at live concerts. I also would have periods where I was not drinking; but I was not sober but I would just use other drugs like LSD (acid), psychedelic mushrooms, amphetamines (prescription, never meth), pharmaceutical opiates (oxycodone/hydrocodone/codeine-not heroin), and I tried coke once but did not really enjoy it. I never really mixed the other drugs but I sometimes would have periods of time when I would take them daily if I wanted to. But I stopped using all of those years/decades ago, and I do not really have a desire to use these drugs now.

I had a period in college where I was in my early 20s and I drank daily for 5 months. Yes I did black out at least once. I did not drive as I had no access to a car.

I did stop drinking daily. I slowly cut back and then quit. I also would smoke pot instead of drinking as I figured it was less harmful and it would not give me horrible hangovers. I know it was stupid to do this but I did not have any sort of withdrawal at all, and at the time I did not want people to know I was drinking so much alcohol.

I did this over the summer before my last semester of college. I returned to college that fall and yes I did still drink but kept it to just the weekends and I would drink maybe 5-6 drinks or a bit more with friends at a bar throughout a night.

I did graduate from college, I was easily able to complete all my exams/papers/projects, etc. and get very high marks. I did however continue to drink until I was 29. Sometimes I would drink "normally" and only have 1-2 drinks in a night, and then not drink for awhile like months at a time to where when I did drink one or two standard measured shots of vodka would get me very drunk when sipped slowly.

Other times if I was on vacation with friends and we went to a bar, or I was at a party with friends and I was having fun I would get very drunk and have 6 drinks or more in a night. But we were partying at a bar, or at someone's house.

I haven't drank intentionally for 2 years and 3 months. I stopped drinking 2+ years ago since a friend of mine died from cancer and I did not take her death well, and drinking alcohol would not have helped. My relatives and friends do know that I had a period in my life where I was drinking heavily and abusing alcohol. By the time I stopped 2.5 years ago I would mainly just drink on weekends and have 1-2 drinks either beer, mixed drinks, or wine.

While I was living with a roommate who is a secret alcoholic last year, he did make homemade eggnog last December and either put lots of vanilla extract, or rum into it, and did not tell me he did this. I had some and it just made me sleepy, and I did not have any desire for alcohol despite having drank it.

No I'm not going to drink since I'm having some personal issues right now and alcohol would not help. I also have stopped hanging out as much with my friends who when we would socialize together or hang out all they wanted to do was drink at home, or go to a bar/pub/party and drink. I still see them but when they suggest that we drink together I just say no thanks and drink water instead, or just don't go out with them if they're going to a bar and will be staying there most of the night.
 
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Priest
Doesn't sound like your drinking consumes your life, and you are able to go into social situations and be comfortable drinking water. I guess a better question to ask yourself is does your drinking affect the people in your life negatively?
 
Only you can tell if you are or are not. I would really ask yourself two things:

A. Why are you asking/thinking about this?

B. What are the pro's of drinking vs the con's

I think everyone questions this from time to time, but when I do I tend to remind myself of all the positives of not drinking. Last night I was driving home (from a regional NA meeting) and saw a group of 3 good looking girls obviously walking to a bar. I thought "damn I miss that, when I would drink I would just go up and talk to them no worries blah blah blah"

But the reality is:

I wouldn't have talked to them, in fact, I am much more approachable and I talk to way more people when I am not drinking. This is because I look better and do not feel the nagging sense of shame that I felt when in active addiction. I then remember what it was like when I would go out and drink (I'd get drunk and then find or try to find drugs, I wasn't thinking about girls or anything like that). Then I think about what I would be giving up etc etc.

Just wanted to write this out, its for me only. Kinda forgot about that thought last night until reading this thread.
 
Thanks for the replies everyone.

I do think about this at times since my ex-roommate who is an alcoholic but doesn't want to admit it, would always tell me how I am an alcoholic. Also because when I was drinking daily it was scary towards the end before I quit doing that, and I don't want to ever get that way again.

I do have relatives who were alcoholics. They're not direct relatives like my parents, aunts/uncles, or grandparents though; but more like great-great uncles. So I am not sure if this means alcoholism is in my genes, or not?

My ex-roommate is an alcoholic and either abuses or is addicted to opiates, and was addicted to benzos decades ago; but he did help me realize that when I'm around certain friends in a certain social setting I do have a tendency to drink too much sometimes, so even before I had stopped drinking 2 years ago I would keep that in mind and sometimes I wouldn't drink at all, or I'd only have 1-2 drinks.

I'm not going to drink anytime soon since I'm having some personal issues right now with my family, and drinking would not help. I haven't used other drugs in years. I do sometimes miss smoking pot, and taking mushrooms but again right now those would not help, and I did enough of both in the past.
 
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My sister's now exboyfriend who I think was a former alcoholic told me this one time when I asked that exact same question---------If you can walk into a bar and have only one drink and then walk out and go home you are not an alcoholic.
 
samm2 said:
My sister's now exboyfriend who I think was a former alcoholic told me this one time when I asked that exact same question---------If you can walk into a bar and have only one drink and then walk out and go home you are not an alcoholic.
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OK I have done this many times.

