One eye open, slowly
Half-blinded by the morning sun
2 curious cats eyes peering at me intently
As if to say
"When are u going to feed us?"
The shrillness of a phone ringing
Somewhere near my head
The machine picks up,
probably another creditor who wants money
that i dont have.
Go away, all of you.
The need to just pick up leave,
not knowing where today will take me
except far from this place,
this apartment with its peeling wallpaper
and chipped hardwood floors
this city with its obnoxious children
and unclassy, uncaring neighbors
who take up too many parking spots
and litter your lawn with their cigarettes
oh, what lawn?
that sorry square of almost-green grass
entangled with weeds and overgrown hedges?
i'd rather tan on my leaking roof, thank you.
what's it like to wake up one day
and not be late for a job that you hate
where people criticize everything you take pride in
and the work just never gets done
what's it feel like to not have a thousand things that need to be done,
with 3 hours too few
and on a quarter tank of gas
wearing 2 mismatched socks
becuase you just dont have time to sort the laundry
and the bills dont get paid again this month,
because it was either have heat or have health insurance,
and both are up for grabs right now,
because you cant remember the last time you ate
and you dont know if the twisting knots in your stomach
are from hunger, or hatred
for that bastard that bumped you out of your shift when you were late for work
and then there's that aching emptiness
that you've gotten so used to
when you come home and there's no one there
to talk to
and even the cats dont want anything to do with you
and the guy who means everything to you
is late for the only dinner you didnt burn
but what does it matter
its only a matter of time before he leaves to
because Florida is waiting,
and he is not.
why the inevitable feeling of guilt after eating ANYTHING,
anything of real substance
anything other than those stupid gray pills
that control my life
that eat at my insides
and make my hands shake
what's so great about fitting in that pair of pants
that i really shouldn't have even spent my money on in the first place?
who will it matter to,
where will it be documented
in my daily logs with all the other work
that i struggled to complete
that just got bashed anyway
and went unpaid for?
all in a day's work...
sometimes i just want to close my eyes
and let it all disappear
but the alarm is unforgiving
the day with all its miseries must go on
the heartaches and headaches must be confronted
and well documented
and time never slows
for the girl who just doesnt care anymore.
Half-blinded by the morning sun
2 curious cats eyes peering at me intently
As if to say
"When are u going to feed us?"
The shrillness of a phone ringing
Somewhere near my head
The machine picks up,
probably another creditor who wants money
that i dont have.
Go away, all of you.
The need to just pick up leave,
not knowing where today will take me
except far from this place,
this apartment with its peeling wallpaper
and chipped hardwood floors
this city with its obnoxious children
and unclassy, uncaring neighbors
who take up too many parking spots
and litter your lawn with their cigarettes
oh, what lawn?
that sorry square of almost-green grass
entangled with weeds and overgrown hedges?
i'd rather tan on my leaking roof, thank you.
what's it like to wake up one day
and not be late for a job that you hate
where people criticize everything you take pride in
and the work just never gets done
what's it feel like to not have a thousand things that need to be done,
with 3 hours too few
and on a quarter tank of gas
wearing 2 mismatched socks
becuase you just dont have time to sort the laundry
and the bills dont get paid again this month,
because it was either have heat or have health insurance,
and both are up for grabs right now,
because you cant remember the last time you ate
and you dont know if the twisting knots in your stomach
are from hunger, or hatred
for that bastard that bumped you out of your shift when you were late for work
and then there's that aching emptiness
that you've gotten so used to
when you come home and there's no one there
to talk to
and even the cats dont want anything to do with you
and the guy who means everything to you
is late for the only dinner you didnt burn
but what does it matter
its only a matter of time before he leaves to
because Florida is waiting,
and he is not.
why the inevitable feeling of guilt after eating ANYTHING,
anything of real substance
anything other than those stupid gray pills
that control my life
that eat at my insides
and make my hands shake
what's so great about fitting in that pair of pants
that i really shouldn't have even spent my money on in the first place?
who will it matter to,
where will it be documented
in my daily logs with all the other work
that i struggled to complete
that just got bashed anyway
and went unpaid for?
all in a day's work...
sometimes i just want to close my eyes
and let it all disappear
but the alarm is unforgiving
the day with all its miseries must go on
the heartaches and headaches must be confronted
and well documented
and time never slows
for the girl who just doesnt care anymore.
