Look, I'ma say it like this. Please forgive me in advance I don't mean this offensively. But what good are you to your son if your mind is consumed by drug addiction. My mom was the same way, for years she chose to escape the things that happened to her and I. She was a fraction of the person she is today, that being said I'm an poly addict as well, I understand what its like to want to reach out to drugs in attempt to have some peace in life. I will say short of everyone but your son. You should seriously think about cutting them off. Sometimes obstacles are placed in our lives.. that carry an emotional attachment along with a drug attachment. Your job, isn't to help your friend. Sad to say, but her phobias are her own issues.. and you need not feel guilty for taking time for yourself to get yourself right. I'm no doctor, I'm coming from an experience that has made me distrust all doctors...I will say, I know we all have our own beliefs systems and I'm not saying yours is wrong. Although, when you follow something as blanketed as astrology it will lead you into places that allow you to enable yourself to do things. I'm supposedly a Virgo, but I try not to let that have a bearing on who I am as a person... You are your own person, try to give that some thought. At the end of the day, some of your choices may align with what your horoscope is telling you. But your not a one size fits all, your unique, and you seem to care about getting sober for the right reasons. That being said, its harder then it seems. Try to take one day at a time, and every victory is a small victory even if its saying no to just one percocet or whatever your DOC is. Don't look at things from a doomed perspective, imagine the fight already being won! You are a winner and you wouldn't be here if your soul, wasn't searching for a better alternative. Remember one day at a time. I'll be praying for you and check back in with you periodically. I hope you do the same.