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Alienation of affection

P A said:
I think she considers any 'opinion' other than, "I would do x, y, or z if my cheating spouse and I obtained a divorce," to be off limits. So much for a discussion.

Why is Legal closed, anyway? What a shame...
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I checked for Legal first as a matter of fact. Nothing is off limits. I will continue to tell you that you are the one arguing opinions here. I have yet to do that and truly appreciate differing opinions on the question at hand, hence asking it. But you keep deferring from the subject and continue a personal opinion debate. I will continue to call out your asinine commentary as being such and it has NOTHING to do with agreeing with me on suing a homewrecker. You sound somewhat intelligent yet you are having a really hard time sinking in fact v opinion and relevance of content.
 
Seeing "PA" or "Rangrz" before my sentence should be sufficient to deferentiate between the party I'm addressing
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Lol, but that's just it - reposting content at least creates the illusion that you've comprehended what was written. Instead, you appear to be ignoring large swaths of written material anticipating your reactions, and then reacting in just the way that was anticipated. This creates more, not less, exhaustion, eyesore, etc. in the long run. Again, I'm perfectly aware of your disinterest in the social implications of your chosen thread topic (as I've repeated twice).

I will continue to call out your asinine commentary as being such and it has NOTHING to do with agreeing with me on suing a homewrecker. You sound somewhat intelligent yet you are having a really hard time sinking in fact v opinion and relevance of content.
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cf. my many treatments of 'relevance' in this thread. Also see above re. reading comprehension and the helpfulness of direct quotes.

And anyway, are you seriously of the opinion that commenting on the absurdity of a particular subsection of civil law in a thread about civil lawsuits is 'asinine' and 'irrelevant?' If so, I suppose we have very different ideas re. proper context and the concept of 'relevance.'
 
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without ""
It isn`t always the husband that cheats.

Historically, (no, not always) the man in the divorce gets the shaft regardless of circumstance.

Why should you or I profit because their spouse was retarded?

Kids can recover from divorces better if there isn`t a bitter law suit and bickering.
 
I will continue to call out your asinine commentary as being such and it has NOTHING to do with agreeing with me on suing a homewrecker.
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Loaded language huh? How about if we rephrase that as "Abusing the legal process to extort money from a discontented spouse"

You sound somewhat intelligent yet you are having a really hard time sinking in fact v opinion and relevance of content.
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Again, since you seem to not want opinion, why do you not just post the transcript of the proceedings, and then we'll have all the fact and we'll have no more need for any posts.
 
Why should you or I profit because their spouse was retarded?
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This. The concept of spousal revenge, while understandably appealing 'in the moment' seems more than a little petty and vicious to a dispassionate observer, hence my generalized objections upthread. I have not ever been (and hopefully will never be) married, but I imagine that if I were in a similar set of circumstances, I would simply want out. Period. Like, as in, I would never wish to come into any protracted personal contact with either individual, regardless of how much money I could make or suffering I could cause. But it's hard for me to say with any degree of certainty - maybe I'd go all homicidal, for all I know.

"Abusing the legal process to extort money from a discontented spouse"
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Oh, but that's an opinion, rangrz! Off-topic alert! 8)
 
*samsonite* said:
I completely agree with you here. Most married men do lie about their relationship status when approaching women in public IME. As far as seeking more than alimony, I was married to someone where fidelity was an issue. I have children with the man so my opinion is a bit jaded
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Ah, ok. I totally understand then. I admit that I have/was angry as hell and I wanted to see the other person suffer. I was so incredibly hurt. I totally get the anger. I really do. I just hate feeling that way, so after a few days of screaming and doing stupid shit like texting him that he's a cunt and I hope he dies (LOL), I turn to "OK, how the fuck can I stop feeling like this???" I really hate that feeling and I have tendencies to try to block it out and do something to get my mind off of it. I don't think I have the energy to drag it on.