I don't like how alcohol can make me feel down, or sad the next day or few days after drinking it for no reason at all, so I don't drink it anymore.
 
I don't personally believe there is a single alcoholism to rule them all and that there is a simple criteria based means to sort out alcoholics from problem drinkers.

And now I proceed to contradict myself a little bit by offering criteria: If one keeps setting abstinence goals or moderation goals and one continuously fails in those goals, well, then I think you have a drinking situation that warrants getting some external help. If definitionally an alcoholic is someone who can only have a healthy existence in relationship to alcohol through abstinence, I'd say get to 3 months of abstinence and lets contemplate things from that vantage point.

I've known a few people that have only drank a few times in their whole lives but every time they drank it was horrible after effects like jail, injuries, waking up in Arkansas when they last remembered being at home in LA, shit like that. 4 or 5 drunken events aren't something I'd recommend abstinence over, unless every event or nearly every drunk had carried horrible scary consequences.

I've known people who drink everyday without any badness from it that I've ever observed. If someone has drunk everyday for decades there is some risk in discontinuing even when it wasn't always mass quantities. Its worth involving medical folks even if one isn't any sort of classic alcoholic stuff going on.

Risk/benefit analysis with someone in a position to force some honest reflection could be a really good thing. Risk/ benefit analysis is a tricky thing. If you say there is no benefit, then someone else could just say give it up, problem solved. But if you overplay the benefit you are kind of making your opponent's point for them. And consequences and lost opportunities over drinking, I think I'd quit drinking just to not have that conversation.

Of course I'm responding to the thread because I'm teetering on the precipice of going towards an abstinence based approach for myself, which might work or I might fail, or I might come to a hybrid solution. I think its useful in some places for some purposes to think of alcoholism as monolithic, all alcoholics are the same and you either are alcoholic or you are not. I think that isn't real & true though, only possibly useful.
 
PriestTheyCalledHim said:
OK I have done this many times.

I don't like how alcohol can make me feel down, or sad the next day or few days after drinking it for no reason at all, so I don't drink it anymore.
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I don't think "for no reason at all" . I think alcohol, at least the first few drinks, is a serotonin releaser, everybody of course is different. Alcohol effects serotonin,endorphin and dopamine systems rather broad spectrum from what I understand.It's been described as a monoamine depleter. In other words dries you up and that what it feels like---depleted.
 
Have you ever used alcohol to numb or avoid feelings? Have you ever been so down or ill the day after drinking that you've drank more alcohol to feel better?
 
WantToBeReborn said:
Have you ever used alcohol to numb or avoid feelings?

Have you ever been so down or ill the day after drinking that you've drank more alcohol to feel better?
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1. Sometimes, like when I was getting anxiety. Other times I just would drink because I would be going out to bars with friends and it was cheaper to drink at home than buy drinks at a bar that I would walk to, and my goal would be to get drunk and party.

2. Not really, when I had really bad hangovers I would not consume more alcohol and would instead just drink water, eat food, and rest.
 
Some clear signs that you're probably addicted to alcohol

-If you think about drinking pretty much everyday even though you have given it up and been sober for a long period.

-If you feal a drive or crave to drink.

-If you spend periods of time thinking or fantasizing about drinking.

-If you have ever had dreams about drinking, esp dreams where you were about to drink, but then something always goes wrong. Like your about to drink and then all of the sudden the bottom of the glass falls out and all the drink soaks into carpeting.



Alcoholics drink in many different ways. There is the 12 beers a night alcoholic. There is the drunk from friday to sunday night alcoholic. There is once they start they dont stop until they have lost everything alcoholic. There is the wine from morning on alcoholic. There is the everytime they drink they get stinking drunk alcoholic. There is the passed out homeless bum alcoholic. IMO alcoholics come in many forms.
 
If you allready ask yourself wether your drinking is "normal" or not (addiction, illness), this often can be interpreted as an indicator that there is something about your consumption of alcohol that you don't like. It could be some negative commentary from a beloved person ("you drink too heavy!") or you may believe that your amount of drinks in drinking episodes may be over the boarder and it makes you think, because society in general tends to warn people from overconsumption of booze. So if you ask yourself this particular question (am I an alkoholic?), ask yourself "what makes me think this way?"

alcoholism often developes over lifetime, it rarely comes fast. you can enjoy your drinks for years, maybe for decades, without ever causing trouble or getting addicted physically - but when you tend to drink alcohol regularly (psychological addiction often is allready developed), you may slip into the habit of daily abuse and get physically addicted.

so I wouldn't like to tell you wether you are an "alkoholic" or "not", I simply can assure you that the more consciously you behave and consume, the smaller chances are to become an alcohol-addict.

also, what I have learned (I have studied methods of alcoholism treatment based on conversational therapy at university btw, just pure coincidence, not bullshitting you) - there is no alcohol-consumption 100% free of risk. you can only minimize the risks involved by consuming consciously.
 
