Alcoholism Discussion Thread Version 7.0

[closeau]

I agreevwith phactor. My life is changing so fast, its overwhelming. Im quetioning everything at this point. I should do what was suggested to me a long time ago. Let go and let God. Im getting hit at all angles and cant seem to be losing my grip. Idk what to do

 

[itchyscratchy]

I got drunk as hell during the entire holidays. Woke up everyday, like exactly that.
I got drunk during the holidays.
So??? ...It's the holidays!
Now, I'm going to leave it alone, till I see fit. - or the next holiday.
this is coming from a man that mixed rubbing alcohol with cola when the liquor stores were closed on Sunday. - but dollar stores opened early.
Be stoic.
"Progressive" what does that mean? Exactly.
Glitter... You'll be alright.
Just be careful not to get convinced it's a decease, at those meetings.
I swear, every time I went, it was like a brag fest of who's life got more screwed up by alcohol.
'I lost my wife'... 'Well... Iost my house'.... The only thing I lost, was my patience.
Happy 2016!

 

[x2theC]

So, haven't posted since Ver. 6.0 back in 2014. Needless to say I am alive and kicking. Still drinking, however I have gained some what of a greater degree of control over it. Granted I lost a relationship with my now ex-gf over it and nearly been kicked out of my mothers (after being kicked out from my dads). But im holding down a job at the moment and completing my degree. I went on a course called 'Intuitive Recovery' which I can only recommend anyone in the UK look at. 10 and 1/2 hrs over 4 days blasted a year of weekly meetings with a local d&a service. Looking back at my old posts, I'm so glad I can write this today instead of following through with what I said. x

 

[closeau]

Sounds cool man. I wish they had a good drug couseler who is addict themselve here. I have a therapist but shes not. Ive been in and out of AA for a decade now and it has helped me immensly. I got unexpected break with not having a car. Well i needed it cause ive decided to stop AA for awhile. Im just so burned out on it in general. If i start thinking about drinking ill go immediatly but its taught me about life more than anything. Im staying in sister fellowship so i will have spinser and hit def one meeting a week. Went this past Sat and it was really what i needed. Goid mix if people. I needed a change plus i wont go into it cause this is an alcoholic thread but i qualify. I thought sitting in rehab 10 years ago how my life would never be the same. Man i was wrong. If nothing changes, nothing changes. Dozens of relapses and white chips taught me humility. Ive only had one guy say ill drink again but most everybody send their best wishes. Ill still post in sober living but not this thread. Ine reminder, you can stikk have all your shjt but if you drink alcoholicy, youll lose it at some point. Thats just my experience. I still had everything, lost a girl and in next year lost everything. Job, car, townhome. I lived back here with my mom. Then physical effects of alcoholusm came and had me disabled. Ill stop in every once and awhile to see friends but ive gotten stuff back but it took a lit of time and money and staying sober. Ill have a year Feb 6th. Might have to get that chip. Never got one. Then im on my way to NA to address my new problem. So my point was, dont be fooled by having you job ir stuff. It can go bye bye quick. Peace, serenity, and sobriety to all you guys out here. Keep at it and never give up

 

[SKL]

In legitimate alcohol withdrawal, stage I or I and a half I guess, maybe in and out of stage II, it sucks a big one obvi. Trying to transition from holiday 24/7 daydrinking to at least only drinking myself to sleep. Yesterday I made it till about 10pm but had like 4mg klonipin on board and was suffering intense tremors, nausea, muscle and chest tightness, paranoia, anergia, etc. Spent the whole day in bed posting random bullshit in The Lounge to try and distract myself. Had actual minimal alcohol intake last night (half a pint of vodka maybe?) plus all the klon + more klon + vistaril + ramelteon ... managed sleep but with disturbing dreams ... woke up early feeling surprisingly OK but rapidly took a turn for the worse as presumably the small amt of booz and bzd left my system. Took my usual am klon dose (0.5mg), ordered some food, ate it, then been in and out of delirious, fearful, but ominously symbolic semi-dreams ... taking my first drink now ... making it worse I have a concomitant upper respiratory bug and my GI system is acting up something fierce. Called in sick to work x3 days our maximum hopefully can get back on some reasonable schedule before then. Seriously considering inpatient detox. Signing off now because posting coherent stuff about my issues is a bit much for now. Wishing all of you the best and sincerest thanks for the support I've got off this thread.

 

[weekend addiction]

^Good luck dude. I got through all that a few days back now I'm just missing my old drunk life. Its nice getting stuff done and not needing 3 beers every morning. Being an alcoholic fucking sucks. Its my life and I'm taking it back. I'd rather be sober and miserable than drunk and miserable any day. At least this way I can make some changes.

 

[SKL]

feeling about 80% better after slamming about 250ml of vodka but also feeling shitty
because it confirms the depths of the amount of shit I have gotten myself into with booze
it was not long ago that I (knowing full well that it sounds like usual denialism)
was saying oh I don't day drink every day I'm not that far along

 

[closeau]

SKL, im proud of you man. Doesnt matter if you dont drink everyday. If you got a problem.....its a problem. Impatient detox is a gret way to get a fresh mind and perspective. Then you can decide if a program is for you. Our detox has 2 dais medical side and then some time across the building in the living section like a mini rehab and you go to the meetings that are brought in. Ive been in there and ove helped bring a meeting in there so ive been on both sides. Good luck to you man!

