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alcoholism thread

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I've been drinking for the past 6 years. I used to only occasionally drank, but when I did, I usually got pretty slaughtered. I blacked out a few times and did some kinda silly things, but nothing too bad.

In the past year I've drunk a lot more alcohol than I have in my entire life. It used to be okay drinking when it was just a few beers with a friend at home, but then I started going out every weekend....drinking beer, drinking half a bottle of gin, getting on E and then drinking more. I was getting really fucked up...often blacking out and being a real dickhead. It was often Friday night to Sunday of drinking and doing drugs.

The other weekend I was at a party and I probably had the longest blackout I've ever had. Fuck, I'm probably talking 8 hours or more of mostly complete blank with maybe a few snippets at the start and end. I was okay when I arrived, but didn't realise I was getting drunk as fast as I was. No surprise thinking about it afterwards, since I was stoned, had a line of E, snorted amyl and drank lots of beer.

I'm not sure what I did for most of the night, but I'm pretty certain I was aggravating people. Now I'm trying to give about alcohol for a while. My body is suffering, I'm pissing off my friends, I'll eventually get bashed and I'm getting depressed for several days after drinking. Basically I've come to the realisation I'm not actually having fun. I'd really like to get to the stage where I can have six beers, NOT MIX alcohol with other drugs and say "that's it", but I'm going to leave that for a while.

What I'm really worried about is that I'll eventually piss off all my friends and they won't want anything to do with me. One of my dad's friends is a full on alcoholic and he's pretty much lost all of his friends because of his drinking, albeit over many many decades. Now I just need to adjust to being around people who are drunk and resisting the temptation to have "just one beer".
 
^ i have noticed when i dont drink and am around people who are drunk, drinking begins to look not so appeasing.

i would do the same thing black out go nuts and piss everyone off, or wake up chained to a wall in jail. it became even more scary when i would black out after 3-4 beers, that was when i started trying to stop.

it is fucked up that even under hypnosis memories of what happened during a black out unaccessible.... yikes.
 
usdathashield said:
i cant wait, i gotta grind 3 weeks sobritey but i got some sniffing ethanol, i just need to grind my teeth, always a plus side tho, tolerance must drop decently by then (would be around 25ish days without alcohol), then i might have a full time job so ill just no stop bing drink all day every day friday night thru-sunday, then do weed during the week. best of both worlds, extreme binge drinking and wont get physically addicted again, and hey sobreity aint so bad (i have my good hours and bad hours). ill dxm, use inhalants, and ill be good to go soon enough.
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Inhalants now, too? :(
 
I've been drinking probably an average of between half of a fifth to an entire fifth about 3-4 days of the week for the last 1-2 years. When I started out, it was becuase of some shitty circumstances (my 4-month-old's mother kicked me and him out of her place becuase she didn't wan't responsibilty), but then the reason for drinking changed to stress or this or that. So here I am about a year and a half later, still drinking all the time - until a few weeks ago. I had been drinking heavily for 4 days but only in the evening after my kids asleep - then on the 5th day I didn't have any parenting responsibilities, so like a dumbass, I started as soon as I woke up at like 9:00am, drank all morning and slept most of the day. Then it happened: later that night I started having what I thought was a major panic attack: heart beating out of my chest, numb extremities, sweating, unrational fear, hullucinations, DT's so bad that I couldn't sleep for a couple days. At first I thought I had come down with an illness, after researching the matter I realized that I was experiencing withdrawals. The wd's were enough to make me never want to touch hard liquor again, and I haven't. I did have a few beers yesterday (low 3 point beers here in Oklahoma, or piss water if you will), but no amount of stress can make me drink like I did again, becuase the stress from wd's is WAY WORSE, almost unbearable - besides I have more important things in my life like my toddler. I just can't believe that the socially acceptable alcohol pulled me down like that - NEVER AGAIN. A recent miprocin journey helped engrave this newfound mentality into me aswell. Good luck to any alcoholics out there, it sucks. And usdathashield, hopefully you find something worth living for too. Peace out mang.
 
