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Alcoholism discussion thread v. 5.0

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Hmmm, had basically quit except once or twice a month, a few drinks. Since July.

Now, wine creeping back in as I cook dinner and while the kid naps. No buennooo..
 
I hate that I generally have it under control. Except for at gatherings where I'm anxious or where I exhibit social anxiety. That's why opiates worked for me. (I have stopped using opiates for a month now). They deminished all social anxieties. Now I go to parties. Start slow and end up blacking out. Not every time but a few times a year. It's horrible and embarrassing because I don't pass out. I keep talking and say stupid things that later come back to me.
 
alcohol gets me into way to many problems i drank way to much last night and i lost my coat which had 60 cash and a whole pack of cigs. yet i keep going, i need to get back on my meds this isnt working
 
glitter_kiss said:
ativan and effexor, they usualy keep my drinking way down
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Why have you stationed your meds and why are you on them? I take Prozac, Valium, topamax, and lamatcil for anxiety, bipolar and depression. They work fine. But not as well as my opiates do. I quit those. So I'm back to losing a screw every once in a while And fucking up my life somehow. Still, I won't quit alcohol.
 
All my best wishes to all, I've not popped in to show off just share my story so far.

After a very destructive drinking habit which was making me physically ill and preventing me from trying to address my depression and anxiety I managed to cease completely. I was left with a problematic benzo addiction which I finally overcame in June this year.

We are all different but for me abstinence has worked, I haven't had a drink at all for over 2 years and rarely miss it anymore, although I'm not complacent about the possibility of relapse.

I still have many other issues, don't we all but I'm glad to be free of alcohol and it's meant allot to my partner and children.

My heart goes out to you all, keep on keepin on<3
 
I do and say stupid shit when I get drunk. I drink when I feel socially anxious. I will be put in that situation Friday. I can decline… but, I'm too stubborn to do so. I've been invited to an all girl sleep over, by host & home owner. One of the invitees invited a woman I am no longer friends with. It actually got really ugly. So, I can't be a coward and back down. But I cannot drink because tgat could have horrendous, stupid, embarrassing consequences.

My lame plan. If I say- okay, two glasses of wine- I won't stop because of anxiety. So NO.

Valium. I can take Valium and have a favorite nonalcoholic drink.

Or- save it for a special opaite night. No one will know obviously. When i take Opiates nothing matters. I'm all smiles.im not violent& I will Not be drinking & it will be fab.

I like C.

Ill get a mani. Pedi. New cute pj's
A trim.
Some Oxy's
Pellegrino & ice cream
Scary movie
Comfy socks.
Set.

Help?
 
atm23 said:
All my best wishes to all, I've not popped in to show off just share my story so far.

After a very destructive drinking habit which was making me physically ill and preventing me from trying to address my depression and anxiety I managed to cease completely. I was left with a problematic benzo addiction which I finally overcame in June this year.

We are all different but for me abstinence has worked, I haven't had a drink at all for over 2 years and rarely miss it anymore, although I'm not complacent about the possibility of relapse.

I still have many other issues, don't we all but I'm glad to be free of alcohol and it's meant allot to my partner and children.

My heart goes out to you all, keep on keepin on<3
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Congrats! I also was using alcohol as a form of self medication. I quit but did it on my own but I was not yet an alcoholic but could have easily became one. I do not go to AA, NA, or sober support groups; but that's my choice. Others do go and benefit from them.

Cohesion said:
Hmmm, had basically quit except once or twice a month, a few drinks. Since July.

Now, wine creeping back in as I cook dinner and while the kid naps. No buennooo..
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Instead of drinking the wine while you cook, cook with the wine.

Use red wine for cooking with beef or red meat, and white wine for cooking with chicken.
 
batmanplaybaseball said:
Wow, I had a very similar experience this weekend. On Thursday I went to my doctor and asked him about this drug I had read about, Modafinil (provigil). Apparently I had not read enough about it. Anyway, I'd heard it was this wonder chemical that boosted cognition and energy, while not having any of the negative effects of stimulant drugs, mood swings, anxiety, impaired motor function. Basically it was supposed to be a stimulant without any of the side effects.

Let me tell you what it really is, all the side effects without any of the stimulant.

