I'm currently messing with a-PVP (a legal RC stim similar to MDPV) and am getting a little too fascinated by my own thoughts 
.
This is generally a sign that thought-reality wants to take over perceptual-reality and decide what is to happen, and I'm merely posting this as a self-reminder that needs to be noted -- as well as maybe something interesting for anyone reading this who isn't familiar with stimulant use.
Stop thinking. Do something concrete. Knock it off, get some sleep. Cool beans.
At some point your thoughts become really interesting, then really important, then vitally important, then "vitally important/fascinating, regardless of content".
In the past things have gotten weird at that point -- I'll start to examine the alphabet, which letter comes after which other letter, compare the alphabet song to the way the letters sound, then start to see patterns that are not there and believe that I am perceiving a hidden reality based on sounds and word associations.
Such as "The letter is in the mail". "The let-her is in the male". I am the male. She's "someone in my mind"... suddenly there are two people.
She's the "me" and I'm the "I". There are two of us here inside consciousness. She's trying to communicate, and I have to "let her" LOL...
This got ridiculous the last time I messed with a-PVP... the song "Ay, Beee, Ceee, Deee, Eeee, F, Geeee" started to turn into "Ev-ry chi-ld, ev-ry onnnne....." by some unknown association, and then I was certain I had died and was in an afterlife, remembering the alphabet falsely, and the "Ev-ry child, every one" was the way the song really went.
Following that I was dumb enough to go outside, noticeably wacky.
This is how stimulants get nutty -- via scatter, disassociation and false associations. It usually doesn't happen unless sleep deprivation is involved too... that's the pivotal axis that turns reality over onto its adam's apple and creates a dream falsehood you believe you're living.
The point that you're lost is when you forget you're taking them at all, and just keep doing it without being conscious of doing it. You're in deep sh*t then.
I don't even want to remember what happened last time with a-pvp... one of the most hellish stim "runs" I've experienced in the 30 or so years destiny has been putting these substances in my path. I didn't lose touch with reality. There wasn't one.
Dopamine receptors don't care, tho. They have no memory, can't think or reason, don't feel emotions and don't know anything. They are bio-chemical. They are simple. "Administer". "Repeat". "WOO!"
And why the hell not?
I accept all experiences, events and things that happen, as they occur, and enjoy them for what they are *unconditionally*. I love everything, even when it sucks. The way I operate is SO simple, and the only time I'm crazy enough to try and explain it in words is times like now. I doubt anyone will understand... I seek nothing, and fear nothing.
Peace....
. This is generally a sign that thought-reality wants to take over perceptual-reality and decide what is to happen, and I'm merely posting this as a self-reminder that needs to be noted -- as well as maybe something interesting for anyone reading this who isn't familiar with stimulant use.
Stop thinking. Do something concrete. Knock it off, get some sleep. Cool beans.
At some point your thoughts become really interesting, then really important, then vitally important, then "vitally important/fascinating, regardless of content".
In the past things have gotten weird at that point -- I'll start to examine the alphabet, which letter comes after which other letter, compare the alphabet song to the way the letters sound, then start to see patterns that are not there and believe that I am perceiving a hidden reality based on sounds and word associations.
Such as "The letter is in the mail". "The let-her is in the male". I am the male. She's "someone in my mind"... suddenly there are two people.
She's the "me" and I'm the "I". There are two of us here inside consciousness. She's trying to communicate, and I have to "let her" LOL...
This got ridiculous the last time I messed with a-PVP... the song "Ay, Beee, Ceee, Deee, Eeee, F, Geeee" started to turn into "Ev-ry chi-ld, ev-ry onnnne....." by some unknown association, and then I was certain I had died and was in an afterlife, remembering the alphabet falsely, and the "Ev-ry child, every one" was the way the song really went.
Following that I was dumb enough to go outside, noticeably wacky.
This is how stimulants get nutty -- via scatter, disassociation and false associations. It usually doesn't happen unless sleep deprivation is involved too... that's the pivotal axis that turns reality over onto its adam's apple and creates a dream falsehood you believe you're living.
The point that you're lost is when you forget you're taking them at all, and just keep doing it without being conscious of doing it. You're in deep sh*t then
.I don't even want to remember what happened last time with a-pvp... one of the most hellish stim "runs" I've experienced in the 30 or so years destiny has been putting these substances in my path. I didn't lose touch with reality. There wasn't one.
Dopamine receptors don't care, tho. They have no memory, can't think or reason, don't feel emotions and don't know anything. They are bio-chemical. They are simple. "Administer". "Repeat". "WOO!"
And why the hell not?
I accept all experiences, events and things that happen, as they occur, and enjoy them for what they are *unconditionally*. I love everything, even when it sucks. The way I operate is SO simple, and the only time I'm crazy enough to try and explain it in words is times like now. I doubt anyone will understand... I seek nothing, and fear nothing.
Peace....