Hello , this is a good thread.
Nice post RedLeader , good luck mate ... and good luck to everyone.
I've been a moderately heavy drinker for over 10 years now , well over 10 actually but basically daily drinking almost without fail for 10+ years with no breaks. The only time off has been a day or 2 here and there if I've been very ill/disabled or for whatever reason broke or stranded , maybe 20-30 days all up here and there in the decade. Hell , even in "detox" I smuggled in some tequila and discreetly jumped the fence one night and ran to the bottlo and back. 8)
So I really like my booze , I've felt it like my medicine and even like a form fuel for 'vitality' and creativity , not to mention a tool for anxiety and depression and pain relief/stress etc. ... but Ofc , as any drinker knows , drink enough and drink often enough and your bound to come 'unstuck' eventually ... sometimes with negative results , whether it be simple stupid embarrassment or something much worse. I consider myself very lucky to be in the embarassing-shit category for most of my own mishaps but I have done some quite stupid things before too , nothing violent or too bad thankfully but I've been arrested for a few drunken things. Details best left unmentioned in this thread. %)
But these slip-ups are rare comparitively , maybe a few times a year I'll go overboard but the majority of the time I am just happy and 'moderate' in my behaviours. Generally the only time I've really considered cutting down or abstaining is the day after one of those overly drunken times , for the next few days depressed and just feel like shit ... but 2 days later I'm all good again and hit it like nothing very serious actually happened and people get too drunk all the time and do crazier shit than I , It get's hard to justify the ever lingering fact of alcohol dependance , (or should that be ; easier to ignore it). I'm almost positive many of you could relate to some of this.
Anyway ... Today (yesterday/Overnight actually) is my first completely alcohol-free day for ... I can't remember how long , maybe about 2 years ago when I got a really bad flu and couldn't get to the shops one day to re-stock ... that's the last day I remember , when your real crook and on other medz tho it's not hard to pass a day without a drop imo , In my earlier years I would actually like getting sick as It was the only time I'd take pharma drugs (like night flu tabs and codeine) and I wouldn't drink or smoke much if at all and the body would seem to get nicely rested and recovered , ready for more intoxication a few days later. 8) Unfortunatly these days with the habit so ingrained even sickness won't stop the 'need' for a drink , at least a few.
So yeh , sorry for the length of this but I'm still awake at this hour and I am actually sick at the moment and just trying to take my mind off how I feel , tiny bit of booze in the house and have cash but I've been slowly tapering down over the last few weeks so I decided to abstain today as I've cut down so far this week due to finances and now illness. Only 1 glass of wine and a shot of reserve Rum only yesterday , 5 small glasses of wine to sip all day the day before that and only 5 or 6 beers the day before that , so I've drank the least in the last few days than I have for many many years. I usually drink beer , lots of it and over last couple of years I drink mainly light beers now , still just as many beers (12+ a night minimum) but not so groggy , easier on the liver and better for my wallet too
I've been successful with that and that's why the 'drunken incidents' have really waned off the last couple of years and I can still enjoy my beers even tho I am still an alcho.
I was upto demolishing most of a carton (24) of full strength beers a day/night when I realized It was getting a bit ridiculous , plus the price went up on my favourite drop so I had to change my ways before I dropped dead of organ failure and/or went into debt to keep up my dastardly habit. Took me a while to switch over to the lights or mid-strength Beers , I was back and forth with it for years but in the last couple I've been pretty consistent with it ... and some of the Australian light beers are quite good beers. I even drink it at the pub most of the time these days , sure do have to watch myself if I go the full strength now though lol but it comes with self-control and practice ... much like abstinence I suppose. I do still get quite drunk most of the time though.
I want to keep drinking as I enjoy drinking with my smoking and other 'activities' and It's also probably the best anti-anxiety 'med' I know of that works for me , I just couldn't be social how I'd like to be without it.
Nevertheless , I recognize I have this problem and no doubt deeper underlying problems aswell ... not sure what my life would be without the grog , It's very hard to even imagine it but it crosses my mind from time to time (like atm obviously). I know I'm slowly killing myself with it , even though I felt great for so many years getting hammered every night and recovering quickly now I'm starting to feel it all catching up with me , I've really pushed my body and that's partly because of the adrenalin rush of alcohol ... even with no food in the system you can just go and go ... no doubt sapping your 'vitality' that may be needed in future life (or later in the level ; for the Wonderboy reference
)
Well , I hope that was worth reading to anyone ... Not sure if "cutting down" is an option for many people with serious addictions but it can be done with some success , I know others that have been heavy drinkers in the past and can still have a good few each night , even getting a bit tipsy but knowing when enough is enough ... admittedly most of these people are a little older than most around here I'd guess so they've had alot more experience and practice ... but I at least know there's hope for me/us yet , I'd be quite happy to be a six-pack-a-night kind of drinker ... and I have a feeling I Will finally start to 'slow down' in the coming years as most people eventually do so I can see it happening and maybe I won't poison myself to death before I'm 50 :D
Anyway ... All the Best to everyone here , I wish you well.
I promise my next post won't be as long , consider this my alcho-introduction to give a bit of background and plz permit it as somewhat of a therapuetic outlet for me on this non-alcoholic night of near misery ... It's been good to be able to think about it aswell as keeping me distracted from it at the same time. I guess the Benzo and buds has helped a little too. %)
Cheers all.