I took it Friday morning and the best way I can describe it is that it made me feel like I had just come down from using a lot of cocaine. I was strung out, depressed, totally impaired cognitive ability, generally uncomfortable with simply being alive. I couldn't even put together the thoughts to have a simple conversation. A friend called me who I hadn't talked to in a long time and I could barely spurt out awkward and idiotic statements, like a robot in the process of breaking down. This conversation only left me feeling even more depressed. I had no interest in anything, not even doing work. The best I could do was to occupy myself with menial tasks to try and keep my mind off of itself. This lasted all day, as in about 18 hours. Being stupid I took it again the next day, and the next, each time in different dosages. I had read so many positive reports on the drug that I thought I must have just been doing something wrong. But no, every day was the same horrible experience. I woke up today with the great feeling that I will never take this drug again.

Ok so how does this relate to alcoholism. Well, stimulants are a huge trigger for me and drinking, and even worse, for opiates. Sometimes even a cup of coffee, usually later in the day, will put me in a I-have-to-drink-immediately mindset. I had many a relapse simply based on this sudden anxiety. This sucks in particular because if I'm going to mess up all the work that went into those days and nights sober, I should at least momentarily enjoy the experience. Instead I end up slamming down drinks just to stop the anxiety. It's makes for a bad night, a worse morning, and worst of all a total setback for all that sober effort.

So anyway, it was a weekend from hell, but I resisted the urge to drink and I am now still two weeks sober, and seven months clean from opiates.
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My experience with provigil is very similar to yours. I don't get where all these positive reports come from: happy, productive, all that. Batman described it very well. It's like a bad cocaine comedown, with none of the cocaine fun, that lasts twelve hours or however long. And yes, very triggering. It sets off bad cravings even if you normally don't have them. All you can think of is drinking or taking benzos or opiates or doing anything to make it stop. So, yeah, anybody trying to stop doing any of these things I would advise to stay away from provigil, and don't think it's some harmless pick me up, because it's not.
 
hi all. does anyone have any experience with Campral? my dr prescribed it for me yesterday as i'm struggling to stay sober in my out-patient program. i did a bluelight search and didn't find too much info. can anyone give a layman's break down to how it works? all the info i've found online is pretty technical and clinical.
 
As I understand it its mechanism of action is not fully understood I think Harlans but it's believed to work on the Glutamate and GABA systems. Chronic exposure to alcohol causes up-regulation of glutamate ( excitatory ) receptors and down-regulation of GABA ( inhibitory ) receptors to try and counter the depressant effects of alcohol. The response is an attempt to maintain normal brain function despite the continual presence of booze. Sudden absence of alcohol causes an excess of neuronal excitation because of these changes in receptor numbers and brain chemistry that in extremis is responsible for seizures, DTs, etc. Acamprosate is an attempt to restore some balance and prevent the over-excitation. It's a similar reason to why benzos are often prescribed in more severe cases. Benzos work on the GABA system too and so are used to prevent that over-excitation. Vague layman's terms but they're the only terms I'm able to give I'm afraid. Page 129 here may be of use? Upshot is they're meant to help you through the initial withdrawal and reduce craving thereafter.

I didn't find it all that useful. I think the jury is generally still out on it. In my case it may be that I'd not yet developed a 'proper' physical dependence severe enough to produce DTs, etc when I stopped drinking. I had withdrawal symptoms to a degree but they were more like those associated with PAWS. There was not an 'acute withdrawal' phase that preceded them as such. How effective they are for someone who does suffer DTs and is at risk of seizures in the initial stages of detoxification I don't know? Moving forward beyond that they did not seem to help much with craving, though as ever with these things it's difficult to know how much worse craving might have been had I not been taking them!?

Did they prescribe anything else? They're often used in combination with Naltrexone these days. The combos designed to reduce craving ( Campral ) and diminish the reward you'd get from alcohol if you do give in to a crave ( Naltrexone ). Me, I seem to require a blunter instrument than that combo so it's Antabuse I'm on as back up for the will power. I don't feel I need it at the moment and forget to take it most often but it's reassuring having the threat of a bad reaction there so i can't choose to drink. Not without planning to relapse over the best part of week. That may be an option worth exploring in your case if it's the occasional slip that's holding you back?
 
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thanks for the info sepher.
i got campral when i asked for antabuse. the dr said it isn't prescribed much anymore because it can be dangerous. she said that you can have severe reactions to the alcohol in cleansers (body, face) and lotions.

i asked for antabuse because in the mornings i feel strong. i feel very much like i don't need to drink. that changes after a few hours of being awake. i haven't gone for more than a day or 2 since i started this group. even when i LOVE waking up with no hangover that positive feeling doesn't last long at all. not a full day. it creeps up on me throughout the day. but that's the nature of the beast! i was hoping that i could take antabuse during my strong moments to prevent me from caving in later in the day.
 