Still though, I can understand having kids with someone and then they ruin it totally because they can't keep it in their pants.

You have to remember that it's hard to express what you've been through on a forum, and I think unless you've been in a person's shoes, you just don't understand especially on a forum. :)
 
P A said:
And anyway, are you seriously of the opinion that commenting on the absurdity of a particular subsection of civil law in a thread about civil lawsuits is 'asinine' and 'irrelevant?' If so, I suppose we have very different ideas re. proper context and the concept of 'relevance.'
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Sweet Jesus you are dense. Let me spell this out for you again. Try to follow along... Arguing with ME about subsections of civil law is 'asinine' and 'irrelevant' as I do not give two shits about what you think of other laws. The only opinion I care about is that of THIS specific civil suit. And at this point, I dont give two shits about your opinion on that either. Congrats for swaying me on something! :)
 
Try to follow along... Arguing with ME about subsections of civil law is 'asinine' and 'irrelevant' as I do not give two shits about what you think of other laws. The only opinion I care about is that of THIS specific civil suit.
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Well THIS specific kind of suit is the one with which rangrz and myself were principally concerned. And, for the fourth time, your indifference to said topic is duly noted.
 
Lysis said:
Ah, ok. I totally understand then. I admit that I have/was angry as hell and I wanted to see the other person suffer. I was so incredibly hurt. I totally get the anger. I really do. I just hate feeling that way, so after a few days of screaming and doing stupid shit like texting him that he's a cunt and I hope he dies (LOL), I turn to "OK, how the fuck can I stop feeling like this???" I really hate that feeling and I have tendencies to try to block it out and do something to get my mind off of it. I don't think I have the energy to drag it on.

Still though, I can understand having kids with someone and then they ruin it totally because they can't keep it in their pants.

You have to remember that it's hard to express what you've been through on a forum, and I think unless you've been in a person's shoes, you just don't understand especially on a forum. :)
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AGREED! :D Hence my insistence on addressing "certain people" that continue to take things out of context and drag on irrelevant debate about opinions. I think this lawsuit is fascinating. I would actually be interested in hearing a mistress charged with this respond with their POV.
 
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iheartthisthread said:
without ""
It isn`t always the husband that cheats.

Historically, (no, not always) the man in the divorce gets the shaft regardless of circumstance.

Why should you or I profit because their spouse was retarded?

Kids can recover from divorces better if there isn`t a bitter law suit and bickering.
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I agree with you regarding things being easier when amicable. Absolutely. I wish this were the case more often. But this scenario was not an amicable split. Kids can recover from a divorce. True. But it's tragic that they're forced to lose a Mother-Father household in this case due to a selfish choice on the Father's end. If a spouse is unhappy and doesn't wish for "bitter lawsuits and bickering" then they should leave amicably by being honest with their spouse about their feelings and filing for divorce FIRST. Man or woman. Not fucking other people while sleeping in a marital bed with their spouse. My kids can't sue their father and mistress for emotional distress but in my opinion should be able to. Being a mother, I don't see it as suing for personal profit. I see it as seeking retribution for their loss under horrid and self-serving conditions. But as I said, my opinion is biased and jaded bc I am speaking from experience. I would never even bother if kids weren't involved. Then it's just petty and vengeful, IMO anyway. Unless the spouse was seriously manipulated or taken advantage of. I dunno...

Disclaimer: when I say he, his, father, etc, I'm referring to the big $9 mill suit and my experience. Pardon any offense, as it is not meant as an over-generalization.
 
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Leave first- Totally agree..
Being a mother- I`m a dad. What`s your point?
Retribution= I`ll show YOU!!

I am totally not going to argue with you. I see women (typically the care provider for the children) trying to provide for them. Hell, who doesn`t want to provide for their kids, right? It just seems as if taking this to court is a touch over kill. Who really wins when everyone is losing?
 
"What is my point?" No point dear. Background on my situation and basis for my opinion on the matter. Not a dick measuring contest.

