Alcohol Withdrawal Questions

[JayGatsby]

I know this isn't a forum for medical advice, I was a Combat Medic in the Army, and was in healthcare for quite a while, so my questions are really for your opinion. I will not take them as medically sound opinions. I also apologize if I'm posting wrong.

In 15 minutes it will be the one year anniversary of my wife's death. I'm only 36, and my daughter was nearly taken, but luckily I bought the right car and safety measures for her, so she's very much alive and kicking. My wife hit a semi-truck head on doing roughly 80-90 mph. Long story; it's been an insane year.

I started really drinking in November, around Thanksgiving. I was up to a half gallon, most of the time, or more of vodka. I've detoxed 4 or 5 times since. I usually won't stay drunk longer than a month or so. I've checked into the ER multiple times and stayed at the VA hospital for 4-5 day stretches. Awful. Yet, I always comeback for more punishment. The last two times I went "dry" I made it through once with Xanax, but had a weird nightmare and twitching experience, the last time I went 56 hours and ran out of benzos, which was last week.

I want to get sober, but the VA doesn't have a bed for me anymore, call it them labeling me as a "lost cause." I'm not. I have to do this.

I tapered with beer today, I'm on number 16 today. I hold out until it becomes uncomfortable. I've read as much as I can about self-detoxing, but there's nothing but anxiety in those papers or sites. Seizures and DT's. I'm already panicking; that just makes it like I'm freaking myself out. The best site I found came from Thailand. Go figure.

So, I have 5.5 mg of Xanax, I tried .5 mg today, but I got the shakes, had only stopped drinking for an hour and a half, and didn't want to risk my life by taking anymore. I can get more benzos, maybe even Valium or K-Pins, but Xanax is more likely. I'm worried due to its half-life and how some say Xanax doesn't work. I did it before, I am really upset that I didn't keep my head down, but it's done.

What are your opinions on what I should do? I cannot go back to any facility, I'll lose my daughter. My lawyer has advised me not to go back. There's no issues with my daughter, it's from the aftermath after my wife passed and her family taking out their grievances on me. If they find out, I'm screwed. I'd go into more detail, but this would end up the longest post in the history of the net. I make no excuses for my behavior, other than it's been a strange year.

Any thoughts are greatly appreciated. Taper? Benzos? I'm really curious because I know some of you have been down this road. Maybe you could infere advice through your own experiences. I will not take any advice from here as law. I know people get sketched out on here doing that, but I'm at the bottom of the bottle. Something has to give. Thanks for reading.

 

[Keif' Richards]

There's nothing but yourself keeping you from performing a safe and effective taper from alcohol. Unfortunately, it's ourselves who get us into these dependency situations, so it can be foolhardy to rely purely on self-will to get you through. From my understanding you can drink ~1/2 Gal. of liquor per day? If this is the case, I think the only safe thing to do is get medically detoxed again. Not only do you run the risk of seizures/convulsions/delirium tremens etc. but it is also harmful to you brain to detox to rapidly. So, you're best bet is to dry out - it sounds like you have some medical options - and start anew once you are. The kindling effect is only going to make each successive withdrawal more harmful and intense.

My personal second choice would be to use benzodiazepines, especially if you can get a hold of them consistently. The action varies between different benzodiazepines, but the three you've listed, being diazepam (Valium), clonazepam (Klonopin) and alprazolam (Xanax), should all be capable of suppressing alcohol withdrawal. You have the added benefit of saving your hepatic system from that bastardous ethyl alcohol. Clonidine would also be useful. My heart palpitates like a mother fucker when I'm withdrawing from sedative/hypnotics. This last one should be easy to acquire as well.

You can sure try accomplishing this yourself, but I always found it took a considerable weight off of my shoulders when I would check into the hospital. I've detoxed myself from heavy alcohol use twice and they were horrific experiences. In a facility, be it a hospital or detox clinic, you can rest in relative comfort and peace of mind. This is just my opinion, as alcohol - sedative/hypnotic withdrawal is not to be trifled with. I wouldn't say it makes opiate withdrawal "a cake walk", but it's definitely much worse.

