Almost 23 and have never gotten laid

[treezy z]

Ladies and their smartphones. Photography used to be an art, capturing something great at just the right moment too. Now all we have is a constant stream of selfies in club toilets and other moments that aren't actually worth capturing at all. /endrant

Yes. I think men are mostly to blame though for clicking like on these stupid photos. I never like girls stuff on facebook ever, I only go on 5 minutes a day at most anyway to check messages (useless degenerate website.)

 

[Raasyvibe]

ultimately i need to settle for one person, I just don't want do that to soon.

Problem is, if that one person is really the right person she wouldn't care how many other girls you slept with or how many your neighbour has slept with, or how big your nose is, or your ears or whatever insecurity currently ails you.

You've done the weak thing, by losing your virginity to someone you didn't even know or had feelings for just so you can be like everyone else. And have perhaps ruined something that could have been special in the future. But if it makes you feel any better, 99% others would have done the same.

 

[F.U.B.A.R.]

Actually, the correct title should be:
"Almost 23 and have never been laid".

Fuckin 'ell...

 

[jr6654]

You've done the weak thing, by losing your virginity to someone you didn't even know or had feelings for just so you can be like everyone else. And have perhaps ruined something that could have been special in the future.

Hey thanks, that makes me feel great!

 

[F.U.B.A.R.]

Hey thanks, that makes me feel great!

Don't listen him man, just correct the thread title FFS...

 

[jr6654]

Don't listen him man, just correct the thread title FFS...

Done, but to the matter at hand..

There were two options I was faced with. One, remain a rather naive, frustrated, borderline suicidal individual probably looking at sex, women and relationships from the wrong angle, and two, dabble just a bit in the field to see what it was like and possibly learn the lesson I needed to.

I've learned it.

I will never be a player, a manwhore, a fuckboy, or anything of that description because even from this I can tell that I need to have a relationship or a connection with the person. Thanks for shaming me, do you do that to women too? Or do you reserve it for people who already struggle with their own issues and depression?

Now I'm curious how YOU popped your cherry...

 

[jr6654]

I'm trying to be honest, rather than tell you some bullshit to make you feel good. Would you rather I did the latter?

I've been through all your pain and insecurity at that age and can fully empathise with your circumstances. I once walked into a club by myself, popping Viagra, looking for some vulnerable woman to use for sex, just so I could lose the shame and horror that the word "virgin" connotes in this day and age.

I'm not blaming you for what you did. But you need to realise, there's nothing wrong with you and it is the other people that are in the wrong for being mad enough to judge each other on what is meant to be act for bringing a child into the world. Your insecurities beat you this time, I just hope in the future you can recognise that and not let them rule you again.

Then how old are you and how did you first come to have sex? I'm assuming you learned these lessons the hard way.

 

[F.U.B.A.R.]

I'm trying to be honest, rather than tell you some bullshit to make you feel good. Would you rather I did the latter?

I've been through all your pain and insecurity at that age and can fully empathise with your circumstances. I once walked into a club by myself, popping Viagra, looking for some vulnerable woman to use for sex, just so I could lose the shame and horror that the word "virgin" connotes in this day and age.

I'm not blaming you for what you did. But you need to realise, there's nothing wrong with you and it is the other people that are in the wrong for being mad enough to judge each other on what is meant to be act for bringing a child into the world. Your insecurities beat you this time, I just hope in the future you can recognise that and not let them rule you again.

Raas, he's already chucked his muck up some cunt. So it's game over..

 

[Overcoming]

Lad, you are far from being alone. If you want some good advice (it was at one point, i dunnno about now because i dont post), but head over to the forums of No More Mr Nice Guy (NMMNG). If the community is tight, they can help you in loads of ways.

I am 24 and nearly in the same position as well. I just want to say something. I know your pain and how much this plagues you and how you think everybody can tell (even if they can, who gives a fuck), so I do have sympathy..

Two years ago, this was the biggest problem in my life. I hadn't got laid yet! I thought this was tough and that I had major problems.

Two years later, I am in addiction problems, severe mental health problems and struggling to live. Put that in perspective. It's a fucking tiny issue compared to what others have and what could happen to you. Sex is overrated - with that being said, do yourself a favour and don't go down the porn avenue as an alternative outlet. That's what fucked me up (please see my "anti-craving agents" thread in the NAPD section if you are interested).

 

[lovelust]

I stumbled across this thread and decided to leave some female input if thats okay. First off, none of the guys I saw in this thread who posted pics are ugly. You guys are actually on the positive side of the "shallow attractiveness scale". Self confidence is the number one thing. Im tellin ya. Why do girls in general like "bad boys"? Its because they come across SUPER confident. But deep down, every girl wants a "reformed badboy".
As far as sex goes, women will come back in spades if you are selfless in the bedroom and show her you actually care about her pleasure and try. A rule to remember is everything you feel, she will feel. Does it feel nice to be touched and kissed all over and appreciated? If you like getting your chest kissed, ears, thighs, etc sure bet she will love it too. If you make a girl feel appreciated chances are shes going to come back. And for those of you guys that have been with your girl for a while now and have gotten into the "routine" of things, stop and give her one bangin night showing her you still appreciate her, love her body and not just her holes. And if stuff does get too routine break it up randomly. Ive been with my guy for 7 yrs. We dont get to see eachother as much as id like but when I do on the weekends its ME time. He doesn't play videogames, invite his friends over, practice guitar for hours on end, he spends it actually hanging out with me and communicating with me. And honestly, I think its great. Id rather see him less and when I do get to see him its good quality time. As far as sex goes, it sucks we cant do it everyday multiple times a day like when we first started dating but he puts a real effort into keeping things interesting, like dragging me out into the middle of the st nude at 3am and making it happen right there on the double yellow lines lol. My point is if you show her you are putting in effort and care about her she will not be as bothered by other flaws. Women feel lonely, bad, and want to stray when they dont feel like they are getting attention they crave, esp if she's attractive and has to deal with getting catcalled 24/7. Its like "why do all these guys wanna fuck me but the ONE I chose wont even appreciate me...regardless how long weve been together or not".

