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Alcoholism Thread V. ti martwonies

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After drinking heavy for the last 3 weeks I went to my first AA meeting on Sunday night. It was a good experience, and while I'm not totally stoked on the "higher power" part, it was helpful to talk to fellow addicts.

I went to a youth based one the next night and this was much more beneficial. People around my age (22) and a few older people in their late 20s. I'll be going back when I have a day off work on Saturday. I'm not going to be getting a sponsor and saying I'll never drink again. But this seems to be helping and I'll be going back. I haven't had a drink since sunday and I know that isn't long but its the first time since I had swine flu about a month ago that I have gone 72 hours.

One day at a time, and my goal right now is one month without any drugs or alcohol. I'll see how I feel then, but for now I'm on the wagon.

I'll be taking the money I get from my paycheck and instead of blowing it at the bar I'm going to buy a new pair of dress shoes, a pair of jeans, get a haircut, and buy a one of those trendy wool winter coats.

If I'm going to be dating sober girls I will need to look sharp. :)
 
^^ That's so awesome myles, you should be really proud of yourself!
Best wishes for your trip on the sobriety wagon! <3
 
RedLeader said:
You feeling better today n3o?
Click to expand...

A little bit :\
Thanks so much for chatting last night <3
My alcohol binge last night seemed to successfully quell my horrific obsessive thoughts, but also gave me one HELLUVA hangover today. And now I'm craving badly, while still hungover. Such a huge reminder of why I hate drinking so much :!
 
n3ophy7e said:
A little bit :\
Thanks so much for chatting last night <3
My alcohol binge last night seemed to successfully quell my horrific obsessive thoughts, but also gave me one HELLUVA hangover today. And now I'm craving badly, while still hungover. Such a huge reminder of why I hate drinking so much :!
Click to expand...

I cannot emphasize enough that the turning point, either on a bender or just in one's general life, is when one begins drinking to mitigate the hangover. From all I've learned, this is probably the worst thing one can do if one wants to not become a full-on alcoholic. It's the drinker's analogy of picking up the needle.

So just hang in there and if you do drink again today, wait until it's night again (ideally don't drink at all, just being realistic). And no need to thank me. I was trying my best, though the big secret was I was probably just as down as you were :\
 
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How's everyone doing in here? Staying on the wagon I hope. Wish all is well. My dad is coming up on 3 years sober. Anyone ever needs to talk hit me up.
 
dude, Tippycup, it seems that you're the only person on this thread that understands the true alcoholic and can actually see past everyone's attempted excuses that are actually delusions. Man, I'm really struggling right now. I've been almost sober for a month. After day 23 I had a few beers. I then had like eight beers the other night and now it's becoming immensely harder to hold on to sobriety. Thank god I'm sober right now. I was doing so well too. Like the best I'd ever done in my life. Fuck fuck fuck I just wanna cry
 
I only had four last night:D

That's quite a bit less that had been normal lately, but I didn't sleep until 7am because of it:|

Now for tonight.
 
DooMMooD said:
How's everyone doing in here? Staying on the wagon I hope. Wish all is well. My dad is coming up on 3 years sober. Anyone ever needs to talk hit me up.
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Hey man welcome to the thread :)
Kudos to your Dad for 3 years of sobriety! That's awesome!
 
Musichead1489, I'm really happy that some of the things I've said resonate with you. Sometimes I wonder if my self-manipulation has just become more sophisticated, so it's good to hear that my thoughts sound solid to others as well. This is why I really love to hear what you have said:

My identical twin is losing everything as we speak to poly-drug abuse and alcoholism. He cannot work, his wife and young son left him, and he now suffers from vivid delusions that he is working all the time. He cannot differentiate between dreams, reality, and convenient lies that become absolute truth the moment he speaks them. It's often very subtle how his delusions occur and how general the subject, but the power of their "reality" is heartbreaking beyond measure. No reasoning can dislodge them, no evidence is strong enough. My family has tried everything we can without effect. We are preparing for his final break, one way or the other at this time. It's a case of purely unmitigated denial, and it's ability to grow into delusions that effects every aspect of life.

I'm an identical twin, 75% chance of developing the same symptoms they say. Whoever "they" are can take a hike, because there is no way I'm going down that way. The people here at BL are in the top percentile of addiction behavior BS detection(part science and art!), and I'd like to think they recognize the opposite just as keenly!!!

Musichead1489, you are in the battlefield right now fighting to string tens of sober days together with singles. Keep clawing for every damn inch; every day sober is not lost for one not. Keep the battle even in bad times and go for their trenches in good, and one day real fucking soon you will win this miserable shitstorm.
PM me if there is any way I may be able to help you!
 
