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Sad Alone on my 50th bday

jwking26

jwking26

Greenlighter
Joined
Jan 6, 2026
Messages
42
Location
Flatlands of kansas
I have looked forward to this day for some time. The closer it got the more anxious I got because its a miracle that I made it this far.
What I wasn't expecting was to be spending it alone crying my eyes out like a baby. Not even my kids wished me happy birthday.
It just doesn't feel the same now. I did so much to make sure I would make it to this day and for what?
A few weeks ago I wanted to throw out my heart medication and cancel my cardiac ablation surgery and let nature takes its course. I even canceled the appointment but somehow it didn't go through and I went ahead and had the procedure done.
I quit my job and they begged me to come back, mainly because they can't afford to train another person to build the machines I build.
I never thought turning 50 would feel this lonely.
I honestly feel that no one would miss me, they would just miss what I can do for them.
I regret having the surgery and not throwing my pills out.
Im emotionally, physically, and spiritually exhausted. I dont even want to make myself food anymore.
My eyes burn from the tears and there is no shoulder to cry on. No one to tell me its gonna be ok.
Ive had many places to live but have never had a home.
Happy birthday to me. I made it to 50.
Now what?
 
Just a number. There are people who care about others and have empathy in the world. Maybe not that many, but some. It's trite and sounds preachy which is not what I'm going for but best way to make friends is to be one. Happy birthday, don't let the fact it's a milestone eff your mind, and don't feel like you need to act your age. Take care of yourself and have many more birthdays!
 
Birthdays can be rough,the one I just had was weird,it is the age my mother died.Really made me see and feel how very young she was.Mostly I just don't care about birthdays much,but I sure like to spoil others.Maybe its a neurotic thing,that I don't feel worthy .Strange,but I sure feel you,50 can be a trip for many.Maybe do something nice for yourself this week,we truly are all we have deep down inside.Love yourself and for what its worth
Happy Birthday Celebration GIF by memmo.me
 
I hit 50 a bit ago, family, kids, and friends all around me, much fuss was made about my birthday, it was genuine and heart felt from them but it didn't make me feel any better or any happier, my birthday was mostly about them demonstrating their affection publicly, not them doing something that I actually wanted or enjoyed.

kids are ungrateful selfish shits at certain ages.

I had everyone around but never felt so lonely.

I feel for you and relate to where you're at, it will pass, find a passion, try new things, you can make new friends still, find new hobbies, and enjoy life.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

The random people on the internet do care about you!

M!$TER-ED said:
The best expectations in life are those that don’t depend on other people.
Click to expand...

the happiest I've been in 20 years is when I've given to others unconditional heart felt support/help and had genuine love for me returned when I didn't expect it. A slightly different take on what you're saying but giving without anything expected in return has created such joy for me when people respond to me in the same way, it's changed how I look at things, I really enjoying giving to people, if I get anything back it's a bonus
 
jwking26 said:
I have looked forward to this day for some time. The closer it got the more anxious I got because its a miracle that I made it this far.
What I wasn't expecting was to be spending it alone crying my eyes out like a baby. Not even my kids wished me happy birthday.
It just doesn't feel the same now. I did so much to make sure I would make it to this day and for what?
A few weeks ago I wanted to throw out my heart medication and cancel my cardiac ablation surgery and let nature takes its course. I even canceled the appointment but somehow it didn't go through and I went ahead and had the procedure done.
I quit my job and they begged me to come back, mainly because they can't afford to train another person to build the machines I build.
I never thought turning 50 would feel this lonely.
I honestly feel that no one would miss me, they would just miss what I can do for them.
I regret having the surgery and not throwing my pills out.
Im emotionally, physically, and spiritually exhausted. I dont even want to make myself food anymore.
My eyes burn from the tears and there is no shoulder to cry on. No one to tell me its gonna be ok.
Ive had many places to live but have never had a home.
Happy birthday to me. I made it to 50.
Now what?
Click to expand...
Please don’t let your kids oversight define this moment. Kids get involved in their own lives and as someone else mentioned, can be surprisingly selfish. This doesn’t mean they don’t love you and care what happens to you.

Maybe next birthday try to make plans to do something you enjoy to celebrate. We unfortunately can’t always count on others.

Happy 50th birthday! You are loved.
 
jwking26 said:
I have looked forward to this day for some time. The closer it got the more anxious I got because its a miracle that I made it this far.
What I wasn't expecting was to be spending it alone crying my eyes out like a baby. Not even my kids wished me happy birthday.
It just doesn't feel the same now. I did so much to make sure I would make it to this day and for what?
A few weeks ago I wanted to throw out my heart medication and cancel my cardiac ablation surgery and let nature takes its course. I even canceled the appointment but somehow it didn't go through and I went ahead and had the procedure done.
I quit my job and they begged me to come back, mainly because they can't afford to train another person to build the machines I build.
I never thought turning 50 would feel this lonely.
I honestly feel that no one would miss me, they would just miss what I can do for them.
I regret having the surgery and not throwing my pills out.
Im emotionally, physically, and spiritually exhausted. I dont even want to make myself food anymore.
My eyes burn from the tears and there is no shoulder to cry on. No one to tell me its gonna be ok.
Ive had many places to live but have never had a home.
Happy birthday to me. I made it to 50.
Now what?
Click to expand...
I’m about to turn 31. I don’t have friends or any romantic partner, but thankfully my parents still check in for my birthday. I don’t think being lonely correlates to any specific age. Major phenomenon right now and I imagine there are a lot of other people feeling the same way who don’t admit it. Better than having toxic people and cling ons in your life is how I look at it.
 
washingtonbound said:
I’m about to turn 31. I don’t have friends or any romantic partner, but thankfully my parents still check in for my birthday. I don’t think being lonely correlates to any specific age. Major phenomenon right now and I imagine there are a lot of other people feeling the same way who don’t admit it. Better than having toxic people and cling ons in your life is how I look at it.
Click to expand...
Whew its going to fly by now,I turned 30 and going to hit 60 in a few years,so live it up young buck
 
theslackernews said:
Just a number. There are people who care about others and have empathy in the world. Maybe not that many, but some. It's trite and sounds preachy which is not what I'm going for but best way to make friends is to be one. Happy birthday, don't let the fact it's a milestone eff your mind, and don't feel like you need to act your age. Take care of yourself and have many more birthdays!
Click to expand...

That's what I used to say.

But 50 is literally shit.

Shit gets real at 50.
 
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