Well shit .. I'm pretty much obliterated now.

Drank last nite, more than normal, but only cos a friend had me over for a little BBQ .. but tonite .. rather than run an hour like I'd planned, I was pissed at how my Friday worked out .. kept comin up with different plans ... ended up just walkin to the grocer next door and consuming more liquor than I've had maybe all year.

Friday, blah .. was expecting a verdict on a job opp. by now, never came .. back to the same old confusion about who the f*ck I am, where the f*ck I'm going in life, why the f*ck I bother, etc ... and now I'm gonna walk to the next county and drunk around like the bum I should be.

edit: how odd, mulling around the Capitol Mall after dark, I ran into a guy I wanted to act as my realator, if I ever got a real job and got my shit together .. the former has yet to happen despite my best efforts tho, and the latter just doesn't seem to be in my power.
 
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stopped the insomnia. drank alot for free at work
also, usdathashield, just to let you know, its looked down upon to double post...or triple post...or more as you have been bumping this thread like crazy.

type all your shit out in one post in the future plz.
 
SIlverFeniks: What else is in your life? Is there a person, or even an interest (discounting the use of alcohol and drugs) that you can put energy into instead of drinking? I enjoy exercise, but don't find that it does much for my 'addiction condition' when it comes to drugs.

If anything, I'd rather be drugged whilst exercising to push myself through the muscle pains due to exhaustion! I'm talking about cycling here, or running, if it doesn't make any sense.
 
I find alcohol takes away the sweet ,gracefulness of us females ,It either makes you angry and or weepy --I don't drink per say and can hardly tolerate a drunk person ,I think it should be used in moderation ,it does help with social fears , it being a CNS depressant makes some people very doom and gloom as us women with all our hormone get different affects from alcohol at any given time in a month ,I think about having a few drinks socially ever once in a while but don't see it as I once did --I feel for people at the point were its become the escape or the necessity (those morings when you cant stop shaking without it

I totally agree with replacing it with something you get a kick from --something that challenges you --
I realize its easier said than done

but A.A

doesn't seem to work for many --why I think "being powerless" is not useful ,you need power

the fellow ship part is OK but the steps are degrading and why humiliate yourselves you need to empower yourself not stand around talking about how you fell of the porch in a drunken stupor but how you are going to do something different today other than drink --like paint your nails get a new hair cut -- replant a plant have a nap ,enjoy your kids --something else


I didnt mean to cut in, excuse me if I did
 
--like paint your nails get a new hair cut -- replant a plant have a nap ,enjoy your kids --something else
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Excellent! What colour would you suggest for my nails BTW ?


I didnt mean to cut in, excuse me if I did
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You (and everyone else) are welcome here , we want your opinions your views your jokes (assuming you possess wit ;) ) post post and post , just don't take the ghey if we delete half of it 1


Hallo great to have you , you made a cracking post!
 
I used to be an alcoholic. I think the biggest factor that saved me was sensitization. I believe that what leads many to alcoholism is the inability to enjoy many aspects of life, which is often caused by various social/economic pressures. The fear of alienation (or the pressure to conform) saps away the spirit of genuine enjoyment, and makes that which once seemed enjoyable like work. The alcohol takes authority over the mind like a cowboy breaking in a horse.

Funny thing about sensitization: I used to be able to down a 40 oz. bottle of rhum no problem; the other day I drink a 40 oz. bottle of 5% beer, and regretted it afterwards. I felt soothed for about 15-20 minutes, then I felt shitty for about 2 hours...

I suggest people struggling with alcoholism should watch the film "The Pursuit of Happyness".
 
