• HEALTH & RECOVERY
    Welcome Guest
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules Thread Directory 1 Thread Directory 2
    Mindfulness Links Addiction & Mind
    Sober Living Partner Program (SLiPP)
  • H&R Moderators: streaM Freak

Almost 4 Years Sober - Considering Psychadelics For Spiritual Growth - Seeking Advice

DrDarkside

DrDarkside

Greenlighter
Joined
Sep 13, 2016
Messages
29
Hello everyone, first of all I used to post on this forum for years in the height of my substance use and abuse under a different account.

I have a new account since I am now clean and sober and have been so for over three years (I am 27 now)

Its nice to be back on this forum, a lot of genuine and helpful people here.

A small bit of background before I get into it: My drug use took me to some very dark places in the past, I mainly abused opiates, benzos, GBL and Ketamine - I guess you could have called me a polydrug abuser. A year or so into my sobriety my oldest and closest friend died from an overdose, he also used to post here...the trauma of this seems to be everlasting, but I do my best to keep positive and think about all the good times we had.

I would say the reason rehab worked for me, is because I understood that recovery is all about knowing yourself, but also because I have a spiritual core. I do not beleive in any religion and consider religion to be the furthest thing from spirituality (A man-made means of control) theres just something inside me which bonds to the energy of the universe and when I am in tune with it, I can feel it, its things like this that make me want to live life. I am a big fan of people like Terrance Mckenna and Alan Watts, what they speak is so very real.

So thats a little bit of background from me, I want to say that, not always am I in tune with this spiritual way of being, to be honest most of the time I am not, I find myself drifting away into the robotic, self centered way of thinking which is the mould society and culture has created for itself. Sometimes its hard to keep the balance, but I do get through it one day at a time. - The reason I am considering psychadelics (which I do have experience with) is because I feel like I need a reset, I want to tune in again properly, to learn and to grow. I have been considering Psilocybin, but as much as I have searched I haven't found anyone talking about doing it after 3-4 years of being clean and sober.

I am looking for like minded people, with experience to share some advice with me, can this be done? how risky is it? I am scared that I will loose my balance, what if I have a bad trip? usually I would deal with it using benzos, this isnt an option for me anymore.

Any feedback would be much appreciated.:)
 
Ayahuasca, iboga and mushrooms would all be good options for you. I never really misused NMDA antagonists during my addiction, so those are my primary go to, though I'm getting at a point where they aren't as valuable as they once we're.

I guess I'm wondering, what are you specific concerns regarding the use of entheogens right now? The one you mentioned is most definitely not very habit forming (much less so than coffee or sugar, and nothing compared to something like cocaine or alcohol)
 
I'm very new to sobriety, but even when I was in rehab absorbing the 12-step recovery method (I have mixed opinions about it) I kind of pondered if the 'no tolerance' of any substances guideline genuinely applied to psychedelics. When I used psilocybin or LSD it didn't really fit into the pattern of use and mindset of my opitate habit. I also worry about having a bad trip because of all the trauma I absorbed in my addiction. I'm still a long way off from having to make the decision but it's something I think about often.
In Alcoholics Anonymous there are a lot of proponents supporting the use of LSD in conjunction with meetings and therapy to treat addiction... not sure if it's the right way but I'm definitely open to it.
 
Bill Wilson tried it. It is pretty hypocritical of the whole abstinence only community to push their black and white dogma like that IMHO.
 
My main concern is not becoming addicted to mushrooms themselves, but to come out of my sober mind then return to it after a trip scares me. I would like to think the effects would be more positive than negative, but what if after my return to sobriety I felt like using again.. Like I said its probably unlikely but there could be a risk there.

If im honest with myself I do think I could handle it but the risk is what puts me off, I feel so in control these days that, to let go, is scary.

@toothpastedog - How long have you been clean for? and how often have you used psychadelics since becoming clean?
 
