Always needing to be high

It seems like I always need to be under the influence of some kind of drug. When I'm not on meth, I used to drink a lot. But now that I've pretty much stopped drinking, I tend to reach for my bottle of clonazepam instead - taking insanely high doses, that would probably make somebody with no tolerance to the drug fall unconscious. It's almost like I have an aversion to sobriety, or maybe even a fear. I need to be on something just to get through the day... just to keep on going.

 

I know the feeling well. I always needed SOMETHING. shit, I remember shooting some sort of crushed vitamin once. I knew it wouldn't get me high and would cause vein damage but I did it anyway. Ugh!

 

Wow, I haven't quite gone that far! But IV'ing has never been my main ROA, luckily, or I'm sure I would have done some damage to my veins by now. I was so fucked on clonazepam last night, I actually didn't remember writing this entry until I checked the blogs this morning!