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alcoholism thread [merged]
- Thread starter sushii
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usdathashield
Bluelighter
well, from what i was told, the cops were here as well. i didnt get charged with anything, but my mom hasnt been saying to much as shes like having a nervous breakdown because of me.
i think my landlord was just pissed the cops and ambulance were here for such a stupid reason so they are kicking us out at the end of the month.
thx for the support.
i think my landlord was just pissed the cops and ambulance were here for such a stupid reason so they are kicking us out at the end of the month.
thx for the support.
That really sucks that the landlord is doing that. Very rude and very inconsiderate, in such a time of need for you and your mum. Have you found somewhere else to stay??usdathashield said:well, from what i was told, the cops were here as well. i didnt get charged with anything, but my mom hasnt been saying to much as shes like having a nervous breakdown because of me.
i think my landlord was just pissed the cops and ambulance were here for such a stupid reason so they are kicking us out at the end of the month.
thx for the support.
I hope you and your mum work things out. She loves you very much, always remember that.
Come back and tell us how you're doing if you like, we're always here to listen!
usdathashield
Bluelighter
thanks for your kind comments again. its more unfortunate for my mom, that im making my problems hers. my family and my building dont need that shit. i should have manned up and dealt with my emotional problems.
i tried fooling myself for the past year by saying i dont look like an addict so im not an addict, but i guess we know now that was just bullshit. anyways, the rehab i might be going to again is free via my dads work union, so im very lucky that way. its a 35 day program. i went for 12 days before, i had to leave cuz of some stomach problems. this time ill likely be able to go thru with the entire program. im just worried about losing my decent paying job.
i tried fooling myself for the past year by saying i dont look like an addict so im not an addict, but i guess we know now that was just bullshit. anyways, the rehab i might be going to again is free via my dads work union, so im very lucky that way. its a 35 day program. i went for 12 days before, i had to leave cuz of some stomach problems. this time ill likely be able to go thru with the entire program. im just worried about losing my decent paying job.
panic in paradise
Bluelighter
yeah i love or am lustful for OP's, and weed, BUT i never consider alcohol a DOC, but i wind up shaking for it, addicted mentally and psychically. my subconscious or something seems to take over, and i get smashed, alone, falling over, laughing with my self, or at my self. at that state who knows the difference, and/or whats the difference.
its obliterating self destruction.
on opiates, i feel confident, thoughtful of my choice of words or actions, motivated, creative, and gab full. but that comes at a high cost as well, as far as money goes, and the moral deconstruction of trying to tap collapsed veins, and bleeding all over my self. that is if you bang as i do/did/will. i have always been a good chipper, respecting the power of morpheus.
AgentSquish
Bluelighter
How's everyone doin? Just wanted to drop in and say hello. Been going to Alcoholics Anonymous just about everyday, and man I'm really startin to feel somethin. For those of you who are on your way to recovery, I would like to say this:
When you're thinking about drinkin and/or druggin, never tell yourself you are going to have to quit forever. That scares a lot of people, as it scared the shit out of me. I can't imagine a life without alcohol. BUT, I can imagine being sober, TODAY. Today is all we have. We don't have yesterday, and we don't have tomorrow. Don't drink and drug a day at a time, and find a higher power. It doesn't have to be Jesus, it doesen't have to be God, it doesn't have to have a name of any kind. But just know, that you're not alone, someone, or something is watching out for you. That higher power could be your neighbor, it could be an instant where you were at the right place at the right time, it could be anything. Its not about being sober for the rest of your lives, its about being sober, today.
When you're thinking about drinkin and/or druggin, never tell yourself you are going to have to quit forever. That scares a lot of people, as it scared the shit out of me. I can't imagine a life without alcohol. BUT, I can imagine being sober, TODAY. Today is all we have. We don't have yesterday, and we don't have tomorrow. Don't drink and drug a day at a time, and find a higher power. It doesn't have to be Jesus, it doesen't have to be God, it doesn't have to have a name of any kind. But just know, that you're not alone, someone, or something is watching out for you. That higher power could be your neighbor, it could be an instant where you were at the right place at the right time, it could be anything. Its not about being sober for the rest of your lives, its about being sober, today.