I refrained from details earlier (possibly incriminating) but here is the nitty gritty and maybe this will help you understand. Not that I'm challenging your own thoughts on it.

Two of our children are special needs and we were less than 40 days out from finalizing the adoption. He was having an affair with a woman who was a friend of ours' wife so she obviously knew about our kids and marriage. I was a devoted housewife and completely dependent on him as I sacrificed my education and career for yrs to care for our special needs kids. He abandoned us and flat out told me "I talked to an attorney and I'm not going thru with the adoption bc I'm not paying your ass child support for the next 15 yrs." He said he wanted visitation but would not adopt so he could avoid the financial obligation. I was refused alimony based on my age (able to work) and amount of yrs married, but after he told the judge his plan with the kids the judge gave me as much as he could--1 yr of $200 payments (which he never paid). So he abandoned me and our kids, did it before the adoption to avoid support, didn't have to pay alimony, and ran off with our friend. If my state supported Alienation of Affection then I would've gone after their asses so I wouldn't have had to adopt 2 special needs kids without a dime to my name, while moving in with my parents pregnant, and would have money today toward our son's 40k medical bills. Also would like to add that the adopted children were HIS neice and nephew that we took in bc their parents were drug addicts and serving time for child abuse against my son. I have been thru shit straight out of a book. I am not looking to "profit", "win", and certainly don't see it as overkill in MY situation. And I cant be the only one to experience this. But hey, everyone is entitled to their opinion, right?!

Edit:s ^Is my experience and background for my opinion. I am grateful that court systems give us an avenue for taking up grievances (justified or not) and allow us to seek justice outside of the streets. My story did not end there. I do not allow him access to any of our children. They don't even remember who he is in fact. I now live in a 2800 sq ft house while I heard that he and the misses turned into h junkies, living on the streets. While I wouldn't wish that on anyone, karma is a bitch people. If you can't get justice from worldly avenues, it will happen eventually. It just takes a bit longer.
 
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god damn...
I typed a reply... My phone sucks... Fml


*Edit.... OK like 8 of them...

Ok so you got a raw deal... That really DOES suck... I can`t take that away from you, and I definately am not making light of the situation you were in. It sounds as though you were fortunate enough to have some family support system to fall back on.

How long ago was this? How were you guys at communicating? Talking about it WITH each other or talking AT each other... What state of mind was he in when you guys talked about adopting his sisters kids? Did you know at the time of the split that your child was special needs? ( you were pregnant )

The same basic principal still applys imho. YES, he left you in dire financal straits.
YES, he wasn`t a model husband.
NO, you didn`t deserve it.
NO, what he did wasn`t right.

But-
Is it really the other cheater that should be responsible for you and your children financially? My thought is no.

I also believe there should be some way to recoup the financial losses someone gets hit with during a breakup. Here, as far as alimony is concerned, none is required if married less than 9 years. After 9 years, you get it for half the time you were married. For example if you were married 10 years you`d get it for 5 years. After 20 years the half thing dissappears. You get it for damn ever. All this can be changed if agreed upon or by how the judge is feeling.

My lawyer told me this at our very first meeting. He said, "If you both come out of this feeling like you got screwed, then the system worked". What he was getting at was that we were both going to feel like we could have gotten a better deal or whatever. I got shafted, I know I did. But fighting for nearly 20 years as we did, I had no fight in me. All I wanted was out. Material things that I lost, I bought again or am still doing without. It just doesn`t matter. It really doesn`t. It`s all just stuff. MY life is good. Suing the guy she fucked one night wouldn`t make my life one bit better. It really wouldn`t. I am only telling you about my experiance because it shows this mans point of view.

Now, I won`t make assumptions about property or bank statements... But if someone were in say, a half a million dollar house, why should they stay there if they can`t afford it. Sell and down size until you can afford to live. Same goes for other material things. If a kid can get by with $20 sneakers and $20 dollars is what you have, don`t think they need $100 sneakers just because they had them before. Life is hard sometimes, but a kid will understand.

