Alcoholism Thread V. ti martwonies

[myles p]

myles p, that's good to hear that you found a low-dose benzo to help you ride it out. I'd be surprised if you're not ready to dominate a large pizza (or your favorite food of choice) in 48 hours.

You are correct sir. I'm on hour 50 and feel pretty good today. Due to the valium I have no desire to drink, it really is helping.

The doctor said I might have an anxiety disorder and I have been self medicating with alcohol. I'm going to see him tommorrow and discuss medication methods.

I went to class yesterday and even played tennis for a couple hours with friends. Much more satisfying than sitting on the couch and drinking myself to sleep. I really don't want to become dependent on benzos so I want to discuss other options. If he prescribes a benzo to be taken everyday I am going to limit myself to his dosage as the last thing I want is a benzo addiction.

at the moment I'm content, and it was very nice not walking up with anxiety and a nasty hangover.

Best of luck to all of you.

 

[RedLeader]

If he prescribes a benzo to be taken everyday I am going to limit myself to his dosage as the last thing I want is a benzo addiction.

Glad to hear that you are feeling much better

Be careful. Even if you are scripted a daily benzo and you follow the orders, you still get "physically dependent" on it. And that term is pretty much synonymous with addicted, only with more of a clinical connotation. Kind of like with anti-depressants, but more dangerous. I'm scripted daily clonazepam. It says take "twice per day." But if I do that, I know I get physically addicted to the stuff, and it would require me to taper off of. A lot of doctors downplay the severity of daily benzo use. So if you do start taking it daily, follow the rules to a T, because running out early SUCKS.

The anxiety should go away as the primary stage of alcohol WD fades in a few weeks. Each day will feel better. Stay active - keep playing tennis.

And I hear you about not waking up with the anxiety. Funny isn't it how hangovers, when you first started drinking, were all about being sick and having a headache. And then as you became dependent, the physical side of it was almost normal, but the "anxiety hangover" gets worse and worse over time. I think this is something everyone who is fearing a growing dependency should listen up about. The nature of the hangover evolves over time, and even if it sounds like an anxiety-themed hangover would be better than feeling like you're going to puke all day, it's NOT. Feeling sick sucks, but feeling bad anxiety SUCKS.

 

[Ds]

I've gone the day without taking a drink, and feel good. Had a lot of exercise today, and I don't have the urge to go to the bottle.
I'm super hungry now, and I wish I would have bought some subway with that $5.

 

[paranoid android]

I have not found this to be so in the US.

I am not exactly a tongue-tied person. I've been able to talk to ONE doctor about my drinking without being threatened with inpatient (and this was years ago). The rest have just put me on meds saying "you can't drink on these more than a little" or worse yet - "if you think you have a problem, go to AA and see what they can do for you".

I live in canada and when i quit for about a 5 year stretch when i was 21 the doctor did recomend i go to the hospital and get checked out. This was probably because i looked like utter shit and was having full blown alcohol withdrawals and i guess he was afraid of me having a seizure. Or dying .

But thankfully he gave me more then enough meds to get off the stuff and stay off. Im pretty sure where ever you live it's just a matter of hitting the right doctor. I know that one time i told a doctor how much i drank and he just kinda laughed at it. Guess because he thought that i was a 20 year old just living it up. No mention of the damage the alcohol was doing, the fact that i had gone to him because i was puking blood or the fact that i was shaking like a goddamn leaf in his office. But this was a useless twat in general so this was too be expected.

I'm super hungry now, and I wish I would have bought some subway with that $5.

Id kill for a nice big sub now. Never thought on getting my mom to pick me up one .

 

[Mariposa]

^^Given that despite the abuse my body takes, I've maintained a good level of health, my last doctor told me it was just the stress I was going through but that if it got worse I should pay whatever I have to to become insured again (it's only a matter of time) and consider abstaining. The doctor that threatened inpatient was years ago and I told her it would be a waste of time.

