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Alcoholism Discussion Thread Version 6.0

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As a chronic alcoholic of 12 years who has been to hell and back many times over I guess I have a lot of knowledge on this subject. Dont want to preach or dictate, not my style but if anyone is struggling with alcoholism Im here.
 
Thanks dude and I will. I am taking lots of responsibility for my recovery. The last time I was in such shit shape my wonderful family had to basically set that up. While its not as physically series, I know it will be difficult. I know it didn't full stick last time. It needs to stick this time.

Since I am currently working and I have to stay in my local city, my options are somewhat limited and the institution is pretty steppy. I will give those another whirl, but if that does not work out or I start to feel uncomfortable I will find other support groups like SMART (even if it involves some driving) and I plan on getting an addiction therapist. Obviously, when I get into outpatient I will be doing the program as they suggest.

I cannot get too ahead of myself, I am very committed to not using and drinking and haven't had many cravings.

I actually think I am over the worst of the withdrawals but am on some low dose .5 ativan. Furthermore, I will be returning to work tomorrow (I have not missed any work as this all occurred over a 4 day break, however the insurance knows know). I've got an assessment Wednesday and I see my Doctor Friday. I will be trying to see an addictions specialist doctor ASAP, hopefully tomorrow.

I have a supportive family and feel safe.

Also, I would highly suggest anyone who has had previous alcohol,benzo,GHB/GBL issues to stay far away from Phenibut, as that just complicated the whole entire matter. I tapered down pretty low and was shocked at how strong the withdrawals were after only 2-3 months of daily use (stupid stupid I know). I compensated by drinking more and more and just had a moment where I said "enough, I cannot keep doing this anymore. I fucked up bigtime"
 
Good luck with it Phactor. And Blahman, hey fella, how you doing? Good to see you. :)

Hey Amberskye, welcome to TDS. :) How you doing with it these days? You too CartmansKitty, most remiss of me not to say hi sooner, so hello! :)

Update time: I did type up a long chuffing post a week or so ago, previewed it, sure I hit submit on it but clearly not. What a dumbass! Wouldn't mind, I wasn't even drunk or anything at the time that would explain it? :\ I had a small slip Xmas Eve and the day before it. I'd been stressing so much coming up to Xmas about how I was gonna cope with the big family dinner with fifteen of us all crammed in at my Mam's, the place just awash with booze and everyone else drinking from about 11am and on I just caved and bought beer and vodka to have done with the bloody thing. I was craving so bad, what with constantly thinking about it and stressing, couldn't switch it off, and had run out of meds cos I could even afford the prescription coming up to it, was so skint. Drank less than half of what I'd bought drinking less than two beers and a double vodka before throwing it all down the toilet, did exactly the same the next day, down the toilet again.

Technically back into month one again then but the slip was so minor and I was able to exert some control thinking WTF are you doing Sepher I'm barely even counting it. I'd never have been able to dump the stuff a few months back, come what may. I'd have downed the lot and probably gone back out to buy still more. I didn't even get drunk so still kind of good as six months sober now, in my head at least. The annoying thing is Xmas dinner was great, didn't bloody bother me at all, stressing about nothing. Was perfectly happy drinking soft drinks and glad I was sober later when everyone else was getting well messy. Oh well. 8) Addiction unit on Wednesday, not seen my key worker for two or three months now so just checking in to keep my Antabuse script in place, and see what they can offer for if the insomnia starts getting really bad again. Seems to have settled a little, not so bad of late, at last. :)
 
pk. said:
I'm thinking of seeing a psychiatrist, but I find it too difficult to talk to them.
Click to expand...

Have you tried going to a psychologist? I've found them to be far more valuable in terms of offering practical advice and helping me identify and get through tangible problems. They also tend to be more straight and open about what they think which I find helpful.
 