Sometimes it the adults that have a harder time to adjust. I`ve learned from an early age if you want something, you`re going to have to work towards that end. It`s just basic economics.

People just have to get over the "I worked my whole life for this" or "I gave you the best years of my life" or "I sacrificed x so WE could y".... Or whatever it is they say... It is done. Move on from it. Yes it hurt, sure it wasn`t fun but you will survive it. It`s just part of your life... Don`t let it define who you are. I mean you don`t let something like a vacation define you right? Why let something that was bad take away from who you are.

It`s just life. Live it.

/ rant.
 
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*samsonite* said:
"What is my point?" No point dear. Background on my situation and basis for my opinion on the matter. Not a dick measuring contest.

I refrained from details earlier (possibly incriminating) but here is the nitty gritty and maybe this will help you understand. Not that I'm challenging your own thoughts on it.

Two of our children are special needs and we were less than 40 days out from finalizing the adoption. He was having an affair with a woman who was a friend of ours' wife so she obviously knew about our kids and marriage. I was a devoted housewife and completely dependent on him as I sacrificed my education and career for yrs to care for our special needs kids. He abandoned us and flat out told me "I talked to an attorney and I'm not going thru with the adoption bc I'm not paying your ass child support for the next 15 yrs." He said he wanted visitation but would not adopt so he could avoid the financial obligation. I was refused alimony based on my age (able to work) and amount of yrs married, but after he told the judge his plan with the kids the judge gave me as much as he could--1 yr of $200 payments (which he never paid). So he abandoned me and our kids, did it before the adoption to avoid support, didn't have to pay alimony, and ran off with our friend. If my state supported Alienation of Affection then I would've gone after their asses so I wouldn't have had to adopt 2 special needs kids without a dime to my name, while moving in with my parents pregnant, and would have money today toward our son's 40k medical bills. Also would like to add that the adopted children were HIS neice and nephew that we took in bc their parents were drug addicts and serving time for child abuse against my son. I have been thru shit straight out of a book. I am not looking to "profit", "win", and certainly don't see it as overkill in MY situation. And I cant be the only one to experience this. But hey, everyone is entitled to their opinion, right?!
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Wow, I can't blame you for being pissed at all. What a douchebag. I'm sorry. <3
 
*samsonite* said:
Sweet Jesus you are dense. Let me spell this out for you again. Try to follow along... Arguing with ME about subsections of civil law is 'asinine' and 'irrelevant' as I do not give two shits about what you think of other laws. The only opinion I care about is that of THIS specific civil suit. And at this point, I dont give two shits about your opinion on that either. Congrats for swaying me on something! :)
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No. P.A. is not dense. You, Ma'am are FUCKING dense. I can't even describe how dense you are. That is, current theories break down beyond a certain point of density. (Which is to say, General Relativity predicts that beyond the density of about 5.9x1017kg per M3 it collapses in on it self to form a singularity) It is thus normally meaningless to discuss density above this point, yet I think when discussing your skull, an exception should be made.

In fact, thank you posting, I am going to write a journal article about density beyond the Chandrasekhar Limit and win a fucking Nobel Prize in physics for it, using this thread as my experimental evidence to show that such objects (that's right, I am objectifying you, bitch) actually make physical sense and can exist.

I hope the metaphorical references here did not exceed your feeble mental capacity to understand.

Okay, douchbaggery aside, I am sorry you had such a dickhead of a husband and I do understand your anger. However, please understand that even if you personally are not interested in the discussion and opinions that me and P.A. and others in this thread had, that bluelight and threads on it, even if posted by one person, is intended for the entire userbase of the website, and as such, we where discussing the topic of the thread and our opinions on it. If you do not care to read them you are welcome to ignore them without the snark.
 
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