 

[JayGatsby]

Thank you for your reply. If the hospital were an option I'd have already gone, and my medical is VA, so detoxing at my local facility would take 6 weeks just to get into the program. I don't want to wait 6 weeks. I have Clonidine, so I could add that to the regiment. I appreciate your thoughts.

 

[Voxide]

Definitely switch out the Xanax for valium if you can get your hands on it. Your blood levels will be more stable and offer much better relief when you start tapering down, which you should also do. Ideally you want a pretty large stash of the 10mg valiums and find a sweet spot dosage to where you aren't really comfortable per se, but at least able to tolerate it. I think some tapering guides can be found online but of course this will vary due to the different amounts people drink per day.

 

[Keif' Richards]

JayGatsby,

Is there a reason you can't go to the emergency department at a local hospital? If you are truly drinking the volume of alcohol that you claim and you present yourself, they are obligated to treat you. Sure, you will get a hefty bill from the hospital, but who gives a shit. We're in a recession after all... nobody pays their medical bills. Just go, I'm sure it will take a couple hours to actually get seen, as it always does, but it could save your life.

Opiate withdrawal is bad, but alcohol withdrawal is a completely different animal. The word that I would use to describe the withdrawal is fear; a sense of impending doom and death seems to hover above me. My anxiety flies into overdrive and I convince myself that I'm going to die or otherwise do serious damage to my body. The feeling when you get to the emergency room and get evaluated is just a huge weight off your shoulders. Just remember, they are obligated to keep you alive, don't sweat it.

 

[JayGatsby]

Thanks. Yeah, Valium is longer acting, but I talked to a doc today who said Xanax is just as effective, you just need more doses. Slippery slope, but I haven't liked benzos in years, they make me pass out.

I'm tapering. It still sucks, but not as bad.

 

[JayGatsby]

Yeah, my daughter. I've screwed up too much this year. Also, I went to the ER last time, I was completely honest about my drinking, had the shakes, etc., so they gave me some Ativan, the banana bag, and sent me back out to drink.

I found a bunch of K-Pins, it's not Valium, but it's long lasting, unlike the Xanax. I tapered to 18 beers in 24 hours, I'm having some withdrawal effects, especially this morning, but I've been drinking water, taking vitamins, and eating small meals. I think I'll be okay. I've self-detoxed before, but this binge was small compared to the others--only 14 days. I just know: I cannot drink again. I've always managed to steer clear of trouble with every other substance I've done, but alcohol kicked my teeth in this past year. Thanks for your advice, man.

 

[Keif' Richards]

No problem, clonazepam (Klonopin) or "K-Pins" in street slang is basically as good as diazepam (Valium). The only downside is you receive less of the skeletal muscle relaxant properties of the diazepam, which can be helpful in trying to relax. You can rest assured that basically all commonly available benzos are good for mitigating the effects of alcohol withdrawal, but like you touched on, some are shorter lasting, others, longer lasting. You should be able to estimate both by math - taking into account the different half-lives - and by how quickly the withdrawal symptoms re-manifest.

Good luck, alcohol is a tough habit to break. Not just due to the physical effects of it, the cultural aspect also makes quitting alcohol especially hard. If you're over 21 it's everywhere and anywhere. Alcohol addiction is just dandy in the eyes of Uncle Sam, drunks are either viewed as lovable clowns or "party animals". Our culture tends to turn a blind eye to the body-rotting effects of ethyl alcohol. When I stopped drinking, I realized just how often people my age drink and offer or are offered a drink. This only makes things more difficult. You need to have a strong will and a good support system for both encouragement and motivation to be better, which it sounds like you have.

Also Jay, are you taking your vitamins after eating your meals? They allegedly are better absorbed with food in the stomach. This is peanuts compared to the medication aspect, but the fact remains that you're going to need all of the nutrients you can get while your body fights to return to homeostasis.