Yikes, my last post was a bit of a mess, using the wrong words and spelling... sorry about that folks. Doing much better now.
 
there would be less alcoholism if they legalised weed; inadaquate supply led me ultimately to chronic drinking and now it's hard to get off - weed being illegal means most of the produce is total crap/waste of time/money; spirits are strong if you drink enough and easily & super cheaply available; this was my down fall and made me start drinking really craving alcohol and drinking really steady amounts at short periods
 
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Sir Ron Pib said:
there would be less alcoholism if they legalised weed; inadaquate supply led me ultimately to chronic drinking and now it's hard to get off - weed being illegal means most of the produce is total crap/waste of time/money; spirits are strong if you drink enough and easily & super cheaply available; this was my down fall
Click to expand...

Not everyone wants a substitute addiction.
 
Still haven't drank or used anything. Think it has been 8 days. Has not been anywhere near as difficult as the last time I got off the stuff, but I was taking a bunch of shit at that point.
 
Are there such times that if you drink at such a time it qualifies you as an alcoholic. For instance i like to drink when i wake up, a glass of wine or gin is really good start to the day, i must admit i gradually drink through the out the day, a drink every few hours and very little at night, i probably drink a ottle of wine and 3-4 beers a day at the moment, i know my drinking is not healthy and i drink to much so i may qualify as an alcoholic, its when i choose to stop i will know whether drinking is a problem for me or not

But i was having a conversation with a friend and his view is that i i drink first thing in the morning and even if thats my only drink all day i qualify as an alcoholic. You know what i am fed up with the term alcoholic, i believe each persons circumstances are different but people are so great at pigeon holing

i will admit i am an alcoholic purely on the basis that i have a dependence on it and struggle to go a day without a drink but i find it such a broad term
 
Alcohol has stolen almost everything. I am 25 years old and my body and brain have all but checked out. My hell resumes immediately upon relapse. My frequent withdrawals have resulted in a kindling effect, growing in severity each episode. The reward of drinking dwindles and the price grows exponentially, but somehow the cravings have their own delusional momentum.
 
^That makes me ache. I cannot think of a more difficult place to be than trapped by an addiction that no longer even delivers the short term comforts that got you hooked in the first place. I remember how my brother described his crack addiction in the end--it was excruciatingly painful to snort, it didn't do much of anything at all and yet he could not stop the compulsion. But he did.

I know that the exhaustion and the humiliation of this must be so terribly demoralizing, blahman, but you have got to find some little kernel of faith that you can beat this and then start blowing on that ember like your life depends on it. I know you know that it does. Big, strong hugs to you, my friend.
 
My mum is a alcoholic. I am currently hideing in my room i have locked the door. I cant stand her like this 8 years of this crap. Every time she gets drunk all i feel like doing is relapsing back on meth.. But i have to stay strong.
It just kills me inside because no matter how many AA meeting she goes to.. No matter how many times she goes to church... The fact is deep down I know she will never change.. Breaks my heart :(
 
^dogsoldier, I am so sorry. That must be terrible. Having been on the other side (my son's addiction) I know how helpless you feel. There are so many emotions--anger, helplessness, despair, fear--all together they just add up to a deep, deep grief. The only thing that helped me was to express that grief somehow, whether it was to friends or a therapist or a group. As far as your mom goes, draw on your own experience quitting meth; what helped and what didn't? I think that encouragement and then a refusal to enable is probably the best route but these get murky and hard to define when it is your loved one, particularly your family. Alcohol is a terrible addiction. My heart goes out to both you and your mother.

Because I think there is always room for hope as long as a person is alive, I will share this: my husband's mom was a binging alcoholic for her entire adult life until her 70's. She miraculously quit when her first grandchild was born which seemed to give her life new hope and meaning. She spent the last years of her life to 84 sober.<3
 
Thank you for the kind words.. Sometimes it feels no matter how hard you try to help her deep down she doesnt want to stop :( whats worse is over the last 3 to 4 years im becoming more and more bitter towards her.
 
Congrats junglejuice!

6 months is actually quite the accomplishment, and another 6 months will pass before you even realize it.

remember, your BL family is always here for you.
 
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