 

[MYgenitalWartsROCK]

story

"Hello my name is MYgenitalWartsROCK and im an young alcoholic" haha (I made that name before I saw the value in sites like this.) anyways im 21 and saying I drink fifth a gin a day is conservative. ive tried antabuse and hated it but I just started naltrexone today and instead of hittin the LC and picking up a bottle for work, well okay it was on my mind pretty as often as normal guy thinks about sex but I did not go. I did bring 2 beers at work and had them at midnight when everyone was gone which was a small victory yet; normally im stumbling around with gin and juice which is the first thing i make after I clock in but as im sure much of you know the effect of two beers. anyway been nursing one for since I got home for like 6 hours. hope I can get through the insomnia the next couple days to week. but idk I have high hopes for this time. Im glad Im able to identify my problem at this age but The hard part for me is that 9 months ago the government told me and my friends we can finally drink with everyone and but I cant drink at all. im just rambling im surprised if you made it this far but thanks for reading. cheers

 

[MYgenitalWartsROCK]

RDP89, If they were all about religioun the first step would be to find god and go to church. Its not. The only guideline to joining the program is admitting we were powerless over our addiction - that our lives had become unmanageable" and step 2 isn't even about god. just to believe in something bigger than you. could be a tree. not even physically bigger than you give a special meaning to a fucking rock I don't know

 

[aihfl]

"Hello my name is MYgenitalWartsROCK and im an young alcoholic" haha (I made that name before I saw the value in sites like this.) anyways im 21 and saying I drink fifth a gin a day is conservative. ive tried antabuse and hated it but I just started naltrexone today and instead of hittin the LC and picking up a bottle for work, well okay it was on my mind pretty as often as normal guy thinks about sex but I did not go. I did bring 2 beers at work and had them at midnight when everyone was gone which was a small victory yet; normally im stumbling around with gin and juice which is the first thing i make after I clock in but as im sure much of you know the effect of two beers. anyway been nursing one for since I got home for like 6 hours. hope I can get through the insomnia the next couple days to week. but idk I have high hopes for this time. Im glad Im able to identify my problem at this age but The hard part for me is that 9 months ago the government told me and my friends we can finally drink with everyone and but I cant drink at all. im just rambling im surprised if you made it this far but thanks for reading. cheers

That's awesome you've figured that out at your age. I went to a speaker meeting where the speaker was a 20 YO. I thought that was awesome she figured out she had a problem at that age.

 

[closeau]

I continue to get chocked up when i hear a young person is trying. My while like would be completly different if id sobered up at 20. Ive put down the bottle but all the bad decisions i made financially and otherwise bc of alcohol remain. So its tough when you get older cause youve accumulated so much bad shit, its overwhelming. Why step 1 can do everyday. Still powerless over alcohol and life still umanagabe. So i def root for these young bucks who try to sober up. Cheers to you

 

[aihfl]

I continue to get chocked up when i hear a young person is trying. My while like would be completly different if id sobered up at 20. Ive put down the bottle but all the bad decisions i made financially and otherwise bc of alcohol remain. So its tough when you get older cause youve accumulated so much bad shit, its overwhelming. Why step 1 can do everyday. Still powerless over alcohol and life still umanagabe. So i def root for these young bucks who try to sober up. Cheers to you

Closeau, the girl who spoke at this meeting started drinking and drugging at 15 and sobered up at 18, so at 20, she already has 2 yrs. Isn't that fucking amazing? And you are right. I completely fucked up my life and have the destroyed marriage and relationship, wrecked finances and lost job to prove it. You are so right, the older you get the more bad shit that accumulates.

 

[RDP89]

RDP89, If they were all about religioun the first step would be to find god and go to church. Its not. The only guideline to joining the program is admitting we were powerless over our addiction - that our lives had become unmanageable" and step 2 isn't even about god. just to believe in something bigger than you. could be a tree. not even physically bigger than you give a special meaning to a fucking rock I don't know

Yes, I know all that and I never said AA was all about religion, I was simply stating that the groups that say the lord's prayer at the end of the meeting were hypocritical. It's not even a general prayer, it's specific to a certain religion. Anyway, I know AA helps alot of people(my mother included), but there are numerous things in the program that I just can't get down with. That said, I would recommend 12 step programs to anyone trying to get sober as they may find great value in it, and there are people in there with a lot of time sober who wish to help people. I'm just grateful to have almost two weeks clean and sober and trying to get my life on track. Best wishes to all.

 

[aihfl]

Yes, I know all that and I never said AA was all about religion, I was simply stating that the groups that say the lord's prayer at the end of the meeting were hypocritical. It's not even a general prayer, it's specific to a certain religion.