OP, you were good to shave the stache. Facial hair is a personal preference bit i assure u most chicks dont dig staches. Congrats on losing your virginity but use your future experiences to become comfortable with the female body and yourself so when the right girl comes along you can blow her mind. I swear to god, my guy and I slept with eachother quick after meeting and disconnected for a year when I left town. But one thing that I could never shake, it was burned into my mind so hard was how INCREDIBLE the sex with him was. I thought about it all the time and my gfs and i would girl talk and i could never fully explain how amazing he was. It def left a mark. We eventually reconnected and its like, I'm legit scared that if we ever split up that I'm fucked cuz another guy wouldnt come close to that love and satisfaction. To all guys out there, strive for that. Thats a good thought for you for your gf to have! Lol But it takes work effort and practice. Obv not every time is encore but im never ever dissatisfied. Not once. Even the quickies are like encores. He learned my body, learned me and what I like, and its effortless for him to make me go nuts. In turn I'm more happy, willing and comfortable and enjoy sex. Not ALL women enjoy sex, because they didnt have good experiences physically or emotionally. If your girl is like that then change it.
Good luck to you OP and work and your confidence. Its the #1 thing that'll get u girls. And getting out there, sitting in your house isnt going to help. OH, and dont catcall chicks, we dont like it. We like the attention but if its respectful.

 

[Violetkid]

maybe stop looking at women as purely objects for u to put ur dick in and consider them as humans and potential friends and more might come from that

 

[jr6654]

maybe stop looking at women as purely objects for u to put ur dick in

i don't

 

[gmlifer]

maybe stop looking at women as purely objects for u to put ur dick in and consider them as humans and potential friends and more might come from that

Did you join just to say that?

Personally I know there is more to women than just their holes but let's not forget, those holes are pretty bad ass. If they weren't sex wouldn't sell as well as it does.

 

[Raasyvibe]

maybe stop looking at women as purely objects for u to put ur dick in and consider them as humans and potential friends and more might come from that

That was unnecessary. These problems are very real and very common. Girls can be completely put off, and it can be extremely demoralising, damaging to ones self esteem and leave you feeling like you will never be loved.

Raas, he's already chucked his muck up some cunt. So it's game over..

I think the real problem here is his perception of himself, comparing himself to others and placing his self-worth onto sexual experience. The actual amount of sex he has had is not really the issue, and by trying to have sex to improve his self perception is not going to help him long-term.

I think it's remarkable, that so many people in this day and age don't have sex for it's actual purpose - to make babies - but use it solely as a way to determine their self-esteem and place their pride in. It's a trap many of us fall into and is instilled into your psyche from an early age. Life taught me to respect sex and dissociate from this ridiculous egoism that comes with it so commonly these days. I hope the OP will see this in time.

 

[jr6654]

These problems are very real and very common. Girls can be completely put off by guys who are virgins, and it can be extremely demoralising, damaging to ones self esteem and leave you feeling like you will never be loved.

That was how I felt going into it yes

I think the real problem here is his perception of himself, comparing himself to others and placing his self-worth onto sexual experience. The actual amount of sex he has had is not really the issue, and by trying to have sex to improve his self perception is not going to help him long-term.
I think it's remarkable, that so many people in this day and age don't have sex for it's actual purpose - to make babies - but use it solely as a way to determine their self-esteem and place their pride in. It's a trap many of us fall into and is instilled into your psyche from an early age. Life taught me to respect sex and dissociate from this ridiculous egoism that comes with it so commonly these days. I hope the OP will see this in time.

And rest assured that I already am. The girl i had sex with twice is moving in May and we may only have a couple more encounters. But I see it as less damaging because she is a kind person and sex helps her emotionally, not just to get her kicks off a guy.

To be honest even that is enough for me, I don't want to risk further trivializing the act so now the pressure is gone I am going to work on my life and on the the aspects of me that actually matter, because I'm pretty sure now sheer amount of notches in a bedpost doesn't.

I got lucky, this could have been far worse. Now I seek the emotional and mental as well as a physical connection with a person, and that person is my future girlfriend and wife. I'm not going to fall into the trap of the game and the chase. There is still time to mend and grow.

 

[Raasyvibe]

Excellent post. Im sure good things will come your way if you can keep that attitude.

 

[jr6654]

Excellent post. Im sure good things will come your way if you can keep that attitude.

Thank you and peace

 

[Violetkid]

Did you join just to say that?

Personally I know there is more to women than just their holes but let's not forget, those holes are pretty bad ass. If they weren't sex wouldn't sell as well as it does.

nah just never posted before or anything, their holes are pretty bad ass ill agree, but when it becomes everyones primary focus it can be damaging for all involved. I dont need people to tell me that being a virgin can be damaging to ones self esteem, i know that, but the way OP talks about women in this thread/the general tone about women in this thread is............ disheartening to say the least

 

[Soundx]

Travel might be good for your efforts.

 

[jr6654]

Travel might be good for your efforts.

No argument there. I live in WNY and i can tell you it is SHIT