steewith2ees
Bluelight Crew
In Staffs no - one can hear you scream
Im feeling particularly lonely at the moment. Despite a slightly less awful summer than last year, I remain more or less totally socially isolated, generally ignored by my peers in real life and most of those I meet online. Despite making some effort and plans to get out and about I remain, to all intents and purposes, completely friendless, having contact with only my parents and health and social care professionals and the odd drug dealer here and there
Ive done myself no favours having managed to make myself about as unpopular online as I am in real life.
The only real comfort and peace I get is the oblivion provided by opiates and tranquillisers, which while not making me feel any better about things distract me enough from my inevitable premature death. But how deep does that reassurance and comfort go? In a pathetic and desperate effort to communicate with other bored members Im going to use today as a social science experiment, and experiment which will involve me just taking lots of drugs. Shouldnt be too hard
Im not the most confident tripper, with mushrooms being my only psychedelic outlet since I stopped taking street acid in my teens. However, I have taken a shine to the 1-P LSD blotters that have been available on the grey market since last christmas.
Due to my pre ban stockpiling I find myself with every drug I need to entertain myself in a large empty house for a day. I have hundreds of benzos of all different types, 2 different hybrid weeds, plenty of heroin (and an unopened bag of spoons and pins to go with) and methadone, BK-2C-B pellets, and 30 tabs of penny acid. With all that chemical comfort on hand, do I actually need another human being. My plan is to take 200mcgs of penny acid, wait untill the shit hits the fan, and report back. Will the trip just compound all the negativity and hopelessness constantly floating around my brain? Or will a double dose (ive only ever taken them one at a time) offer sufficient enough detachment for me to temporarily escape my social isolation and offer a level of ego death which allows me to completely accept the fact that Im alone, probably always will be, and to actively embrace the situation. Leading experts in neuropsychiatry are currently interested in how psychedelics could contribute to palliative care, that, when it gets close to the end, rather that blowing someones brains out with high dose opiates / opioids, a psyche could be introduced which may allow the patient the objectivity and mental clarity to face their demise head on, with more sense of acceptance and understanding.
Could this be translated to those like myself, who have no self esteem left? Can the final frontier offer me a level of universal engagement without requiring the presence of another human being?. Considering, that for this one moment in time - I have everything I want materially - the drugs I have listed above, a blu ray copy of every film I have ever wanted, 25 years worth of the best house / rave / club music and the loudest and best audio visual equipment any home could ask for (the PS4 can go in there as well but I dont think Ill get much out of it while tripping) do I need anyone or anything else?
Ok so ultimately its just some sad wanker sat tripping on his own.
Or am I alone?
I hope to know for certain by the end of the day
St. With no ees,
but enough of everything else to hopefully get me through another saturday.
Im feeling particularly lonely at the moment. Despite a slightly less awful summer than last year, I remain more or less totally socially isolated, generally ignored by my peers in real life and most of those I meet online. Despite making some effort and plans to get out and about I remain, to all intents and purposes, completely friendless, having contact with only my parents and health and social care professionals and the odd drug dealer here and there
Ive done myself no favours having managed to make myself about as unpopular online as I am in real life.
The only real comfort and peace I get is the oblivion provided by opiates and tranquillisers, which while not making me feel any better about things distract me enough from my inevitable premature death. But how deep does that reassurance and comfort go? In a pathetic and desperate effort to communicate with other bored members Im going to use today as a social science experiment, and experiment which will involve me just taking lots of drugs. Shouldnt be too hard
Im not the most confident tripper, with mushrooms being my only psychedelic outlet since I stopped taking street acid in my teens. However, I have taken a shine to the 1-P LSD blotters that have been available on the grey market since last christmas.
Due to my pre ban stockpiling I find myself with every drug I need to entertain myself in a large empty house for a day. I have hundreds of benzos of all different types, 2 different hybrid weeds, plenty of heroin (and an unopened bag of spoons and pins to go with) and methadone, BK-2C-B pellets, and 30 tabs of penny acid. With all that chemical comfort on hand, do I actually need another human being. My plan is to take 200mcgs of penny acid, wait untill the shit hits the fan, and report back. Will the trip just compound all the negativity and hopelessness constantly floating around my brain? Or will a double dose (ive only ever taken them one at a time) offer sufficient enough detachment for me to temporarily escape my social isolation and offer a level of ego death which allows me to completely accept the fact that Im alone, probably always will be, and to actively embrace the situation. Leading experts in neuropsychiatry are currently interested in how psychedelics could contribute to palliative care, that, when it gets close to the end, rather that blowing someones brains out with high dose opiates / opioids, a psyche could be introduced which may allow the patient the objectivity and mental clarity to face their demise head on, with more sense of acceptance and understanding.
Could this be translated to those like myself, who have no self esteem left? Can the final frontier offer me a level of universal engagement without requiring the presence of another human being?. Considering, that for this one moment in time - I have everything I want materially - the drugs I have listed above, a blu ray copy of every film I have ever wanted, 25 years worth of the best house / rave / club music and the loudest and best audio visual equipment any home could ask for (the PS4 can go in there as well but I dont think Ill get much out of it while tripping) do I need anyone or anything else?
Ok so ultimately its just some sad wanker sat tripping on his own.
Or am I alone?
I hope to know for certain by the end of the day
St. With no ees,
but enough of everything else to hopefully get me through another saturday.
