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alcoholism thread

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got a bottle near me again. relapse was inevitable i see. aww fuck it. IM HAPPY! though alcohol has zero effect on me.
--now i need to cut weed though. shit.

hummm..need a fellow alcoholic to drink with! real people are in different cities & dont feel like going to bar alone.
,..:(
but fuck it.
 
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Roger&Me said:
as soon as that tingly little buzz hits me, I either continue drinking until wasted, or do some cocaine, or at the very least smoke a bunch of weed. There's something about the alcohol buzz that wants nothing more than to intensify itself.
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Truer words could hardly be used to describe my relationship with alcohol. However, it is getting better. Last night, I drank about 3-4 beers with a friend after eating a good meal at a restaurant. The tingly buzz was definitely there - but I didn't smoke any weed, didn't end up doing and coke, all I did was have another beer or two.

And then tonight, I was with the same friend and we watched Resident Evil Extinction. I had 3 Miller Lites. The buzz was real nice by the end of the movie, and he asked if I wanted to go to the video store and get another movie... this would unquestionably have implied getting another six pack as well, which would not have been a good idea since I have work tomorrow. I went home.

These two instances have showed me that I do have control. But in the past, I have completely fucked up due to alcohol. I don't even know how many times I've been rolling around in my bed at 5 in the morning trying desperately to fight off the coke comedown by chugging beers when I told myself at the beginning of the night I wasn't even going to touch the shit. Terribly demoralizing.

Let's hope I keep up this streak! Progress, not perfection. ;)
 
da2ra said:
guineaPig i need you!
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eh. i've taken to drinking alone.
i feel responsible for some of my friends developing alcohol problems just because they hung out with me frequently and i always have booze and always offer to share.
 
i wish id get hangover. would be easier not to drink. yesterday i thought id try out this 'glass of wine a day', and what do you know. i actually ran to the liquer store some 10 min after the 1st wine bottle. and i had important shit to do too today :(

missed them, but this time wont be wallowing in self pity and drink again, no no, im gonna have a good meal and have straight head. plus maybe harass my doctor to renew my prescription.

^everyones responsible for their own actions, no matter how you twist it.
 
drowning my sorrows in alcohol sounds like fun right now.

I haven't had a drink of alcohol in about 18 months, so I know it's probably not the best idea. Alcohol is a bitch sometimes. It's so easy to get and it's everywhere and pretty much socially accepted to get trashed.

But what keeps me from drinking is the crushing depression I feel the next day. Most of the time drinking alcohol hasn't really even been an option (I'd rather just smoke some weed) but because of how my world has been turned upside down alcohol is slightly tempting.
 
i used to be a 420/24/7 smoker in my younger days. i detested alcoholics and was all about how bad it is in comparison to weed. lulz. the usual story i guess.

there isnt shit i can do about this thats fucking depressing you know. alcohol is everywhere and they ban me from doing much better shit and then when i collapse thanks to alcohol they give me shit like AA.

---

nevermind. fuck that. i just thought that id do alcohol if it were illegal.
 
Do most people who drink here tend to go to the bar or do you hang around at home. It seems nowadays I can't get the motivation to go out, when I travel to a different city then I'm all for it, but the bars around here are so boring and depressing. Plus the whole issue of driving as well.

Anyways I'm still doing okay but I'm pretty damn bored. One more semester left of school and then I am out of here.

I've also noticed both in bluelight and in life that alcohol tends to become a substitute. Some burn out on it just as quickly as the other stuff, others develop somewhat controlled use.
 
^here atleast its much cheaper to get drunk with booze bought from a shop, rather than go straight to a pub. i used to like to go to bars and pubs but not really that much anymore. i guess i just dont like the atmosphere in clubs as i see others enjoying their time and im the miserable alcoholic there.

mostly i do other drugs when i go out and just buy some drinks to have something to drink, so not really getting drunk then.