AgentSquish
Bluelighter
chicpoena said:
Yes it is.
n3ophy7e said:
You're welcome! Everyday I go to AA, I learn so much, and if I didn't give back, I wouldn't be doing what I know what I was meant to do, simply helping.
Animal Mother
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jun 6, 2007
- Messages
- 3,411
Still drinking. Still don't care.
Alcoholism is the best addiction ever.
Alcoholism is the best addiction ever.
double ewe
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Mar 13, 2008
- Messages
- 2,143
Animal Mother said:
Ugh. Starting to think I feel the same way.
My functionality seems like my downfall. I can't commit to kicking anything until I'm facing full and complete failure. Otherwise I just tell myself "ah, fuckit, I get my shit done, I'm fine."
And I know that having 2 or 3 drinks every day isn't a drinking problem. So I keep telling myself that that's what I'm doing. A couple drinks at the end of the day. But by the time I finally get to bed, 2 or 3 has turned into 8 or 10 or 12. And it's not like it's a huge part of my day. I'm way more into athletics and marijuana - it's just that "having a beer" is such a natural thing. And that would be fine, except by the time I'm done with two, I'm just going to keep drinking until I'm asleep. And since I don't really ever get "drunk," I don't have those "red flag" behaviors (verbal/physical violence, irresponsible sex, missing work, etc.). So it's easy to convince myself that what I'm doing is normal, even when the empties in the recycling tell a different story.
I'm a happy, healthy, intelligent, athletic, social 24 year old. I have good relationships with friends, family and my girlfriend. I go to work, I study, and I'm a competitive distance runner. But there's just this part of me that worries I'm going to wake up one day as a 45 year old who has to pick up a fifth of scotch every day before breakfast.
Spurs_1882
Bluelighter
Animal Mother said:
I know what you mean, 100%, but unfortunately it seems like these things only ever get worse over time
![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
My issues/Monkey study/Ideas about topiramate?
Howdy everyone. I've had problems with binge drinking for a long time. I think it's because I take an antidepressant and alcohol consumption with antidepressants basically makes me go nuts. I have no other mental health issues other than dysthymia (low grade depression...runs in family). There's also a serious familial history of alcoholism.
I've been jailed for getting out of hand on alcohol (well, entered neighbor's house by accident, passed out, was not very pleasant when awoken by police). I'm a professional with a great career (which includes mandatory background check...thank goodness I pled not guilty and wiggled out of a conviction)
I've also had a lot of unsafe sexual encounters and was date raped (well, more like party raped) because of the effects of alcohol. In addition, I've lost many friends due to the obnoxiousness I exhibit when very drunk.
I'm working on these issues, but just wanted to bring to light a study I read re. why some people are prone to drink in excess. The study utilized monkeys (poor little critters) who were given access to alcohol by pressing a lever. Some monkeys were able to satiate at the 2-3 drink level, and didn't seek additional alcohol. A smaller subgroup continued to drink well past satiation to the point of passing out, getting completely wasted.
When their blood was measured (throughout the experiment, not just at the end point), the monkeys who "abused" the access to alcohol were shown to have higher level of dopamine in their blood. This was described as an early onset "dopamine spike" with exposure to alcohol.
Dopamine is one of the primary pleasure inducing neurotransmitters, as you probably know. This explained a lot to me....the reason I immediately feel great when ingesting alcohol, and all resolutions to limit intake go out the window. I think Dopamine effects the ability to inhibit responses/impulses as well. Just some helpful info.
Finally, if you feel like you're in a black hole re. the inability to curb or eliminate consumption, there are some drugs that can help. Of course antabuse is the oldie but goodie, but there's a new one out called Topiramate that reduces cravings and the high from alcohol. See results from study below. Good luck everyone.
