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Scared All the damage drugs did may kill me.. struggling heavy with physical health

OpiateKiller

OpiateKiller

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 14, 2019
Messages
2,370
Well guys I know everyone knows I went to rehab and am clean again in a sober house. Which is all great news I got great dudes around me with solid amounts of time in recovery.

But let me tell you my health is absolute shit right now.

This is the third day I’ve had the worst headache of my life it’s like my brain is on fire. Usually I can take ibuprofen and poof my headaches go away but this one is different.

I think Im either bleeding in my brain or had a stroke and it’s fucking with me.

Finally got off clonidine thanks to Gabapentin but not before a few seizures and panic attacks..

I keep trying to fix myself with supplements and vitamins and drugs and all the shit I’ve put in my body is finally showing all the fucking damage I really did to myself.

If this headache doesn’t go away by 8 AM I’m going to the hospital. I think it’s my 6th trip this year at 27 years old.

It’s just fucked up mam we think it’s all good it’s not all good the drugs fucked me up good and my only solution to fixing me feeling like I’m dying is more drugs but I can’t do that again.

I’m fucking trapped right now. The people around me don’t get it there clean life is good they don’t have health problems.

Wish me luck I might go to the ER now the pain in my head is legit a 9/10 it’s almost unbearable.

When does the misery end. I can’t do this shit anymore.
 
That night I ended up taking a large dose of a sleeping med, passed out and woke up without the headache. It’s possible I took too large a dose of cialis my friend gave me a capsule of it.

So the headache seems gone mostly but I still think something is wrong inside my head.

Thanks for checking in I don’t think it’s the clonidine I haven’t taken it in over a week now.
M
 
n3ophy7e said:
Oh that would definitely cause a ripper of a headache. How's your head feeling now? It's been over a week, any more headaches?
Click to expand...

The head is good, I do still think I had a minor stroke but I think it’s healing.

I had another episode at work the other day, it’s the weirdest thing but I think it’s related to Kratom and caffeine causing a drastic rise in blood pressure.

My legs stop working and go numb and I basically have a panic attack. It’s the scariest feeling I’ve ever had.

I chewed two Clonidine and it subsided but it scared me enough to flush my Kratom extracts.

It’s like an anxiety thing where if I start to panic it’s gonna happen it does and I spiral. I mean it’s only happened twice but it’s fucking scary man.

Trying to stop fuck with my health. It’s not cool to have these things happening to me.

You don’t realize your health or it’s importance until you jeopardize it. Living like your immortal catches up to you.

@n3ophy7e
 
JuncoPartner said:
Do you start seizing if it gets too far?
Click to expand...

Yes I have been experiencing seizures lately. I got them coming off of clonidine.

The fentanyl mix I was doing was laced with Tramadol. My friend seizes just kicking it and this time I did too.

I was shooting grams of Tramadol laced dope. It’s fucked up there cutting it with it.

I’m hoping the seizures are gone

Also the stroke injury can cause seizures so really I have no idea what caused them. I’ve never detoxed enough benzos or alcohol to seize however one time I felt very close. Kicking a diazepam habit
 
Hey @OpiateKiller I hope you are doing ok. I just want to say I have felt like you describe many times over 30 years of drug use.

I have gone to the doctor or hospital numerous times - especially after passing out and when going through withdrawal/comedown - believing that I had had a stroke, or developed clots, or even had heart failure. But everytime all the scans came back A-OK and apart from hypertension which is as much to do with age and weight as anything else I’ve quickly gotten better.

It’s worth getting the tests for peace of mind. But rest assured, as you heal the symptoms will gradually clear up in most things.
 
Perforated said:
Hey @OpiateKiller I hope you are doing ok. I just want to say I have felt like you describe many times over 30 years of drug use.

I have gone to the doctor or hospital numerous times - especially after passing out and when going through withdrawal/comedown - believing that I had had a stroke, or developed clots, or even had heart failure. But everytime all the scans came back A-OK and apart from hypertension which is as much to do with age and weight as anything else I’ve quickly gotten better.

It’s worth getting the tests for peace of mind. But rest assured, as you heal the symptoms will gradually clear up in most things.
Click to expand...

