Stay.Blazed.420
Bluelighter
Well I had a shitty day and a shitty night. I was bored and had no hoots. I was feelin pretty down and bummed out because me and my gf were fighting. So instead of taking 3 (like my max dose says) i took 20 all at once, then drank a beer and had a mixed drink. I know it's bad to mix this but I was at a stage where if i died, i died and if i lived, i lived.. I didn't care.
Finishing that drink was the last thing I remember. Next thing I know I'm at my gf's house and it's the next day. We're screamin at each other and she wanted to know where her razor blade was and was accusing me of taking it and i remember throwing my cell phone at the floor and saying 'stop doing that fucking shit', then she said 'well i'm gonna go find another one' and i said 'you walk away and i'll do something that'll hurt more'. She walked towards the bathroom and I grabbed her wrist and put her arm behind her back so she couldn't move it. I said i'd let go so long as she didn't go and get a razor, she said fine. I let go of her and i don't remember what happened next. I have cuts on my neck and throat that i can only assume came from a knife. I'm pretty sure I did it, i'm not quite sure.
I couldn't find my socks or shoes and she said when she picked me up i never had any on. She said i was stumbling and walking all fucked up when i walked out to her car. Apparently I said i wanted to kill myself the night i took all that xanax and she was really worried and I wasn't texting back. I dunno if i fell asleep or if i just never checked my phone. I spent the next hour or two looking for my cell battery. I still have not found it. I have no recollection of anything, but i don't remember any negative emotions or feelings even though i apparently said i wanted to die.
Apparently she called numerous times and i never answered. She sent me fb messages and even got her friend to text me. I don't remember it.
Then I went and checked my internet history. I was in my room alone for probably 6 hours before i fell asleep. I downloaded some random video game and i browsed bluelight and my hotmail. I don't remember any of it.
All in all, i'm glad I experienced it... That was some crazy shit.
Finishing that drink was the last thing I remember. Next thing I know I'm at my gf's house and it's the next day. We're screamin at each other and she wanted to know where her razor blade was and was accusing me of taking it and i remember throwing my cell phone at the floor and saying 'stop doing that fucking shit', then she said 'well i'm gonna go find another one' and i said 'you walk away and i'll do something that'll hurt more'. She walked towards the bathroom and I grabbed her wrist and put her arm behind her back so she couldn't move it. I said i'd let go so long as she didn't go and get a razor, she said fine. I let go of her and i don't remember what happened next. I have cuts on my neck and throat that i can only assume came from a knife. I'm pretty sure I did it, i'm not quite sure.
I couldn't find my socks or shoes and she said when she picked me up i never had any on. She said i was stumbling and walking all fucked up when i walked out to her car. Apparently I said i wanted to kill myself the night i took all that xanax and she was really worried and I wasn't texting back. I dunno if i fell asleep or if i just never checked my phone. I spent the next hour or two looking for my cell battery. I still have not found it. I have no recollection of anything, but i don't remember any negative emotions or feelings even though i apparently said i wanted to die.
Apparently she called numerous times and i never answered. She sent me fb messages and even got her friend to text me. I don't remember it.
Then I went and checked my internet history. I was in my room alone for probably 6 hours before i fell asleep. I downloaded some random video game and i browsed bluelight and my hotmail. I don't remember any of it.
All in all, i'm glad I experienced it... That was some crazy shit.
