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Alcoholism Thread V. ti martwonies

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well guys, things are looking pretty down for me. i'm always the one to tell someone not to drink and drive, and i never do. the one night i bring my car out i end up at the bar and decide to get behind the wheel. i backed into a car behind me and shortly after the police arrived. i blew a .22 BAC and was taken to jail for the night. charged with operating while intoxicated. this sucks, but even more so because i am already on probation for possession of drug paraphenalia (i had a bowl on me and got pulled over about a year ago)

looks like i might be goin to jail for a few days, but i'm not sure (haven't been to court yet)

i just needed a place to vent and people here are always understanding. i have since stopped drinking. has anyone else had an experience like this and how did it go? i'm not asking for legal advice but what do you guys think i could do to at least try to make some effort to improve my situation? is AA helpful? are there other programs i could look into?
 
Sorry to hear that, ElCoolMagnefico.

There's nothing wrong with trying AA. It's free and it might work for you. I haven't been for a few months butit did work for me for a while. The only way to know if it's gonna work for you is to give it a try and see what you feel. It isn't all people off the streets that go to AA meetings.
 
every attorney that ive had always asks right off if i have the money to pay the fine, now? if you can do that, round up $2k or so they might forgive you for now.

my situation sounds similar, except the first thing i did though was go and get another dui, then, i stopped drinking and did everything else i could to avoid trouble. the state i live in in the US threw all these new quirky odd 'tasks' that were not cheap; like being ordered to aplly for an ignition interlock, even if you are not going to drive, then you show up to apply and all the app asks for is a signature verifying you read it, and.... $100 btw

the best thing to do is be patient, listen to, and be real with your PO. or pay with cash.

i dont know you or how alcohol has affected your life but, if you can relate then this would be my best advice on how to approach this crossroad. my DUI's actually smacked the booze out of me after so many years of idiocy, stubbornness, and emotional/physical damage... im sorry for risking others, and the strain this has caused my loved ones, but when this stupid shit is over with, which it will, the misery of drinking will be over finally too.
 
I lived on Orcas island and was in first grade when Mt. St. Helens blew, it really had a profound impact on my little brain at the time as I witnessed forces greater than the powers of Dad.
Over the years I always paid attention to shows and articles documenting the area's recovery.
Yes, that was a nod to you lucky fools living up thataways.
 
paranoid android said:
Alcohol fucks up your ability to sleep right because you don't go into REM sleep. Also you tend to wake up more in the night. If your quitting your nerves are going to be shot so sleeping is going to be damn hard without some kind of sleeping pill to help.

Alcohol works on the gaba receptor just like benzodiazepines and the Z drugs suck as zopiclone, zolpidem and zaleplon. Though alcohol works abit differently and is alot worse drug then either of these. So when you go off alcohol the level of gaba your brain produces drops alot. Hence why terrible insomnia, seizures and extrememly bad nerves are common in severe alcohol withdrawal.
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Fuck, fuck, fuck. This weekend so very bad, Can hardly type. Why, why, do I continue to do this to myself? Am so alone and so tired. How can I face Monday after such a fucked up weekend? What is the point of this
 
ttownlcb2 said:
Fuck, fuck, fuck. This weekend so very bad, Can hardly type. Why, why, do I continue to do this to myself? Am so alone and so tired. How can I face Monday after such a fucked up weekend? What is the point of this
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Sob, sob, sob. After reading above posts. Have been blessed re drinking and driving. Am so careful as I work for courts and law firms. I have to pass background checks for all my jobs. I have been lucky that no alcohol checks have been done although I have processed many short living substances, and flew by. Alas, I am fearful, I have blown off tapering and am in the middle of a sunday bender. Why do I do this to myself? I am alone in this town, bored out of my mind, and only music and netflix keeps me going. I will never find the love I left behind to move here. That type of intelligence and appreciation of good books, music, conversation is not easy to find. I am drowning without it and there is no one on this planet that I can share that loss with.
 
TippyCup4Life said:
I lived on Orcas island and was in first grade when Mt. St. Helens blew, it really had a profound impact on my little brain at the time as I witnessed forces greater than the powers of Dad.
Over the years I always paid attention to shows and articles documenting the area's recovery.
Yes, that was a nod to you lucky fools living up thataways.
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we stayed on whidbey for several years, we lived on the beach with in walking distance from deception pass. from there we would look at orcas and mt constitution and wish, that the ferry wasnt so fucking expensive!

the land around helens is still dwarfed tundra, amazing after all these years.
 
I went to jail last night in a black out wreckd n totaled my car, walked 3 miles wearing nothing but my boxers and a t shirt n my hoody, a croc sandle on my left foot and jus a Asic running shoe on my right. I dunno how i went pantless and n 2 mixmatchd shoes. The food wasn't that bad still suckd, :\
i fuckd up big time, i dunno what the hell im suspose to deal with this shit. drinking n driving is messed up, I should have known better. Even some dude lent me a couch coushin for a pillow n crash n my car. so fuck i dunno my car is still out there n the hood. i lost my keys n cell phone. I cant call no one no phone.:(
 
Lately my drinking has become detrimental to my work. Even though it has only been a once-a-weekend type of deal, the hangovers have begun to spill over into the workdays.
So I decided to stop drinking, except at social functions, where I would limit myself to 5-6 beers. I did just that this saturday. I curbed my intake by taking Xanax (4 mg over the course of 7 hours, taken in 0,5 mg increments), and I had 6 beers. Apparently, it worked like a charm.