Thank you.

You’ve had your legs gone numb? It’s literally the scariest thing I’ve ever experienced. To suddenly be unable to walk..

I really hope it goes away. It is scaring the living shit out of me.

I don’t even know what id tell or ask the doctors to test for. I already feel like I can’t talk to them about anything health related.
 
@OpiateKiller , HAPPY AND HEALTHY NEW YEAR :good vibes:
Sounds like you are doing a great job on getting clean and your body and health back on the straight and narrow!
As we say around here we did not get this far in the woods overnight, and we will not get out either that quickly.
Please drink as much water as you can, and Move a muscle change a thought are two of the most helpful recovery tools a human can do for there body and mind
 
OpiateKiller said:
Thank you.

You’ve had your legs gone numb? It’s literally the scariest thing I’ve ever experienced. To suddenly be unable to walk..

I really hope it goes away. It is scaring the living shit out of me.

I don’t even know what id tell or ask the doctors to test for. I already feel like I can’t talk to them about anything health related.
Click to expand...
Hey friend...If you're experiencing periodic sudden inability to walk/legs gone numb, I suggest you start going for daily (long) walks. Longer each day. What could possibly put your mind at ease better than using your legs under demand? Walk until it hurts. Push yourself. Your health will improve more rapidly...probably 3 x quicker, you'll sleep much better. In my experience, during long walks anxiety shrinks down to manageable levels. Bike riding should work well too. Needless to say, Drink lots of water. Stay hydrated.
You'll get through this. If I could, I'd walk with you.
 
Iceman1216 said:
@OpiateKiller , HAPPY AND HEALTHY NEW YEAR :good vibes:
Sounds like you are doing a great job on getting clean and your body and health back on the straight and narrow!
As we say around here we did not get this far in the woods overnight, and we will not get out either that quickly.
Please drink as much water as you can, and Move a muscle change a thought are two of the most helpful recovery tools a human can do for there body and mind
Click to expand...

Derschieber said:
Hey friend...If you're experiencing periodic sudden inability to walk/legs gone numb, I suggest you start going for daily (long) walks. Longer each day. What could possibly put your mind at ease better than using your legs under demand? Walk until it hurts. Push yourself. Your health will improve more rapidly...probably 3 x quicker, you'll sleep much better. In my experience, during long walks anxiety shrinks down to manageable levels. Bike riding should work well too. Needless to say, Drink lots of water. Stay hydrated.
You'll get through this. If I could, I'd walk with you.
Click to expand...
@Perforated

Thank you guys. Seriously God bless all of you. Your words mean more than you know. I will get through this and be better and stronger.
 
OpiateKiller said:
The head is good, I do still think I had a minor stroke but I think it’s healing.

I had another episode at work the other day, it’s the weirdest thing but I think it’s related to Kratom and caffeine causing a drastic rise in blood pressure.

My legs stop working and go numb and I basically have a panic attack. It’s the scariest feeling I’ve ever had.

I chewed two Clonidine and it subsided but it scared me enough to flush my Kratom extracts.

It’s like an anxiety thing where if I start to panic it’s gonna happen it does and I spiral. I mean it’s only happened twice but it’s fucking scary man.

Trying to stop fuck with my health. It’s not cool to have these things happening to me.

You don’t realize your health or it’s importance until you jeopardize it. Living like your immortal catches up to you.

@n3ophy7e
Click to expand...
Kratom has alkaloids similar to caffeine that can cause high blood pressure
 
polarthedog said:
Kratom has alkaloids similar to caffeine that can cause high blood pressure
Click to expand...

kratom is known to actually have a hypotensive effect, it lowers blood pressure if anything

and it's stimulation is diffferent mechanism to caffeine

they are only related by genus, same plant family, but very different alkaloids
 
Negentropic said:
kratom is known to actually have a hypotensive effect, it lowers blood pressure if anything

and it's stimulation is diffferent mechanism to caffeine

they are only related by genus, same plant family, but very different alkaloids
Click to expand...
Really? I’ve had shakes and stuff from high doses of it, maybe I’m having a paradoxical reaction, but I find if I mix clonidine with it, it gets rid of all that
 
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