How's everyone doing?

I feel a little down, but it's because I'm a little bored at the moment. I'm drinking with dinner tonight and planning a good night's sleep. I'm trying to decide if I will be doing OcSober per Redleader's thread. I will decide by then.

No alcohol-related fail since last I wrote. I think my hormones are affecting my mood - now that my body is free of artificial hormones, I'm having a hard time with the endogenous ones. I'm not drinking to assuage that at all.

I hope everyone else is doing well.

 

[RedLeader]

^ good to hear. Ocsober is still in the workings. Honestly, I'd love if you'd PM me your thoughts as to how TDS should conduct such an effort.

I drank this weekend. A lot. But recovering today, and hope to be good by the workweek

 

[lady grey]

OcSober sounds intriging! I don't know if i could do it, a whole month though, how sad.

I blacked out on Saturday night and left the party i was at to walk home or to get cigarettes, i can't remember. I called my friend saying i was scared and just going to sleep on the street because i'd been walking so long not knowing where i was going. I ended up being told to get in a cab and go home and i passed out all day. Scary.

Being single now there is a massive level of personal responsibility that i have to keep in mind when i'm drinking. It's a scary thing but i never realised how much J is one of the only people in my life to have seen that side of me and take care of me when i get out of control like that. I guess it's only a matter of time now before something happens and it becomes obviouse to everyone i have a problem.

 

[RedLeader]

^ Oh wow. I am glad to hear you are okay today and now. PM me, of course, if you need someone to talk with

 

[Painites]

Anyone have any tips for dealing with alcoholics?

My mother is a severe alcoholic, so was her father. She drinks every night to obliteration. She has hepetitus C and a bunch of other health problems, smokes chronically and now has a constant deathy cough. She is killing herself slowly =\. She tries to quit smoking and then she drinks and triggers her smoking again, or even vice versa.

I have to look after her when shes drunk sometimes. She turns into an ignorant b*tch or turns into a baby. It's degrading and makes me feel like I am the parent role.

It sounds selfish, I do love her, but I REALLY do not want to deal with her health problems down the line. She is killing herself by doing this and I'm going to have look after her when it starts to get serious =\

I have started taking her to AA meetings, but the only way for her to go there is to get drunk and then go. Does anyone actually find these helpful?

Occasionaly she'll have a few good days (Still drinking, but not massively), but she always goes back into it. I think part of the problem is abusive relationship with another alcoholic (Although it doesn't effect him as severely), and smoker. =\

Stressful to deal with. I DO want to try and help though, it is just EXTREMELY Frustrating when you put so much effort into trying to help and it seems to be going somewhere, only to find her back at square 1 again (And again, and again, and again).

 

[CHiLD-0F-THE-BEAT]

^I can relate to your story having lived with an alcoholic in my family my whole life. Unfortunately I have no advice for you except for - move out.
I did as soon as I could, and my relationship with this parent has become much, much better. They're still in the same place, emotionally, and have not stopped drinking, but I'm not affected as much as I was living under the same roof.

As sad and as heartbreaking as it is, sometimes you just have to step back. You can lead a horse to water, as the old addage goes. At the end of the day it's the destruction of their life. You shouldn't let your life be taken down the same destructive path.

Hang in there.

 

[Mariposa]

RL, I'm glad to look the issue over and give my thoughts, whether or not I participate. Expect a PM by mid-week or sooner, we need to catch up anyways

TG, I hear ya Having someone look over you is a good thing as a matter of personal safety - and having nearly met my end at the bottom of a couple of flights of stairs when drinking solo (in college) I wish I'd had that at the time.

My "saving grace" at that time (which was the time I easily drank the most and the highest proof spirits) was a key rack I hung up in my den that was *just for* when I was drinking. I had another in a different color next to it when I was not drinking. I'm ashamed I didn't always follow this rule years ago. It's been several years since I violated that rule and I am lucky. Others have not been.