The significant differences between the groups became apparent at weeks 6 and 8 and increased as the study progressed. Compared with the placebo group, by the end of the study the patients treated with topiramate reported having 2.88 fewer drinks per day, 3.10 fewer drinks per drinking day, 27.6 fewer days of heavy drinking, and 26.2 more days of abstinence. Changes in the gamma-glutamyl transferase ratio indicated significantly decreased alcohol intake in the treated group. These differences between the groups also were apparent in measures of cravings during treatment.
Howdy everyone. I've had problems with binge drinking for a long time. I think it's because I take an antidepressant and alcohol consumption with antidepressants basically makes me go nuts. I have no other mental health issues other than dysthymia (low grade depression...runs in family). There's also a serious familial history of alcoholism.
I've been jailed for getting out of hand on alcohol (well, entered neighbor's house by accident, passed out, was not very pleasant when awoken by police). I'm a professional with a great career (which includes mandatory background check...thank goodness I pled not guilty and wiggled out of a conviction)
I've also had a lot of unsafe sexual encounters and was date raped (well, more like party raped) because of the effects of alcohol. In addition, I've lost many friends due to the obnoxiousness I exhibit when very drunk.
I'm working on these issues, but just wanted to bring to light a study I read re. why some people are prone to drink in excess. The study utilized monkeys (poor little critters) who were given access to alcohol by pressing a lever. Some monkeys were able to satiate at the 2-3 drink level, and didn't seek additional alcohol. A smaller subgroup continued to drink well past satiation to the point of passing out, getting completely wasted.
When their blood was measured (throughout the experiment, not just at the end point), the monkeys who "abused" the access to alcohol were shown to have higher level of dopamine in their blood. This was described as an early onset "dopamine spike" with exposure to alcohol.
Dopamine is one of the primary pleasure inducing neurotransmitters, as you probably know. This explained a lot to me....the reason I immediately feel great when ingesting alcohol, and all resolutions to limit intake go out the window. I think Dopamine effects the ability to inhibit responses/impulses as well. Just some helpful info.
Finally, if you feel like you're in a black hole re. the inability to curb or eliminate consumption, there are some drugs that can help. Of course antabuse is the oldie but goodie, but there's a new one out called Topiramate that reduces cravings and the high from alcohol. See results from study below. Good luck everyone.
The significant differences between the groups became apparent at weeks 6 and 8 and increased as the study progressed. Compared with the placebo group, by the end of the study the patients treated with topiramate reported having 2.88 fewer drinks per day, 3.10 fewer drinks per drinking day, 27.6 fewer days of heavy drinking, and 26.2 more days of abstinence. Changes in the gamma-glutamyl transferase ratio indicated significantly decreased alcohol intake in the treated group. These differences between the groups also were apparent in measures of cravings during treatment.
Hi Milly, thanks for sharing your story
I can definitely relate to what you're saying about the monkey study. It makes total sense.
I am currently on naltrexone, and have been on it for about a month now. On weekends I tend not to take it because
a) I want to drink on the weekends, and
b) I DO drink on weekends, and if I take the naltrexone, I get bad withdrawals.
The naltrexone is really helping me to not drink during the week, which is what I was so worried about, as it was getting out of control and affecting my work. But I am finding that even on the naltrexone, if I WANT to drink, I can easily drink through it and get completely wasted. In fact, I get WAY more drunk than I used to because my tolerance is down from not drinking through the week. So I rarely remember my weekends now...
The naltrexone is extremely effective at preventing the "euphoria" that I used to get from drinking, i.e. the dopamine seen in those alcoholic monkeys! I never get euphoric from drinking now, but I still get drunk...
I can definitely relate to what you're saying about the monkey study. It makes total sense.
I am currently on naltrexone, and have been on it for about a month now. On weekends I tend not to take it because
a) I want to drink on the weekends, and
b) I DO drink on weekends, and if I take the naltrexone, I get bad withdrawals.
The naltrexone is really helping me to not drink during the week, which is what I was so worried about, as it was getting out of control and affecting my work. But I am finding that even on the naltrexone, if I WANT to drink, I can easily drink through it and get completely wasted. In fact, I get WAY more drunk than I used to because my tolerance is down from not drinking through the week. So I rarely remember my weekends now...