One caveat, though: when I came home, I took 10 mg of Ambien to get to sleep. 3-4 hours later I awoke with a small hangover, which was weird, considering that I had spaced out the beers over 7 hours. It was taken care of with some aspirin, and I went back to bed. Woke again 4 hours later, which is when I normally awake. However, sleep quality was not perfect.

My conclusion is that this is a much better solution than drinking large amounts of beer. I would rather curb my alcohol intake with BZDs than drinking 15 or more beers (at least).
 
I can never do that 3rd step, I know I am powerless over my drinking and drugging, I know that I cant fight this alone (need the spirituality), and when it comes down to making that decision to give my will and my life (along with all the drinking and drugging) over to the care of god I always freak out, and come up with something I can't give up. They say our secrets make us sick, and I really don't feel like telling people or god the bad stuff I have done.
I really don't know right from wrong. I mean I know not to rob a bank, and helping an old lady cross the street, but when it comes down to drinking, and drugging, and the things I do to get it?
The last place I wanted to be the other day was in some Andy Griffith jail, or how I wind up in projects, gay bars, and all the above? I wouldn't tell my mom I'm going to jail tonite, or going to get spun with 12 gay dudes? Then why do I think it's normal to have one drink?
 
welll, they say a higher power... i dont like that part but when i go a head and make myself think about oit i always go to nature, as discussed above.

i dont know, just enveloping the purity of plants, elements, reptiles, amphibians, animals, and how we all work together, and the balance of it all, i have to cave in and say, nature is my higher power.



_____________________________________________

this makes me wonder what everyone active in this thread would feel about step discussion, i personally am an alchy, but do not attended AA, but see the value in the discussion and methods.

what say you?
 
panic in paradise said:
i dont know, just enveloping the purity of plants, elements, reptiles, amphibians, animals, and how we all work together, and the balance of it all, i have to cave in and say, nature is my higher power.

this makes me wonder what everyone active in this thread would feel about step discussion, i personally am an alchy, but do not attended AA, but see the value in the discussion and methods.

what say you?
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The whole "god" thing always makes me think of some 1,000 foot man with a beard sitting in a throne. When ever I think of "higher power" I think of "god". I want to look outside tomorrow morning at the sunrise and believe that something greater than my power made the sun rise, and set.

the 12 steps do work, the thing I like about them is there is no "I" in the steps, it's all "we". Insanity is my big fear, I do things over, and over... blahlbalh u know the definition. I remember once hearing in a meeting that this guy "C", blew up his car in a black-out. I didn't quite blow my car up, I did total it.
I'm grateful to still be here, if that telephone pole went any closer on the drivers side I would have died for sure, and I don't want to die right now.
I feel like death with all the tough-love my family is giving me, and giving me the "I've bailed you out to many times drew.."*insanity* right?
I keep drinking for different results, "Well maybe I'll drink *lite* beer instead of the ***strong shit***.
In AA I remember them telling me that the solution to my drinking is in the big book.
I feel like the jay-walker story, (pg 37);
Our behavior is as absurd and incomprehensible with respect to the first drink as that of an individual with a passion, say, for jay-walking. He gets a thrill out of hanging out at bars. He enjoys himself for a few years in spite of friendly warnings. Up to this point you would label him as a foolish chap having queer ideas of fun. Luck then deserts him and he goes out on sprees several times in succession. Presently he gets drunk again and this time he ends up in the hospital. Within a week after leaving the hospital he's back drinking. He tells you he has decided to stop drinking for good, but in a few weeks he is back drinking.

On through the years this conduct continues, accompanied by his continual promises to be careful or to keep away from the bars altogether. Finally, he can no longer work, his wife gets a divorce and he is held up to ridicule. He tries every known means to get the drinking idea out of his head. He shuts himself up in an asylum**or jails**** and rehabs*, hoping to mend his ways. But the day he comes out he races back to the bar, which sets off another spree. Such a man would be crazy, wouldn't he?
You may think our illustration is too rdiculous. But is it? We, who have been through the wringer, have to admit if we substituted alcoholism for jay-walking, the illustration would fit us exactly.
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I feel like the jay-walker anyone else feel this way?
 
Just my thoughts, I am not in AA, nor have I been, but...

I really believe that if people could throw away their preconceptions of what God is, they would be better off in many ways. I guess it's about humility (the fact that you are not in control of everything), and that things happen for a reason (the world is not just a random place).

Belief in a Higher Power is such a helpful way of thinking about life, because it changes the individual's total responsibility for everything, something more managable, and perhaps most importantly, it makes it possible to be forgiven for anything you have done.

It's not about organized religion. It's simply a way of thinking that is beneficial.
 
panic in paradise said:
^
riiight...

well, i guess we could bump that, or merge what ever newt calls himself nows thread. ;)

or not...
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You have much more knowledge than I...I don't know newt.

I wasn't using this as an example of what's been done but something I found really useful. I'm not a religous person and find it hard to buy into something so religious...basically... "i personally am an alchy, but do not attended AA, but see the value in the discussion and methods."
 
well, its absolutely relative, out of respect i asked if we should bump samael(sp) thread, or just carry on and discuss the steps in a biased respectful manner.

we can go ahead and start if anyone wishes, i will here in a minute, to begin by sharing their thoughts and/or personal experiences with the first step.

the 12 steps of AA:

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
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9/10 times this topic goes down in flames, but please, if you dont have anything nice to say.... say it intelligently.
 
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