I've also noticed both in bluelight and in life that alcohol tends to become a substitute.
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you mean a substitute for illicit drugs? if so, im all with you but i think it has become even more than just a substitute; i feel like i truly need that alcohol even when i got other dope.
 
da2ra said:
^here atleast its much cheaper to get drunk with booze bought from a shop, rather than go straight to a pub. i used to like to go to bars and pubs but not really that much anymore. i guess i just dont like the atmosphere in clubs as i see others enjoying their time and im the miserable alcoholic there.

mostly i do other drugs when i go out and just buy some drinks to have something to drink, so not really getting drunk then.



you mean a substitute for illicit drugs? if so, im all with you but i think it has become even more than just a substitute; i feel like i truly need that alcohol even when i got other dope.
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Yeah its cheaper to buy beer from a store, but some of the bars around here are really cheap. Like 50 cents a PBR cheap.

Anyways I'm usually in a pretty good mood actually. My drinking mainly comes out of boredom. I still like to go to clubs and concerts, but not like I used to. Who knows.

As for the booze+other drugs, yeah thats pretty true for me. Especially with Cannabis, but thats the only other substance I use fairly regularly.

Anyways with school starting up again (my last semester!, well probably) I now have something to do. I need to find a job, but thats hard to do with 18.5 credit hours.
 
I have done so much fucked up shit drinking , it puts all of these posts to shame... .I have been charged with assalt, lost too many friendships to count, been violent, said hurtful shit, fucked so many guys I have lost count that I wouldnt touch with a 50 foot pole, exposed myself, humiliated myself, friends and family. Turned up drunk to christmas lunch in front of all my relatives, offered alcohol to a 12 year old and then passed out for 4 hours in the sun on the porch in front of everyone. I let a girl finger me in front pretty much full view of anyone that could have seen, thrown up on myself. The first time I drank, I legally died.

I drink to have 'fun'. I know I can stop, and I have many times, but the older I get, more shit im remembered from my childhood, and I use it in part to suppress a lot of memories. Its not only that, Ive done a lot of fucked up shit these past two years and I wasted , I can tell you so much money and time, its unbelievable. I hate myself so much right now for what i did to myself for those two years, and I drink to punish myself. I drink in the hope that itll make the fun I have with my friends appear real. I drink to relax and forget because of a lot of guilt.

I have to stop, but like I said, the older Im getting (26) the more I just want to kill it.

The effects have started to appear , physically. My brain is absolutely fucked. I can assure you of that. I black out everytime I drink and say things I dont mean. I have lost language, cognition and decision making skills, I cant even most days drag myself out of bed because i cant emphasise this enough

I HAVE LOST TOTALY MOTIVATION.
For everything. My job is starting to look like a mess, and I may lose it because of this. I havent gotten my license because I have no motivation, and I need it in 2 weeks. I have had 3 months to do something about this. I cant read a book. My money situation is a complete mess, and I am completely depressed and have some minor anxiety issues, which are only minor now because I stopped drinking for a while and worked them out. Physically I have no energy. I am tired all the time. I am very overweight, because I cant do any exercise. Not as bad as some, but there is no way Im going to a doctor to find out what sort of damage I have done. Im also very very angry at the moment, and irrational, and I know if I wasnt drinking so much that I probably wouldnt be in as fucked situation as I am now. Although its kinda better, in some ways. But yeah, I need some form of self control. I dont think Im going to exercise that at any point soon.
 
^ Wow, I'm sorry that you feel so crappy. But give yourself a break, it's not like you're past the point of no return. Some of the reason that you can't concentrate can be attributed to depression and not just because you 'fucked your brain up' or something like that.

As soon as you start woking towards a positive goal you'll start to feel better. Don't be afraid to try.
 
I found that thinking about the damage I did to myself whilst drinking only made me drink more. I am convinced that scare tactics do not work here; especially after I stopped drinking very heavily for years and went to the doctor who said my liver and kidneys were fine.

That being said, women should be extra careful when drinking; they are much more likely to suffer damage from it. The damage accumulated at such a young age is most likely to be reversible, so don't worry - worrying will get you nowhere quickly.

Do stop drinking, though.
 
Beatlebot said:
As soon as you start woking towards a positive goal you'll start to feel better. Don't be afraid to try.
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Great advice. I found that when I started trying to improve my life I began to also improve myself.
 
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