The naltrexone is extremely effective at preventing the "euphoria" that I used to get from drinking, i.e. the dopamine seen in those alcoholic monkeys! I never get euphoric from drinking now, but I still get drunk...
Animal Mother said:
i think nostalgically of my drives to the city on cold winter nights to take a class. i'd keep a mickey of gin in the glove box and when i got back to the car after class the first thing i'd do is take 4-5 big rips. hey, it worked quicker than waiting for the heating to come on!
it would take me about 40-50 min to drive home from the city through all the interconnected towns in between, so there was nothing more relaxing than listening to some great tunes in the serenity of the car, warm and buzzed off some good bombay sapphire.
sometimes, i'd add to my pleasure by stopping mid-way at my favorite burger joint and ffffffffuck me... does that juicy angus beef ever taste GOOD after some gin. sometimes i'd have the poutine instead. i'd sit in the quiet corner booth by the windows, turn off my cell and watch the snow fall silently in the dark outside. at times like that, i truly felt like my brain had slowed to a stop and i was experiencing that moment of beautiful fucking enlightenment some might get by meditating.
nobody ever knew about my routine, and i think back fondly on it now.
Animal Mother
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jun 6, 2007
- Messages
- 3,411
Oh my god. Sometimes I just buy some Beer or Whiskey and drive around drinking listening to music, not even going any where in particular.
And when I do, I feel like picking up some arbys.
And when I do, I feel like picking up some arbys.
I got drunk the other night for the first time since june. Drank some jack daniels and rum along with the morphine, clonazepam and gabapentin i take everyday. I also had some demerol.
I got pretty wasted and don't even remember talking to a friend of mine on the phone. I never get alcohol cravings while im on opiates but for some reason ive been getting them pretty bad the past week. Too bad i don't get much euphoria if any from the alcohol when im on morphine. Maybe it's because ive been in alot of pain this past week that ive felt like drinking. It kinda numbs everything out.
I wish it was as fun as it used to be 5 years ago when i officially quit but sadly it's not. It also tends to drag up bad memories and make my bipolar worse sometimes.
Unfortunately christmas is coming up pretty damn soon and that always makes me want to drink. I used to drink all christmas with my friends most of whom are either dead, near death or gone away now. Thats yet another reason why i get sad around christmas now.
I got pretty wasted and don't even remember talking to a friend of mine on the phone. I never get alcohol cravings while im on opiates but for some reason ive been getting them pretty bad the past week. Too bad i don't get much euphoria if any from the alcohol when im on morphine. Maybe it's because ive been in alot of pain this past week that ive felt like drinking. It kinda numbs everything out.
I wish it was as fun as it used to be 5 years ago when i officially quit but sadly it's not. It also tends to drag up bad memories and make my bipolar worse sometimes.
Unfortunately christmas is coming up pretty damn soon and that always makes me want to drink. I used to drink all christmas with my friends most of whom are either dead, near death or gone away now. Thats yet another reason why i get sad around christmas now.
Yep, even though the end of the year is a time for celebration and joy, it is also often a time of sadness, loneliness, mourning, etc. It's also a really tough time for ex-alcoholics! So I really feel for you paranoid
But hang in there. I'm not going to tell you what to do but try not to drink too much this holiday season. It just makes the sadness worse. Have you got some family/relatives or friends who you can hang out with that don't drink? That would possibly help reduce the temptation to drink...
But hang in there. I'm not going to tell you what to do but try not to drink too much this holiday season. It just makes the sadness worse. Have you got some family/relatives or friends who you can hang out with that don't drink? That would possibly help reduce the temptation to drink...
drug_wench
Bluelight Crew
ouch paranoid - i didnt know u were going thru this! talk to me on MSN soon mate!
Dxmmonster
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jul 5, 2008
- Messages
- 1,003
is 5-10 bottles of beer a day too much(big bottles, 600ml)??
my dad is an alcoholic and I dont want to become one.
my dad is an alcoholic and I dont want to become one.
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