I think that is a very healthy legitimate concern. Your awareness of the seriousness of such sacred medicine make me feel like you won't end up going down a road to lapse or relapse with entheogens, although I'd avoid the classic NMDA antagonists.

I've been clean for two and a half years and I got off methadone with the aid of iboga and DXM a few months ago. I probably used them for a total of two weeks early on, but haven't been using them at all regularly. And of course I'm still clean, and actually really happy about it. It's so crazy not to experience craving since getting off the juice.
 
If you're really actually sober you'll abstain from all drugs including psychedelics and cannabis, not just some drugs.

The point of being sober is to stop using all drugs/chemicals including ones like psychedelics, cannabis, Kratom, etc. and to live your life without them and the other drugs you have addictions to.

You have almost 4 years of complete sobriety based on what you wrote. A lot of people here, and who are addicts in the throes of addiction would love to be in your situation.

Don't throw away all your hard work just to trip on psychedelic drugs.

If you want to learn about yourself and grow spiritually get into meditation and even yoga. Good luck.
 
Last edited:
Why is it that you want to work with entheogens OP? What is it that you intend or hope to gain from the experience?

Entheogens can be a very powerful tool promoting long term recovery and authentic self determination. However, their use for someone hoping to promote their sobriety requires very careful planning and deliberation. They need to be approached as an adjunct to therapy and/or spiritual growth. The planning and the mind set you go into the session with is much more significant regarding ones wellbeing for those in recovery than those using entheogens prior to experiencing significant loss, trauma or addiction.

To address Priests point, abstinence is not necessarily sobriety, especially with feelings of alienation or loss that have lasted years into abstinence. Entheogens are no panacea to spiritual distress and feelings of dis-ease with one's life and progress in recovery.

Entheogens represent no magic bullet, but they are a very powerful tool that people would be well to consider. They just need to be careful to consider their use along with other options, and should ideally try other avenues like motivation interviewing, EMDR, DBT, individual therapy and a mindfulness practices.

I was actually talking to someone in class this morning who goto sober 30 years ago through the 12 Step community, but who 20 years into it was still miserable, until she discovered mindfulness. So there are lots of other valuable resources to promote wellbeing in your recovery. Just because there are potential side effects of entheogens does not mean that there are not even more significant gains to be had from their responsible, therapeutic use though. There are lots of potential harms associated with having a shit therapist too.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
PriestTheyCalledHim said:
If you're really actually sober you'll abstain from all drugs including psychedelics and cannabis, not just some drugs.

The point of being sober is to stop using all drugs/chemicals including ones like psychedelics, cannabis, Kratom, etc. and to live your life without them and the other drugs you have addictions to.

You have almost 4 years of complete sobriety based on what you wrote. A lot of people here, and who are addicts in the throes of addiction would love to be in your situation.

Don't throw away all your hard work just to trip on psychedelic drugs.

If you want to learn about yourself and grow spiritually get into meditation and even yoga. Good luck.
Click to expand...

Yes, for almost 4 years now I haven't touched a drop of alcohol or drug (since 17th November 2013 which was my first day of 0mg off my subutex taper).

The only things I have now and again are tobbaco, coffee and very occasionaly valerian root extract.

Thats the thing, I dont want to feel like im 'throwing away' by using something like mushrooms, but to go into it with the approach of connecting with nature and myself. by making it a ritualistic process, not a 'lets get fucked up' type of mentality.

I do find meditation and yoga to be useful, perhaps I need to pursue it more.
 
Last edited:
Life is about growth,drugs will always be around,try something you have done,start a bucket list.
 
toothpastedog said:
Why is it that you want to work with entheogens OP? What is it that you intend or hope to gain from the experience?

Entheogens can be a very powerful tool promoting long term recovery and authentic self determination. However, their use for someone hoping to promote their sobriety requires very careful planning and deliberation. They need to be approached as an adjunct to therapy and/or spiritual growth. The planning and the mind set you go into the session with is much more significant regarding ones wellbeing for those in recovery than those using entheogens prior to experiencing significant loss, trauma or addiction.