I've never once had a reaction to the alcohol in aftershave, mouthwash, tiramisu, all the things they warn you about mate. I need to drink to get one and it will kick in pretty fast. Quarter pint of beer or maybe half a single shot of vodka though will definitely be enough and it is bloody horrible when it happens. Can be pretty severe and felt like I was having a heart attack one time when I thought it was out of my system long enough to get a few pints down. So bad I got the ex-missus to call me an ambulance and spent the night hooked up to an ECG in A&E. They could give me nothing to stop it and just had to ride it out, good few hours feeling like death. Turned out OK but plenty scary.

It has fallen out of favour these days, yes but my addiction unit still prescribes it pretty regularly. They won't want to give you it if they think you might be inclined to try drinking on it or manipulate the meds as I once did. It's all or nothing if you decide to go down that road. I'm not inclined to test it these days and yeah, I take it when I remember when I'm feeling strong, especially if I feel a crave creeping up on me. It's been useful, especially the first month when I would have caved without it no question. See how the Campral goes but might have to push for Antabuse if that doesn't help.

Are you under your local GP or an addiction unit?
 
PriestTheyCalledHim said:
Instead of drinking the wine while you cook, cook with the wine.

Use red wine for cooking with beef or red meat, and white wine for cooking with chicken.
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That is a nice thought, and thanks for that. Buuut I have to say it's not so practical for me. First I don't eat meat. Haha. Second, I can't associate wine with anything but "to get a buzz/relax a bit".

I finished that bottle and haven't bought any since.
 
Sepher said:
I've never once had a reaction to the alcohol in aftershave, mouthwash, tiramisu, all the things they warn you about mate. I need to drink to get one and it will kick in pretty fast. Quarter pint of beer or maybe half a single shot of vodka though will definitely be enough and it is bloody horrible when it happens. Can be pretty severe and felt like I was having a heart attack one time when I thought it was out of my system long enough to get a few pints down. So bad I got the ex-missus to call me an ambulance and spent the night hooked up to an ECG in A&E. They could give me nothing to stop it and just had to ride it out, good few hours feeling like death. Turned out OK but plenty scary.

It has fallen out of favour these days, yes but my addiction unit still prescribes it pretty regularly. They won't want to give you it if they think you might be inclined to try drinking on it or manipulate the meds as I once did. It's all or nothing if you decide to go down that road. I'm not inclined to test it these days and yeah, I take it when I remember when I'm feeling strong, especially if I feel a crave creeping up on me. It's been useful, especially the first month when I would have caved without it no question. See how the Campral goes but might have to push for Antabuse if that doesn't help.

Are you under your local GP or an addiction unit?
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thank you so much for telling me about your experiences with antabuse. campral is doing nothing for me. to answer your ques, my prescribing doc is part of the local addictions unit ( or US equivalent). it means so much to me that you didn't have reactions to topical products. i feel i need to push for it. i go to see her a week from monday and that's what i'm going to do. once i get a string of days under my belt i'll be better.
 
Cohesion said:
That is a nice thought, and thanks for that. Buuut I have to say it's not so practical for me. First I don't eat meat. Haha. Second, I can't associate wine with anything but "to get a buzz/relax a bit".

I finished that bottle and haven't bought any since.
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i couldn't cook with wine until i had more than a year of sobriety (relapsed after 5 yrs). hats off to you if you can, but it's not worth it to tempt yourself if you can't - or are unsure.
 
harlans said:
thank you so much for telling me about your experiences with antabuse. campral is doing nothing for me. to answer your ques, my prescribing doc is part of the local addictions unit ( or US equivalent). it means so much to me that you didn't have reactions to topical products. i feel i need to push for it. i go to see her a week from monday and that's what i'm going to do. once i get a string of days under my belt i'll be better.
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Yeah, it's getting through those first few days / couple of weeks that's the hardest no question. I found it enormously useful there just breaking the pattern and getting some sober time long enough to feel like I was at least starting with recovery a week or so in. If your head's set for it can be a huge help, and generally it's been pretty plain sailing this time out once I got the first month down and had invested some time and energy into my recovery. Craving's have kicked in a bit this week for some reason, not sure why but been fancying a beer a few nights and though I don't think I'd have acted on them I made sure to take my meds, take away the possibility I could. Big help, makes the cravings almost instantly dismissable when you know you've no options there, no point stressing about it. Good luck with it.
 
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