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alcoholism thread

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http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/showthread.php?t=297172

thats the link to how my head feels but like i said my problems are going to be solved soon, if i find out i fucked my head up im going to break my dads jaw with my baseball bat, take his offer to get me an apartment and cut me off in the ghetto part of toronto, with a welfare check from him so i can buy hopefully heroin there, i love stims and one of the worst mistakes i ever made was not doing crack when i had the chance, but financially its not worth it. soon ill be out tho, one way or another, on the otherhand, why pay for drugs when i can live in my ghetto project apartment alone with no furniture with bottles of vodka and oranje juice, i can drink until i starve myself to death, althought its likely Id overdose, id like to go on E and alcohol personally
 
i didnt mean to dicksize whatsoever kerrigan, i wont kickmyself later cuz im going to be dead. my fucking cunt of a father didnt let me OD the other day, when i made that thread i think i had alcohol of .69 (i wasnt close to puking either i was going to try to pound down another bottle thats the beauty of vodka even if you keep puking and puking your still not drunk anymore, but main goal is death, so BAH lol lets get back to getting suggestions for curing the alcoholics in here
 
Kerrigan said:
I really cannot support your choices, I'm afraid. Feel free to continue, honestly, but it's all a terrible tragedy. After achieving sobriety for such a short time, you're already desperate to chuck it away along with everything else, including your own life?

There has to be more to do with it than alcohol. If you don't want to talk about it, that's obviously fine. Just I cannot understand why you'd want to do this. Death is not so much something to fear, but it isn't anything I'd want to rush along either.

What's really driving you towards suicide? Imagine yourself in a few years reading your posts. I was certainly aware that I'd made the wrong decision with alcohol.

Is suicide even a decision? I thought it was an act of desperation that would only happen if all other possibilities had been exhausted. Why would you subject yourself to constant suffering, and also death? It makes absolutely no sense! :(
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i cant commit suicide, i tried cutting my wrist and as soon as i started cutting i couldnt do it because i was a pussy(even more pathetic considering i was drunk). ive been an addict for years, and its not going to get any better.

i dont imagine myself in years because i dont have years. i had years and wasted them, my parents are cunts for ruining my promising my athletic career (which cannot be salvaged, too many burnt bridges and in serious athletics coaches dont even want a SMELL of a player whos touched drugs let alone been addicted although ive never been an addict.

ive got a very big problem i cant solve and its 100% the cause of my usage give into on a daily basis non drug related. its cost me my friends, athletics, body mind and soul. im going to a doctor tomorrow fruitlessly to try to see what ive done to my brain plus my dad is trying to force me into a counciler so im going to go just to get one. i wish i had of tried crack when i had the chance (although ive always got the chance) so i hope would be like the movie twister, where your inside the tornado. if i lock myself in there ill be set.
 
yeah, thats the good news, i tend to not be optimistic, but what am i bitching about? ive got clothes on my back and a roof on my head, my level of self loathing increases with every post i make.

getting a problem sorted is good mate, what drug were you addicted to?
 
^ me ? erm heroin , methamphetamine, alcohol , then methadone and morphine , probably some othere shit but my mdma inspired amnesia makes it hard to remember !
But the drug is not the point the reason why or the reasons not to are!


good luck .
Seriously if you feel others are somewhat responsible for your helplessness then defeat them !
 
yeah, because deeper down i never wanted to do any drug (not even weed) cuz i was going to be an athlete, but the damage has been done. if i could fix my problem id easily never touch any substance again, but reality is deal with your problems and i cant. as well i dont blame anyone, my parents were shitty, but not physically abusive or anything,

i personally belive i am to blame for my problems because i am. damn, the sickest part is i love to see myself lose (in sports although i have a competitive fire like any professional athelete would), but i love losing and i love hating myself, its quite sick actually. best part is no one knows, because i am an excellent actor, but sooner or later it problems come out in the wash IE my overdose, so yeah, but no sarcasm intended i am happy zophen that you were able to get clean off of all of those drugs, damn, one of the them would be bad enough and hard enough to overcome!
 
So I ran about 9 miles after work today.
That was to keep myself from drinking.
Didn't work!

No idea what I'm gonna do tomorrow, f**k. Can't run every day, and wasn't planning on hitting the store until Thursday .. already made a side-trip for beer yesterday ...
 
im hihg on 660mgs dxm now and i dont feel better. i puked 6 times so i think i a m ok my body cant handle cough syrup man im going to get booked too many drunk dials lol
 
have any of you alcoholics had problems with your stomach? ive had to drastically cut down on drinking due to stomach pain. i think the original problem was caused by weed cause i used to be able to drink alcohol fine with no stomach issues. then after smoking copious amounts of marijuana for a long time, when i stopped i discovered my stomach was fucked up. now sometimes after drinking, i will have stomach pain for days afterwards. its really concerning me. for one because i dont want to have to stop drinking and also because i fear theres something really wrong with my stomach.
 
one of my biggest problems staying of the booze is fing other things to do with my time. I live one an Island that is three miles long and has over 60 bars. I think I may get back into college just to keep busy.
 
burn out said:
have any of you alcoholics had problems with your stomach? ive had to drastically cut down on drinking due to stomach pain. i think the original problem was caused by weed cause i used to be able to drink alcohol fine with no stomach issues. then after smoking copious amounts of marijuana for a long time, when i stopped i discovered my stomach was fucked up. now sometimes after drinking, i will have stomach pain for days afterwards. its really concerning me. for one because i dont want to have to stop drinking and also because i fear theres something really wrong with my stomach.
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I've never heard of marijuana causing the sort of stomach problems you describe. Prolonged use of alcohol could certainly contribute to an ulcer, or something similar. How much do you drink daily (or weekly, if you just binge)?

Get yourself checked out by a doctor if you think there's something seriously wrong. It may be that you do have to stop drinking in order to resolve the problem, or at the very least cut back.
 
I live one an Island that is three miles long and has over 60 bars.
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haha damn, good luck, buddy.

wheres this island? shit.. if i were you, id be drunk all day long, just chillin on the beach. get a job tendin a bar until you can buy your own... i could live with that, for sure
 
sushii said:
I've never heard of marijuana causing the sort of stomach problems you describe. Prolonged use of alcohol could certainly contribute to an ulcer, or something similar. How much do you drink daily (or weekly, if you just binge)?

Get yourself checked out by a doctor if you think there's something seriously wrong. It may be that you do have to stop drinking in order to resolve the problem, or at the very least cut back.
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i only drink about once a week, usually from 12-16 beers. id drink a lot more than that if not for my stomach problems. sometimes i drink and my stomach will feel arlight the next day so i think its alright to drink again, then ill drink again and my stomach will hurt for several days.
 
usdathashield said:
i dont imagine myself in years because i dont have years. i had years and wasted them
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Dude, you're just a kid still. You've got your entire life ahead of you; your life has barely begun! In 5 or 10 years if you make it you'll look back on this time and realize how lucky you were that you toughed it out and made it past the rough parts! That is, if you make it.

It's just so sad that I can't stop saying things to you about it. :( It always amazes me how difficult it is to peer out of the current life situation you're in and realize that there is no permanence. Everything is constantly changing, including you, and everything gets better. Being positive is a very large factor in being happy as well. Just something to keep in mind. I know it's hard when you're feeling so terrible, but it's true and it's entirely possible.
 
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