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I just started again. not just started drinking again, becasue i was drinkin a bit every so often, but just started drinkin alone and heavily again. i remember the issues i had with it, wakin up not knowin where my car was every day for months on end, and losin friends because whenever id call wantin to hang out when i showed up i already smelled like whiskey or cheap malt liqour. i remember bein asked to pull over so the other person could drive and flooring it fast enough their door shut the second they got out of the car. i remember gettin fired for drinking at work too much and falling asleep during sex. whiskey sure made a fool out of me, and i hope im not falling back into the same habits.
 
i went 3 days w/o drinking...3 days w/o sleep. i have seroquel that i was starting to take to sleep..then st.patty's day came into the mix and ppl started handing me money to buy booze...everyone buys me drinks cuz they know i appreciate it...i hadnt told anyone how long i'd gone w/o drinking...eh. fuck it.
 
Never give up hope! One day you might find the big whale, and then who'll be laughing? Me. That's who.
 
No drinking today, hooray!

Kerrigan said:
SIlverFeniks: What else is in your life? Is there a person, or even an interest (discounting the use of alcohol and drugs) that you can put energy into instead of drinking? I enjoy exercise, but don't find that it does much for my 'addiction condition' when it comes to drugs.
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Too much free time, that's what's in my life .. despite a steady FT job [which I'm always sober at], a car [basic transportation + neglected hobby/sport], lots of running lately, a few friends + casual hobbies [reading, photography, etc] ... many dreams of better jobs, better living conditions, a better future ... but it's never, ever enough.
Inevitably, during the week [or at several points during each and every day], I want nothing but to throw all I have away, to go back to the drug-induced bliss, euphoria, life I used to know.
And as I'm more responsible, legit, and isolated these days .. I carelessly, and very much unsatisfactorily, throw the cheap, horrid intoxicant alcohol at my problem from time to time; causing many regrets, but accomplishing/learning nothing.

I enjoy not drinking far more than I enjoy drinking, but often I get it in my head that I could enjoy drinking, and that drinking is preferable to not drinking.
Throw in the precarious position of me still enjoying a couple beers - but no more - and you have one small aspect of my multifaceted personality

Luckily, as alcohol does happen to make me feel like shit, and as the older I get, the more I enjoy feeling all-around healthy ... I don't nearly face the immensity of others' battles with alcoholism. For me it's just a sorry, barely-pleasurable attempt to plug old wounds; an inadequate stopgap measure.

I've thrown it off again now for a while; no doubt I'll be back for another round, once my hatred of the toxin fades a bit. that's how it always works with everything .. memory is curious like that; we forgive and forget so easily, when it would pay to be more astute and assiduous.
 
sober 10 days now by force, still getting headaches lol fuck.

guinea pig- my bad man ill keep the double post in mind in the future

above poster, dont worry man youll pull through, are you physically addicted?

thats the best part of my 10 days off, in a few more days i can start binge drinking again with no concequence, always a plus

my only alcohol problem is that everyone else has a problem with my alcohol use lol i dont think this one has been mentioned yet
 
my only alcohol problem is that everyone else has a problem with my alcohol use lol i dont think this one has been mentioned yet
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If that weren't true, I'd laugh.

usdathashield: Should I give up hope with you? You don't seem to want to listen to any advice, though you certainly like to talk. What are the chances of you keeping off tthe drink, even for a little while longer, just as some sort of challenge?

Afterwards you can tell yourself that your willpower is strong enough; that you've managed to succeed where others haven't, and that you have not ruined the life ahead of you.

Since I've decided personally to watch over this thread (admin rules changing) I am obliged to speak to you about your problem, just it seems as though you wouldn't want the help of this forum and won't listen to anyone.
 
usdathashield said:
sober 10 days now by force, still getting headaches lol fuck.

guinea pig- my bad man ill keep the double post in mind in the future
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not a problem man. its just kinda forum etiquette.
glad ur still sober. 10 days is longer w/o booze than i've gone in...shit, years i think. more power to ya.:)
 
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