In France they serve wine with breakfast,lunch and dinner. In Germany they serve beer at Mcdonald's last I heard.(monoyboy correct me if I am wrong) Anybody know if alcohol is more of a problem in those countries?
 
Yes, I believe it is possible to order a small beer at a McDonald's, but only in the bigger stores, and as far as I know the beer tastes awfull. And no, alcohol is not less a problem here, it is rather more of a problem! because in Germany the consumption of alcohol (especially beer) is a kind of a tradition (going back to the monks who brewed beers with all kinds of psychoactive ingredients like magic mushrooms etc. to the modern breweries that were built during the industrialization to provide a cheap, nutritious and comforting drug for the masses of workers). people from all sorts of (sub)cultures and classes like to drink beer in their spare time or at weekends, it is absolutely common to drink beer in public, you can take a box of beer bottles and a bottle of vodka and drink it publicly in a park or somewhere, no one will bother. in bavaria, the southern part of germany, beer is even more important. it is common to drink a Mass (1 Litre Beer served in a great Glass) during lunch break on an ordinary weekday in the so called Biergarten (beer garden).

In germany alcoholism is a problem affecting all classes of society - poor, unemployed, workers, successfull, well-educated people, people from the media, athletes etc. - it is still a kind of taboo in many social groups. also, in Germany there are no dedicated liquor stores, but you can buy beer, wine and even spirits like vodka or whiskey in practically every store, from grocerie stores to gas stations, you can get it everywhere, it is cheap and available allmost 24 hours a day. 16 year old youngsters are allowed to buy and consme beer and wine 100% legally.


I think in france it is a similiar situation but they drink lots of wine instead of beer. It is seen as a habit, not really as a problem. I don't like the frenchmen too well, they are kind of nasty, it seems they hate us Germans still for all the wars. :D

In conclusion I would say, alcohol is maybe not more of a problem in our country but it is surely more visible, it's no need for hiding. many alcoholics I met during my drinking years weren't even aware that they got into an addiction, some even believed alcohol wouldn't do no harm at all.
 
moneyboy said:
Yes, I believe it is possible to order a small beer at a McDonald's, but only in the bigger stores, and as far as I know the beer tastes awfull. And no, alcohol is not less a problem here, it is rather more of a problem! because in Germany the consumption of alcohol (especially beer) is a kind of a tradition (going back to the monks who brewed beers with all kinds of psychoactive ingredients like magic mushrooms etc. to the modern breweries that were built during the industrialization to provide a cheap, nutritious and comforting drug for the masses of workers). people from all sorts of (sub)cultures and classes like to drink beer in their spare time or at weekends, it is absolutely common to drink beer in public, you can take a box of beer bottles and a bottle of vodka and drink it publicly in a park or somewhere, no one will bother. in bavaria, the southern part of germany, beer is even more important. it is common to drink a Mass (1 Litre Beer served in a great Glass) during lunch break on an ordinary weekday in the so called Biergarten (beer garden).

In germany alcoholism is a problem affecting all classes of society - poor, unemployed, workers, successfull, well-educated people, people from the media, athletes etc. - it is still a kind of taboo in many social groups. also, in Germany there are no dedicated liquor stores, but you can buy beer, wine and even spirits like vodka or whiskey in practically every store, from grocerie stores to gas stations, you can get it everywhere, it is cheap and available allmost 24 hours a day. 16 year old youngsters are allowed to buy and consme beer and wine 100% legally.


I think in france it is a similiar situation but they drink lots of wine instead of beer. It is seen as a habit, not really as a problem. I don't like the frenchmen too well, they are kind of nasty, it seems they hate us Germans still for all the wars. :D

In conclusion I would say, alcohol is maybe not more of a problem in our country but it is surely more visible, it's no need for hiding. many alcoholics I met during my drinking years weren't even aware that they got into an addiction, some even believed alcohol wouldn't do no harm at all.
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That's very interesting. I have German-American ancestors and friends who were/are alcoholics. I also have German ancestors/relatives, who would drink beer regularly socially in moderation such as 1-2 beers after work occasionally, as a Feierabendbierchen; but they did not become alcoholics or get drunk, etc. despite how their siblings or parents did.

I have not had any alcohol at all in over 6 years now and I no longer use drugs as that's my choice. I found out that some of my relatives/ancestors did become alcoholics or died of cirrhosis of the liver and I figure I've had enough alcohol in my life.
 
Unfortunately, Priest you are asking a question that can really only be answered by you. Certainly the medical and clinical fields have expanded their understanding in the recent years so they may be able to "diagnose" someone as having an AUD (Alcohol Use Disorder via DSM-V), but the emotional, and spiritual aspects evade traditional diagnosis. When I say spiritual I don't mean that in any religious sense. I am speaking of the ability to connect on a deep level with others. How we relate with others in our daily lives says more about our spirit than any dogmatic school. I will say that I only have a problem when a situation has become unacceptable to me. I have seen people who smoked a few joints and didn't like the way that it changed their perception toward reality and they entered recovery. I have also seen homeless people who lived a life that had become unacceptable to any rational person yet it was not unacceptable to them yet. Is your relationship with substances unacceptable to you?
 
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