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Alcoholism Thread V. ti martwonies

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vonchampz said:
^^Yeah I feel the same way CC. Whenever I come off of benzos/opiates my drinking starts up again, like I'm just replacing one downer with another. I guess the key is to try and live a somewhat stable life (psychologically/emotionally/physically) without either of the downers... Easily said than done though.... :\ 8)
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thats so true von. my last attempt at quitting opiates (2wks) i drank like a fish every day. i guess it helped me alot because its the longest i've gone without opiates without leaving the state nd not being able to get em. the morning SUCK though, waking up all shitty:p
 
^Yeah tyler, I think depressants are easily substituted psychologically and physically for that matter. And yeah tyler, mornings suck. The thing with alcohol and stimulants (which have a terrible comedown for me) is that at some point the mornings (hangover) or the shitty feeling of the comedown slowly stops me from engaging in that substance. Unfortunately, opiates and benzos don't give me that until I stop, which IMHO makes them nicer.

I have been sober from alcohol for 2 weeks now because I felt I needed to clean up my hand. And it does feel great not waking up hungover and seeing my health improve like you said laser. Something else that is small but makes me feel good is not feeling my bloated stomach after a night of drinking. I'm not overweight and don't have a beer belly, but when I drink my stomach stretches and after stopping it feels really good to have my stomach back to its original size. Something small, but important for me non the less.

I'm glad that your emotional rollercoaster has mellowed out a bit laser! That's great. =D It feels nice IMHO to only have your self discipline as a factor in staying clean, rather than intense physical and psychological cravings AND self discipline. Keep us posted laser and PA; looks like you are also trying to stay off the booze and doing well. %) :\
 
paranoid android said:
Have you ever tried gabapentin or lyrica? I find they help the alcohol cravings a little bit. Gabapentin is supposed to be complete shit for acute alcohol withdrawals though or so ive heard. I get gabapentin prescribed for neuropathic pain (i only get lyrica sometimes through samples cause it costs a fortune :! ) and if i take higher doses then im prescribed it helps cut the alcohol cravings abit.
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I did not know this. I just got scripted for Gabapentin, though, so this could be good news for me!
 
Here's to alcohol, the cause of—and solution to—all life's problems

recently ive been having low blood sugar attacks when i wake up after drinking. i usually drink a 6 pack or more a night for the last 2 years. havent drank in 2 days but im starting to want some drink. I feel so THIRSTY sometimes you know what I mean?
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i notice that a lot of us alchys used to be dependent on benzos/opiates. i used to be addicted to xaanx, klonopin, valium, ativan.....

am I just trying to replace 1 addiction with another? it seems that benzos were easier to kick than alcohol. this legal drug is going to be the end of me. i just answered my own question
 
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Yeah chompy, it does seem like we are replacing one drug with another. It seems idiotic to me that alcohol is legal in this country but things like weed and codeine are illegal. I'm not advocating legalizing substances, but it seems to me that if alcohol is legal and causes major permanent psychological and physical damages, why are things like marijuana and codeine illegal. They cause IMHO less body and mind devastation..

As for quitting alcohol vs. opiates/benzos chompy, I dunno which is easier. For me, just the fact that it took more effort/planning for me to obtain opiates/benzos made it easier to quit when I was ready. With alcohol, there is always that grocery store and gas station on the corner.... For me, the ease of obtaining the substance played a role in how hard it was to quit.
 
Benzos are easier to kick in the sense that it's not "up-down-up-down" like booze, so you don't have that crave to be "up" always there for ya.

But IMO, in terms of beating a physical dependency, I know alcohol is rough, but it's a walk in the park compared to kicking actual physical addiction to benzos.

But ya, I hear ya as one who likes to cycle between alcohol and benzos. I've never gotten heavy into opiates, but I think if I had a constant connection for them, my life could easily fall apart in similar fashion.
 