I know it's tempting to self-medicate when you're feeling poorly, as you are now. You have many reasons to drink. But the reasons you have to drink less or not drink are so much more important. Your future, your career, your progress in general - will all be so much more within your control if you get hold of this.

 

[lady grey]

^ You're amazing I am sitting here with a gin & tonic and i almost want to poor it down the sink. Thank you for being inspirational and for your empathy, being an alcoholic is a very lonely thing and here is my ONLY safe place to talk about it. My mum is an alcoholic, sober 8 years and i know i can talk to her but i think she blames herself for some reason and i don't like to bring her down when she is doing so amazingly well.

Thank goodness you were okay after your fall down the stairs, what a scary scary thing to have gone through it's good that you created a sort of safety net for yourself in the event that you would lose control though, that's something i think i'm going to do. If i don't have someone then i have to have something. Ideally i'd like not to get to that point but i do almost every weekend, weeknights i can be better - depending on how much alcohol is in the house.

I think i keep waiting for my wake up call, but how bad does it have to get.. Where i'm at now is pretty bad and i am no where near being "woken up". I'm completely in a self destructive alcohol dream sleep.

Thanks again mariposa your last sentence, it's lifted me up like i thought nothing could today

 

[SA]

^ good to hear. Ocsober is still in the workings. Honestly, I'd love if you'd PM me your thoughts as to how TDS should conduct such an effort.

I drank this weekend. A lot. But recovering today, and hope to be good by the workweek

Especially in TDS as a group effort or campaign, it is imperative that alcoholism and recovery from such be approached with a bit more education for the masses. People need to learn, in layman terms, that alcohol addiction and abuse is not simply a "lack of willpower" problem. Plenty of good text can be quoted. One example...

...alcoholism could be seen as a Nutritional Disorder. The hypoglycemic diet is essential in any treatment for alcoholism.

Withdrawing from alcohol is most likely to cause sugar cravings for reasons explained above. The person can help to alleviate this sugar cravings by taking glycerine as mentioned elsewhere in our web site. Glycerine is a sweet tasting substance, obtainable from any pharmacy. You mix one table spoon of glycerine in a glass of water and add a dash of lemonade (to improve taste). It is not recognized by the pancreas and does not produce excess insulin. It is slowly converted to biological energy in the liver and will stop the sugar cravings. It will also normalize the stress hormones and may help in having a normal sleep. Kudzu vine is a herbal remedy that is reported to stop the craving for alcohol and may possibly do so for other drugs of addiction.

It may take up to a year for the brain to restore normal receptors for neurotransmitters. This can be sped up by a high protein diet such as the Hypoglycemic Diet, including nutritional supplements as mentioned in the Hypoglycemic Diet. In the meantime the person may still have a few bouts of depression, and this is where social support becomes important. It is only after the underlying metabolic disorder has been attended to by nutritional means, that the person can benefit from talk therapy or whatever ‘mental’ approach.

Alcoholism (Addiction) is a Treatable Disease

 

[Cyc]

It happened SO GRADUALLY, over about 4 years, until one day I realised I was drinking every single day, and had been for the last 5 years or so, at least a 6-pack of beers or a bottle of wine during the week and a SHITLOAD more on weekends. Now, it's an on-going battle of trying to not drink through the week, then going all-out on weekends and drinking to excess, craving through the week, getting shitfaced the next weekend, slipping up and having a few beers during the week, slowly slipping back in to drinking every single day again, getting back in to the routine of not drinking through the week, and so the cycle continues.

So even though the whole time I was always extremely concious of my predisposition to alcoholism, it still happened to me. And like I said, it was so so gradual, by the time I realised/admitted what was going I was well and truly entrenched in the chasm that is alcoholism.

This reads very familiar. I'm currently struggling with the exact cycle you describe. I battle through the weekdays with the odd social slip-up, justified by the fact that I'm not drinking alone.