Wow man. It sounds like your going through some truly unique hardships right now. I'm glad you are confidently sober and I think if you want to avoid this schizophrenic-esque condition, you will have to stay sober. I don't personally know you or your twin but I imagine his vivid delusions have been triggered from his excessive behavior. At this point a high, a low, another drug, another day, or another night have merged into a terrifying singularity governed by his own vices and convenient storytelling tactics that dodge what's expected of him. I send my regards and my deep remorse for your situation and if there's anything I can do, you know where to reach me.
I too have a sibling with borderline/bipolar disorder. She's kind of in a similar boat as your brother. So I understand to an extent what you and your family might be going through.
And I've been keeping with my sobriety for almost a week since my last slip so I'm doing well.
Thanks dude
 
You don't know me or my brother, musichead, but you have perfectly imagined what I feel went wrong with him. He was always prone to telling white lies and the occasional attention craving doozy of a BS story. Now it's like he got lost in his lies, and cannot distinguish reality anymore. He's had some crazy stories that are told with loopholes that clue you to a lie, but then he goes on too believe them 100%?!?!
The only thing that gave him one day of clarity the past 8 months was shortly after a xanax supply ran out. He w/d for a couple days, had multiple seizures and suddenly was "back". 2 days later he must have found a new source...
I've had to distance myself after trying to help him for a couple years, and totally the past 3 months. I spend time with his 4yo son every week and due to being an identical twin I can definitely ease the sudden shocking disappearance of his father from his life.
As hard as this all is, I've proven to myself that I can survive now. I cannot make my brother survive, but I can be there for his son.
Rather than risking my sobriety, these difficulties seem to strengthen me.
Thank you for your kind words.
Congrats on 7 days, the absolute hardest in my book!
 
^hey LH, don't beat yourself up, and don't let it be an excuse to keep drinking! i know it's super easy to do what works, make yourself feel better, and have a drink. i know its super hard to get through the first day or two sober but you've done it before and you'll do it again.

sack in with a couple of new videos, and lots of your favorite munchies. or hit the gym, or take yourself shopping, whatever you like... give yourself treats. whenever i feel deprived of something in one area of my life, say alcohol, i treat myself with other things, and it usually helps.

keep your chin up kid!
 
Havent drank in about 9 days. I was abit pissed off at that relapse but that was the first time id drank since around the 1st of july and i stopped myself at 3 beers. So i guess i should be proud i stopped at 3 beers instead of being pissed off that ive had only 1 minor relapse since the beggining of july or whatever.

Im not really craving it at all which is great :) . Now to get through christmas :| .
 
angles are real

guys god just sent me a angle, while i was downstairs in the common lobby here at the dorms, I over herd someone say their name. I remeber that name because he was my old youth pastor. So In my mind I tell my self that I really have to tell someone that will listen to me, So I went and told him if he had a minute. He told me that he did so we went to talk in one of my dorms private computer labs.
I dont mean to get all bible thumper on yal but he told me something I really needed to hear.
"And ye shall kno the truth, and the truth shall set me free"-john8:32.
So the truth has been here, all along. Since I had my first drink, I liked it way to much. When a kid thats 13 drinks their first drink and asks for another, and another, until he can't walk straight and is puking, and still keeps asking for his cup to be filled. Over and over and over again, something is wrong.
Sorry to ramble but I belive now that the guy upstairs doesn't hate me becuase I drink, he loves me more than anything in life.
wow
 
^glad you're feeling lovable again D's. sounds like you've experienced a real shift in thinking. hang on to it!
 
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Been noticing the last few weekends when I hit the piss harder than I do through the week that the day afterwards I get shaky and shit. Not like shaking uncontrollably but noticeabley shaking at times. I assume this is the start of physical dependence building? This is probably a stupid question seeing as how I don't really plan on stopping drinking anytime soon but is there any way to minimise this that doesn't involve a reduction of alcohol consumption?
 
DM, Without knowing how much and when, who's to say.
Assuming you are tying one on fairly tight most nights of the week with bigger weekends I'd say you are exactly right. It's just the beginning though, and I say that with optimism not grim prophecy!
How to reduce that? You already know the answer to that question too I'll bet. Without reducing intake or taking a benzo, perhaps staying very hydrated with electro's and vits after drinking would help. Maybe instead of hair of the dog you could try very strong valerian tea or even some Kava(kava on a hangover, trashcan handy?)
I know people who are not alcoholics who get shaky after a big night, but not many.
 
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