Exactly the reason why I don't see my doc anymore for benzos. However, I always enjoy taking that walk to the liquor store. I gave in tonight at bought a 24oz can of some steel reserve...nasty but gets the trick done :(
 
haven't been in here in awhile, but i'm surprised to see this thread keeps going.
edit: I am /edit not much better than when i started these threads. shit sucks.
 
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sorry. i was typing the way i talk again.
i meant to say *I* am not much better than when i made it. in regards to my drinking that is.

sorry for any misunderstandings there. i'd never knock anyone in here.
 
^I'm sorry to hear that you're not doing as well as you'd like to be. Putting any differences aside that we've had in the past, I wish you luck. I don't know the extent of your struggle (that is, how much of what kind of alcohol do you drink, for how long, etc.) but I've learned a lot of coping skills from this thread and its predecessors - hope you do too.

I'm ashamed to admit it, but I broke and bought some vodka a couple days ago. It wasn't very much and nothing bad happened except the hangover. I'm just mad at myself for breaking like that. I've been under a lot of stress and I got a phone call from a longtime friend who has full-blown AIDS and isn't doing well. He wants to come visit but his idea of "visit" will probably be going to pickup joints/cruise spots and mine is to take him to museums/restaurants/make sure he is getting proper nutrition. He abuses Adderall pretty badly at present.

I don't know why I feel so guilty. I've learned not to lose my temper or my mind it appears. I will be getting some phenazepam soon (a legal, non-scheduled benzodiazepine) which will hopefully alleviate some of my anxiety, at which time I'll start tapering off even cider and beer. My goal is 2-3 beers/ciders 3 times per week. Alcohol is so effective as an anxiolytic up to a certain point, but the consequences suck so much now that I have eliminated spirits (barring of course that slip-up).

It's more appropriate for me to be on low-dose benzo maintenance. I have also noticed that since I started using low doses of tramadol off-label for my depression, I am less inclined to drink. I never developed tolerance to benzos. Phenazepam seems ideal although dosing it correctly requires a bit of work, since it's active at .5 mg. I don't have a problem obtaining benzos from my doctor at all, I just can't afford to go see her (uninsured American who ironically makes too much to get public assistance). Sad state of affairs, right?

Continued good luck to those of you still struggling. And to those of you who just started participating in this thread, "keep coming back, it works" as they say in AA. This thread has done so much more for me than AA ever did and even though sometimes it's a little triggering to read it, I always feel better after I do.
 
Mariposa said:
...I've been under a lot of stress...

hopefully alleviate some of my anxiety...

Alcohol is so effective as an anxiolytic up to a certain point
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I just want to add about the anxiety thing Mariposa, that since getting myself sober nearly four weeks ago my anxiousness/nervousness has decreased a lot. I use(d) alcohol to get me over those feelings too and I think it has the opposite effect long term. It took two->three weeks sober before I started noticing the difference though.

To help my public speaking anxiety I went to my first Toastmasters meeting tonight:god it was tragic! People were laughing at piss-poor jokes and there were twenty minutes of speech evaluations at the end. As someone got up to evaluate the previous evaluator (I'm not making this up) I sat there wishing I was at an AA meet. At least you can have a laugh with ex-drunks.

I was the first one out the door and darted to my car, smoking sullenly before anyone could ask if I enjoyed it, and if I was going back!
 
^Well, good for you for going!

Oddly enough I am required to speak publicly on occasion and I don't find it at all anxiety provoking really. I did 4 years of debate and drama in high school, also, and played 3 instruments. I don't really get stage fright!

I do have panic disorder and am a little highly strung when I'm nervous/worried. I wish I had hit it off with someone in AA who wasn't newly sober, though I did give it until the soul-crushing Fourth Step. I stopped looking at the drunk stories with either amusement or horror when they started triggering me to drink. A lot of the stories I heard just made me uncomfortable, ill at ease, and sad.