I'm Jewish. I don't believe in the Lord's Prayer, but I believe in AA enough that the way I deal with it: I just simply don't say it, and when I'm asked to close a meeting, I either choose the AA responsibility pledge or the "we" version of the serenity prayer. It's not hypocritical at all. And I know plenty of atheists/agnostics in AA that deal with it the same way.

 

[equatorgringo]

Hello everyone! Been a avid reader/browser here for a while and when I came across this thread it really felt good to read other people's experiences whether bad or good...just knowing other people also have this problem and how they are dealing with it.

I have been drinking steadily almost every day since I was 18, I am now 28. I don't drink in the morning nor at work nothing like that...I realize that may be just a "for now" thing. I drink every single night though of the week, maybe take a day or two off every couple weeks. But at least 3 beers or 2 glasses of wine or 2 whiskeys, at least...at max can be worse. I usually don't try and get hammered unless I am out with friends. It doesn't sound like a lot but I mean it is not a good thing at all. I am a very habitual person with crazy addictive behaviour.

I had a coke issue when I was 16-17 and after OD'ing once I managed to shake it completely other than a few times a year on a night out. Problem is I live somewhere now where the stuff is very inexpensive and high quality, and it came back to my life. Now I have found a new addiction which is cocaethylene and I can't for the life of me stop doing it almost every single night...since July 2015. I have researched and I understand how lethal that shit is but I just can't control myself I am going through a stage of very little will. 2 times a week I find myself going to sleep at 5am after half a bottle or more and half a gram. Then going to work the next day and just being lousy piece of shit. Other nights I am asleep before midnight off some drinks and couple bumps or no bumps.

My wife has had it with me, I am not doing my job very well (although I am self employed I still have to answer to people and run a business), and my life is generally suffering from this habit.

I can't do coke without drinking, but I can't drink and sustain from the coke. If I have it I will most likely do it. I have very bad anxiety and I think I turn to the booze to help me with it as well as to help me sleep. After researching I think the anxiety came from the coke abuse when I was a teenager. The booze is really at the root of it all.

I don't know what to do. I need to stop. I just don't know where to get the fucking will to do it. Every once in a while I just break down and cry. There are no rehabs here, they don't sell those pills that make you sick if you drink. My wife drinks socially but responsibly, she also does coke when she wants but it is not a THING for her like it is for me. I can sustain for like 3 days MAX and then I just lose it and go back into the nightly cycle. I can't imagine the damage I am doing to my body.

Thank you for reading it feels really good to just say this even if it is to a bunch of anonymous readers that I don't actually see.

 

[aihfl]

But at least 3 beers or 2 glasses of wine or 2 whiskeys, at least...at max can be worse. I usually don't try and get hammered unless I am out with friends. It doesn't sound like a lot but I mean it is not a good thing at all. I am a very habitual person with crazy addictive behavior.

You mean 3 beers or 2 glasses of wine or 2 whiskeys FOR NOW. It's good that you realize this is a potential problem because that number will inevitably grow if you're drinking out of habit. It's not a platitude that alcoholism is a progressive disease. It really is. I never imagined how shitty my life would be today 15 years ago.

I don't know what to do. I need to stop. I just don't know where to get the fucking will to do it. Every once in a while I just break down and cry. There are no rehabs here, they don't sell those pills that make you sick if you drink.

A place to start is a NA meeting, where we "share our experience, strength and hope." Also, people travel to rehabs all the time. Even though I went to a local rehab in Florida there were people from all over the country there. And those little pills that make you sick…doesn't work. It is considered an outdated therapy. Serious alcoholics learn how to game the pills.

even if it is to a bunch of anonymous readers that I don't actually see.

You actually can "see" many of us in the before/after pictures thread!

Welcome!

 

[equatorgringo]

Thank you aihfl

Since posting I took that night off, but next night same shit...and this weekend same shit is planned. Already called dealer and picked up booze, heading to beach with wife and friends. My wife told me the other day you have a death wish and some times I wish it would come and take you out of your misery. That fucking hurt, and then I went straight to a drink to feel better. I am a fucking miserable black hole is what she said later.

 

[DrinksWithEvil]

Dwe here currently 28 been drinking since 17 . Drank about a fifth and half a day of vodka. Last run was for 2 years and on methadone had a seizure in jail etc . 38 days clean today (in rehab) my doc is opiates but alchohol is what really takes me to my knees because of how it deteriates me and how it makes me act

On oPiates I'm nice and happy on booze I'm totally unproductive and mean. Im afraid of drinking again because of social anxiety and if I drink I'm getting opiates no matter what then I'm in jail or dead

My worst was dry heaving everyday shaking waking up goIng to the store at 5am barely being able to pee cuz of shaking so bad plus I have hep c

Dunno I'm just rambling just scared of the bottle ruining me again

 

[Jabberwocky]

I need to stop drinking. It's costing me these days roughly $500 a week Australian as I go to the pub and drink. Tolerance for beer has gone through the roof and I dislike drinking other stuff except for on the odd occasion as I get bad indigestion / heart burn.

Have been out of work for over a year now because of alcohol. Am constantly pawning items to get alcohol or am borrowing off everyone I know.

I have tried AA with not much success.

At present life sucks, I've become a type of person I used to despise.