To address Priests point, abstinence is not necessarily sobriety, especially with feelings of alienation or loss that have lasted years into abstinence. Entheogens are no panacea to spiritual distress and feelings of dis-ease with one's life and progress in recovery.

Entheogens represent no magic bullet, but they are a very powerful tool that people would be well to consider. They just need to be careful to consider their use along with other options, and should ideally try other avenues like motivation interviewing, EMDR, DBT, individual therapy and a mindfulness practices.

I was actually talking to someone in class this morning who goto sober 30 years ago through the 12 Step community, but who 20 years into it was still miserable, until she discovered mindfulness. So there are lots of other valuable resources to promote wellbeing in your recovery. Just because there are potential side effects of entheogens does not mean that there are not even more significant gains to be had from their responsible, therapeutic use though. There are lots of potential harms associated with having a shit therapist too.
Click to expand...

Like I mentioned it would be a ritual, I dont think taking it indoors in my house would even be right. It would have to be carefully planned like you said, perhaps a setting out in nature while camping would be ideal.

I want to stress the fact that I really am quite content with my life at the moment, of course there are certain things I would like to change, but that change will come with time. I would not be taking a psychadelic to change or escape from anything, but to feel connected again, just like you do when in the midst of meditating or staring at a waterfall. I have always felt like, tripping on mushrooms once a year could be a healthy and positive experience.

@Captain.Heroin - I wouldn't consider taking any man-made chemicals, it would go against everything for me now. Its important for me, in principal that the psychadelic being consumed is naturally grown. Also I wouldnt see any benefit in taking drugs such as ketamine or pcp, I have done them, in endless amounts and have never had a positive impact from them, only confusion.


To be honest psilocybin and DMT are the only ones I would consider (and have experience with)
 
Absoluty that is the way to become one with nature and enjoy it,I'm hoping to reach that point also,getting High on Life. Sky diving High!
 
Still seems hard to be able to find someone with experience after multiple years sober, who could give some insight on this.
 
I have to admit, I'm still a tad confused about what it is you're looking for in hearing from someone who has a few years of sobriety and used entheogens. Look into Garbor Maté's writing on ayahuasca, that might give you some of the feedback you're interested in.
 
toothpastedog said:
I have to admit, I'm still a tad confused about what it is you're looking for in hearing from someone who has a few years of sobriety and used entheogens. Look into Garbor Maté's writing on ayahuasca, that might give you some of the feedback you're interested in.
Click to expand...

I guess its just wanting to reasure myself further by hearing from people who have the experience. It would be nice to see that it is possible, im positive that it is.

I will definatley look into Garbor's writing, thanks.
 
Just don't. You really are running the risk of relapse to the drugs you have an addiction to, and other drugs that you never were addicted to.

Some people do get sort of addicted to psychedelics or abuse them to the excess. Or tripping or smoking weed makes them believe that they can use drugs recreationally or normally, or the way they used to and then they use the drugs that they're addicted to or other ones and relapse. I have literally seen this happen with an extremely large number of addicts that I have worked with and known personally.

If you live in the Western world unless you go to countries where native or indigenous people there actually do have ceremonies where they use these plant mixtures and fungi, and are a part of their culture and are raised in it you're not actually going to have a ritual, spiritual experience, or really learn anything from it.

Ibogaine is not some miracle cure all wonder drug. I personally know people who used it to try to get off of heroin and other opiates and they eventually relapsed and were worse into the heroin and opiates than they were before. Some got into smoking crack and became addicted to that as well as the heroin and opiates.

Ayahuasca is not something to just play with or take. Mushrooms are not either. As you posted, yes you would be throwing it all away by tripping.

People are supposed to move on from Psychedelics, and not continually use them or abuse them.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top