I am glad you have found a program and fellowship that works for you! Keep up the good work. It is gratifying to hear that you are doing so well with this very important goal. :) And good luck with the public speaking - my best advice is to be yourself, know your material, and get a good night's sleep/eat a light meal before your speech.
 
i went to my first NA meeting today as ordered by the court, the first of 208 - i havent drink in 8 months, i sit around and watch people drink no problem, i even swished and spit a nice super tuscan last week, no problem. but that NA meeting had me craving alcohol like i had forgotten! it really pisses me off, i dont know if its because i went to meetings for so long in desperate sick sad times and that triggered me, or if it was the whole deal.

it was familiar in a lame way to tds, and i kept wanting to open my mouth when people would talk about cutting/steeling/hostility/mania heheh.

but i left there disturbed, and if i didnt know any better tonight would of been the night that i would of stopped off for an 18 pack. everyone was very nice of course, and i got lots of names and numbers, but it seems like nooo good for me, im going to keep going till i see my PO, but if its still bothering me, i will stop going to help myself in my treatment, and ask what the alternative programs are mentioned in the fine print... word of mouth isnt admissible in court - AA is not a fact - there is no success rate study - and any success is hearsay.

sorry, im pissed.
 
I didn't like going to AA's at first. I thought it was boring/embarrassing. Now I don't mind it at all, and everyone at the two main meetings I go to are sound.

It's horses for courses though, and I can understand why people might find it overly religious/brainwashing.

You could try the next town down the road and there might be a different set of people, or at least one or two you get on with.
 
Wow laser, I guess toastmasters maybe isn't as helpful as it seemed to be... I guess each group might be different and individual experiences are clearly different. =D At least you know that it won't be that helpful for you and your anxiety is getting better... Sorry for the suggestion that turned out to be bad...

Nice job with your sobriety though, and if AA works for you do it! If not, surround yourself with sober people and keep going. The main thing is that you have made huge strides and are doing amazingly well with your sobriety. Good job man! Wish you the best!!!! :D
 
LaserHosen said:
I didn't like going to AA's at first. I thought it was boring/embarrassing. Now I don't mind it at all, and everyone at the two main meetings I go to are sound.

It's horses for courses though, and I can understand why people might find it overly religious/brainwashing.

You could try the next town down the road and there might be a different set of people, or at least one or two you get on with.
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well ive been to hunderds of meetings, i used to live with my sponsorer lol, we'd have meetings at his house every few days and go out to all sorts of them in the city. i think this may of had something to do with it, reminding me of when i was young, and into the needles and wrapped up in the life style. the thought/feeling of my family worrying to death during this period of my life was there too, in that unfamiliar but similar room.

i dont struggle with my alcoholism, i have zero desire to trip use stimulants or drink no f'n way. its just gross and horrifying to me, and it was shocking leaving; then beginning to feel that desperation again. tds is a miracle, i wouldnt of dared come back to BL for that hard core NA part of my life, but this lil' link in the web is enormously helpful in comparison i feel after sleeping on it.
 
Oh, panic in paradise, it looks like I hadn't read your post properly. I was tired and didn't notice that you went because you had to.

I agree that AA isn't for everyone and there is more than one way to deal with alcoholism, and can only assume it's a similar thing with narcotics.

Sorry if it came across a bit preachy. :o
 
4 days sober. Nothing for some, but huge for me. This one wasn't physically as hard as other detoxes, though it was mentally terrible. As well, it's been 4 days and I am still getting the dry heaving and desire-to vomit after I eat or drink. Usually this goes away by the 4th day. I am hoping that it goes away within a few more, as I really hate that and want it to be done.
 
I'm an ex opiate user myself. after giving up opiates, goin to rehab and doing IOP for them i began drinking here and there. i slowly found myself losing control with drinking. luckily i picked up a copy of the AA big book. it's changed my point of view on not only drinking but drugs too. i highly suggest it to anyone with a problem.
 
and congrats red leader i'mso happy for you. keep up the good work i promise you all sobriety pays off in the end
 
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