All alone

[Obsess&Excess]

I feel like I'm all alone in the universe. I have a husband who hates me, I'm signed off from work for depression/stress....have just started secretly taking drugs again and fuuuuuucccck. Not slept or eaten for far too long. I hate me so much. I'm so sorry for everything I've done wrong.
I expect this post will be deleted but even if it is at least I'll know someone, somewhere will have known how I was feeling at these final moments.

I'm sorry, I'm even more of a let down. Can't bring myself to kill myself. How pathetic is that????? I'll let blood discreetly then hubby can't shout at me for it oh god yess

 

[DOB]

1. dont take drugs
2. sleep
3. eat like athlete,all about nutrition
4. go lift some weights,i said weights not cardio
5. fap
6. divorce

 

[psychlopath]

yeah umm... ive known people in your situation before... not much anyone can do for you... you should probably check yourself into a mental institution. they will put you through therapy ect. then you can have the right meds and a clear and firm decision on what to do next in your life.

 

[Bearlove]

A lot of people have gone through a similar thing - depression and the rut that you can yourself in before diagnosis and for a long time during recovery is not an easy process.

Break it down into smaller goals for yourself - get your eating and sleeping cycle sorted out, then take it from there.

Lots of threads around the place where your more than welcome to join in the discussions, have a moan, share your story etc. Your not alone now you have found Bluelight .

 

[ad lib]

What's going on with you and your husband?

 

[herbavore]

Everyone needs a sense of being loved and of being accepted and when it isn't there we turn on ourselves and those around us, deepening the cycle. You can't heal emotional trauma living with someone that yells at you. I think the best thing you could do for yourself right now is to call for outside help. By that I mean counseling, maybe rehab and counseling. What do you think?

 

[Lutopia]

Lutopia- I feel yr pain you're not alone although I know u feel it. This USA test!

Although I know you feel like it . I have been where u r. First let me say God bless you . For right now just chg your position if you're standing sit down, if you're. Inside go outside. Change something. Change everything . Change just one thing. And you'll begin to"see" an answer am opening, a way away that will be more comfortable for you. He has a plan for you and me. If you don't believe just believe that I believe. Something's going to be different for you. Lutopia

 

[DCypha]

Stay strong. It takes more courage not to kill yourself than it is to. You are not a let down. Be positive. I know its harder said and done but trust me, I've been through the same stuff as you have. It does get better.