Then Thursday will hit, and I'll find an excuse to hit a patio, or I count the days until Friday and go balls out all weekend. I try to hit the brakes on Sunday night, but Sunday is volleyball and you have to have a few drinks then, right? Then a few more after I get home to keep the buzz going.

Sure enough, Monday rolls around, and I wake up early for school feeling like a bloated sack of shit, and I brace myself for another week of half-assed detox.

I ordered some valium last week and I'm hoping they come in the mail soon. Sure, I could've gotten a prescription, but then it would follow me around on my medical record. I'm getting my wisdom teeth out soon, and I don't need doctors giving me useless, hepatoxic T3's because they think I'm predisposed to addiction.

 

[drug_mentor]

Never really posted in this thread before but I suppose I am an alcoholic. I have been drinking 4-6 days a week since January and any day where I haven't drank I have been doing drugs of some other kind.

Last few months I have noticed a few health problems as a result and know I should quit but the truth is I don't even have the courage to try. Alcoholism runs in my family and I know if I don't do something soon I'm in trouble but I seem to only be able to make myself half care and never do anything about it.

I don't have it as bad as some of you guys though, reading through this thread is pretty humbling. Some of you are dealing with some real bad drinking problems, I don't know how you deal with them.

 

[RedLeader]

Last few months I have noticed a few health problems as a result and know I should quit but the truth is I don't even have the courage to try. Alcoholism runs in my family and I know if I don't do something soon I'm in trouble but I seem to only be able to make myself half care and never do anything about it.

You're always welcome here. If you have any specific questions about slowing down, or health-related, let us know. It's a horrible drug to get addicted to.

Some of you are dealing with some real bad drinking problems, I don't know how you deal with them.

Hell. On. Earth.

 

[Mariposa]

^This.

I am so bad at taking my own advice. I fucked up last night. Badly. I made an impulse buy of a bottle of vodka which perpetuated a nasty row. I don't remember the last time I cried so much. It's mostly patched up now, but it's contingent on my sobriety. When the hell will I learn?

I am definitely in for OcSober. RL, I'm "sober" but not exactly clearheaded... damn you, TAAKA. (The irony that the relapse was on the shittiest vodka money can buy is not lost on me. I should have done it with Grey Goose) I'm putting some thoughts together and will PM you tomorrowish.

I don't have a hangover and I drank the whole goddamned 750 ml bottle. This is abnormal. I have the tolerance of 10 Russian men.

I am going to do the HAMS Taper commencing this afternoon - this morning requires that I not drink. I have a good supply of Soma and some benzodiazepines.

I saw a little stretchy bracelet that said "Courage" on it the other day. I am going to buy it today and snap it on my wrist every time I have a craving for alcohol. I have therapy tomorrow and my therapist will be thrilled that I am quitting, he's been bugging me for ages. 8)

I'm tearing up as I write this and I drank about a gallon of green/white tea this morning. I'm scared I will get withdrawal symptoms despite the taper. But I want my fucking life back.

I will get my life back.

Thanks to everyone in this thread for your support and wisdom, with a special shout out to SA who I am ever so glad has returned with his knowledge.

 

[cosmic charlie]

Ive managed to slow down my drinking alot , Ive only had 4 drinks in the past 4 days :D

I'm feeling so much better now , but Im not gonna forget what it was like a few weeks ago

 

[Pharcyde]

Im two whole days dry!

I drank almost everyday the last two months.

 

[RedLeader]

Mariposa, we all mess up. It's not so much about the mess up as it is the bounce back. Keeping mess ups to one-day benders is essential. Learning to do that is very valuable.

I need Ocsober too. I have so much in my life I need to get straightened out, and I need a level head. Not one seeing imaginary bats out of the corners of my eyes.

Maybe we should just recruit ITT? At least for those abstaining from alcohol. So alchies, copy/paste this quoted list if you're in with your name added.

Mariposa
RedLeader

If you don't know how to edit such, just say "I'm in!" and I'll edit stuff accordingly.