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Alcoholism Discussion Thread Version 6.0

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Vaya said:
This seems to have become a venue for you all to support each others' alcoholic behavior.... Why don't we scale it back a bit in order for this thread to serve its truer purpose?

I know when I would wake-up-drink, or drink on the job (was drinking a 40 resting behind the pile of pizza boxes I was folding and stacking at the time!) i would have loved a place to 'check-in' on my fellow alcoholics... It's just unfortunate that that isn't the purpose of the Alcoholism Discussion thread, as it were ;)
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im sorry, i know ive been a big source of these posts, it seems like half the time im trying to quit and the rest im going off on another bender. Ill try to be more carefull inwhat i post in this thread in the future
 
Vaya said:
This seems to have become a venue for you all to support each others' alcoholic behavior.... Why don't we scale it back a bit in order for this thread to serve its truer purpose?

I know when I would wake-up-drink, or drink on the job (was drinking a 40 resting behind the pile of pizza boxes I was folding and stacking at the time!) i would have loved a place to 'check-in' on my fellow alcoholics... It's just unfortunate that that isn't the purpose of the Alcoholism Discussion thread, as it were ;)
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I have to agree. Let's get this back on track and focus on a message of recovery. Far be it for me to tell others what to post to or not, but if you do not intend on either moderating or recovering then maybe create a "drunks" thread on OD (no offense intended with the term "drunk", because I am probably one of the biggest ones here. I am just not an active one. Still a fuckin drunk bigtime though. Always will be.)

Still clean today, have major fucking money problems (aka I have worked a lot of hours that I have not received pay for) but that is okay. I seriously cannot wait to be able to go food shopping tomorrow. I have been living on next to nothing for weeks now.

So yeah, I am kinda agitated. Not worth using over, but life isn't peaches and cream just because I start working a program and stay clean. Main difference is I realize that using/drinking will only make things worse.

Its my sponsors 30th anniversary tomorrow!! My sponsee brother got him a cake. I am going to get him a card.
 
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day 4. Big deal...probably got a total of 12 hours of sleep in entirety...that's the worst. Another thing is whenever I get sober I actually stop and think how I messed up my life with this shit...and that's when I usually go back, cause it's alot easier than thinking rationally about things. Everytime I get sober I feel like I'm in a hole I can't get out of.
Later ppl.
 
itchyscratchy said:
day 4. Big deal...probably got a total of 12 hours of sleep in entirety...that's the worst. Another thing is whenever I get sober I actually stop and think how I messed up my life with this shit...and that's when I usually go back, cause it's alot easier than thinking rationally about things. Everytime I get sober I feel like I'm in a hole I can't get out of.
Later ppl.
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Try a meeting again maybe? If not NA, then maybe SMART. Doesn't matter if you are using other things, just pass if it gets too you.

Going back isn't going to solve anything.

Hang on, it gets easier. You should be over the worst of it in a day or so.
 
phactor said:
Oh man, I could never drink those high abv malt drinks. A 40 of OE or Colt was one thing, but 211, St. Ides and the like got me so hungover.

Granted if I was desperate I would have no doubt. But if I had only 2 bucks it was 2 PBRs (PBR is so damn cheap in Rockford its unreal).

My Ps handle my bullshit well. They support me when I do what I need to do (right now) but they make it clear that if I am using or drinking I can expect nothing and they do not want me around. I do not blame them at all.

But my parents have been a huge support for me recently. I love seeing them proud of me.

Also, I am realizing that I am really really outgoing when I am not using. Its unreal. I am realizing this now and I turn 31 in 6 days. I must have talked to a good 100+ people today at an event I was helping to run today and I fucking loved it. People were even telling my boss about how great I was. This simply would not have happened if I was drinking and using. At one point, I could get myself there with drugs and alcohol many years ago, but that is long gone. Its nice to have a slight sense of pride again. Long way to go but these revelations are very much a blessing and so damn motivating.
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Wow, that strengthens my own resolve to beat my addictions. Thanks for that, and for various good shit you've been doing around the forum.
 
phactor said:
Try a meeting again maybe? If not NA, then maybe SMART. Doesn't matter if you are using other things, just pass if it gets too you.

Going back isn't going to solve anything.

Hang on, it gets easier. You should be over the worst of it in a day or so.
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Nope have not used since thur. night. Had to look up what SMART was.
Oh, I'm Ok in the physical sense, it's the mental shit that bothers me.
And this insomnia is kicking my ass. I hate when it starts getting light out(happens early now) and I can't sleep. Reminds me of when I used to pull coke allnighters and I fn hate that feeling.
Later man, thanks again.
 
I used to find it easier to sleep after getting blind drunk but these days am getting constant nightmares and just not being able to sleep. Maybe it's a sign to give up all together?
 
noonoo said:
I used to find it easier to sleep after getting blind drunk but these days am getting constant nightmares and just not being able to sleep. Maybe it's a sign to give up all together?
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For me, this was when my alcoholism really started to take a turn for the worst. What did this addict do? Thought, well I guess I need to start adding more drugs to this. Yeah, that wore off too. Then I was really screwed. Didn't stop me from trying to "get the click" for years after. I am really starting to think back on my use. The shit was so not working at all for the past 3 years especially. Like I was sleeping for maybe 2-3 hours before snapping back awake.

Anyways, I have 4 weeks today. I promise that is a correct count. :) Hitting 30 days on my actual birthday (which I am doing jack shit for except working. That is okay with me!)
 
30 days today! =D

Going to stop posting my count everyday, I just told myself I would do so till 30 days. Accountability is what I need.
 
I wish i culd stay clean. i need to stop but alchahol is always around, i just just got one my luckliest breaks yet, i got got picked up for drunk in public, and they had just moved me to the chronic list up here, but it was the usual judge so i got off light . instead of 60 days i got reased after just 3 days. Its times like this i wish i could quit.
 
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