~~all that is left ~~

[cherub]

I been locked in the house for days
not accepting phone calls, not accepting life
trying to figure out, why
the one last blow they could take on me
they did

No drugs, no alochol to dull the pain
just this paper I am looking at
just a simple song to remind me
and tears that can't seem to stop

I worried this day would come
I guess I expected it different
a call, a letter. some kind of acknowledgement
but nothing

I can't explain why I checked
but when her pictured showed up
my heart stopped, the tears came
the scream of NOOOOOOOOOOOO came out of my throat

I felt so wronged, I felt cheated
One chance to say goodbye
they fucked me,, one last fuck you
how horrible can they possibly be

Yeah i took off so they couldn't continue to hurt me
She knew it, she told me to go and live
not worry about the decisions i make
by their judgements, their looks
acting as if they were better then me

she told me I was the better one,
I was the one that was strong
they were weak, they only knew to strike me to get back

now they have for the final time

She told me the day I left
I was better, I had more heart, more ambition
then all of them.
She was sorry, sorry that she couldn't change it
with tears in my eyes, I told her she should never be sorry

Now she is gone
no word, no letter
just an obituary ad,
I found 2 days ago
published over a month ago
now is all that i have left

So today christmas is all i can do it cry
not understand what i did they could be so cruel
not understand why they would take away my last chance to say goodbye
not able to forgive this time

I can't let them ever hurt me again
it is done it is over

goodbye grandma

 

[euphoria]

letting go of people is hard when you didnt even get to say goodbye
alli can say to you is that time is the only way to heal it.