Sometimes when I'm lazy or out of liquor, which is often, I don't drink with all the benzos I swim in, what I do is brush my teeth really thoroughly, the way dentists say to do it. Then brush my tongue and palate. Then 30 seconds Listerine (or any alcohol containing mouthwash, ie Scope won't work). Then I place my Suboxone tablets under my tongue and I drop a little Listerine on them. And as they melt into mush I do a suction like motion producing some saliva and do it a lot, if I'm lucky and had my 100mg hydroxyzine beforehand(before the tooth brushing) I will suddenly feel a small opiate related euphoria. And I have nodded hard doing it this way too, like I had to end up in bed, whatever I was doing on my desktop is unfinished or i'm a respawning zombie guy until I get kicked out the server
I feel including this here because I switched to suboxone even if it meant not feeling a full opiate anymore, methadone was screwing my testosterone levels. At first my GP treated me with only subcutaneous IV injection of Testosterone (Delatestryl) once a week. Got me a case of painful cysts and a tiny case of man boobs, thankfully it didn't show cos of my weed/beer belly that I regained after getting on Methadone, too. I was 6'5 168 lbs when I was accepted inpatient, which was abnormal for me, no pair of jeans I had were wearable without a belt, so I had anti-estrogen pills added and many ultrasounds and even a goddamn mammography, although she had to go to the tiniest setting on the machine for it to twist that area, but no i'm fine no tumours, it was just like those cysts guys can get at puberty, again, and since they weren't directly under the nipple it confused more than one doctor, anyway now I'm 285lbs, switching to bupe hasn't reduced my weight but it stopped (partially) the insane sweet tooth many develop from 'done. I was lucky and always meeting the same doctor everytime I had an appointment for almost a year straight,which is lucky because they're 12 or so and one of em has the last name of Stagg, which is very weird in french canada, we call her the SS SheWolf. But anyway, since I arrived to the point I'm at, is because I was under, already, an opiate treatment, which was cut short by a retiring specialist (of the jaw), leaving me with the neurologist who also was involved in that damaged area of my body, but neurologists don't script opiates, except maybe Fiorinal with Codeine but that might be it.
I say this because the last 2 times I went to my 5-6 weekly appointments at the ORT clinic, it was a different, a nice guy,who scripted me our version of Ambien when it came out no questions asked, even if I had benzos in my scripts. So he gives me the great news, finally after 1 year 3/4 of treatment, I can go back to methadone for the pain killing and he tells me that he won't put me back on methadone (which the doc I saw 12 months in a row knows something this one doesn't, the anti-estrogen pills when introduced did their job and killed all the cysts and manboobs). I told him, dude my 2 very painful syndromes related to my left jaw/nerves in the area being damaged by tiny pieces of bone and a TMJ disorder on top is what made me get opiates. The medical system failed me because when the guy taking care of me retired, I was told to suck it up by walk in doctors who'd script me rx only ibu (600mg) and 12 Empracets 30/300. I know I should have played my game better, having my medical dossier from the doc who retired on me's clinic give me the x-rays and irm results and shit. But yeah, 2 years later, shooting up Dilaudid.
I'm still enjoying opiates and am so grateful when I get a random nod from bupe...I don't know how or why that happens, but they do. I just love bobbin my head noddin with some Sodom or some Deadhorse or Crowbar or Morbid Saint playing and barely being able to open my eyes. Makes me feel like when you're in your hypnopompic paradise (the kind of dreams you sort of control and that end up with you waking up with a boner, which thankfully to the Delastestryl and anti-estrogen I get again).
So I hope I can see the one doctor willing to put me on Methadone back, who's the one who initiated all the blood tests and ultrasounds and CT's can make the decision. Also, I no longer have a 600mg tagamet script, another doc quit on me, my GP. Phone number says number disconnected. How do I even get my medical files from him? No fucking idea, clinic's closed, which was really a house turned into a clinic with 2 very old doctors in it where getting pure Hydrocodone 5mg pills for a cough was as easy a cake.
The genie is out of the bottle, I want my painkilling but I also want my recreational effects. Damnit and bupe, is marginally stronger than tylenol as a painkiller. At least for people like us. My grandma wears the patch. Not fentanyl. BuTrans patch, 20ug an hour, she's still very active at 74 so she gets that. Makes me laugh it can actually help someone for 24 hours, and 20ug/h is the strongest dose for these patches.
