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Age Difference

footscrazy said:
I used to think the age difference didn't matter, but now I think there's an unavoidable power imbalance in relationships like that.
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This is spot on.

I knew lots of of girls in high school that dated guys that were a couple years out of high school and they all rationalized it 90 different ways at the time then all of them regretted it down the line. I really don't mean this offensively, but from a psychological standpoint, it's likely problematic that you want to be hanging around younger people and 'click' so much better with them. You'd likely benefit from exploring what it is that draws you to wanting to sustain your adolescence.

The odds of this relationship lasting are very low. You both are going to be changing substantially over the next couple years and she probably doesn't even a have a clue who she is (who does at 16?). If I were in your shoes, the main reason I wouldn't be able to do this is because I couldn't live with knowing they might really regret this later on. Perhaps my sample is skewed, but I don't think I could be with someone if, like footscrazy explained from experience, they would be uncomfortable with this in the future.

I'm really disappointed with the wildly myopic and simply false statements throughout this thread claiming shit like 'age is just a number'. Actually, people mature in predictable patterns and should do so at a certain pace and when this doesn't happen, it's generally problematic. 20 year olds don't normally have the mentality of and click better with 16 year olds and 16 year olds are not normally ready to be in mature, adult relationships (regardless of the fact that so many believe they are).
 
Age is just a number when you're 25 and dating a 35 year old. 21 and 16? Hell no. I'm with Busty, and I was probably that annoying 16 year old. lol I was 16 and dated my first guy who was turning 20. He was an immature loser, but l remember him going off about life and thinking "who cares?"

I guess it depends on where the 21 year old is in life. If you're 21 and living at home with 0 responsibilities, you're probably at the same maturity level as a 16 year old. If you're 21, living on your own, working to pay bills and going to college on your own, you're probably too mature for a 16 year old.
 
I would say that DATING a 16 year old at your age, well there's some big emotional differences at this point, so a lot of stuff may come up to make you think she's really immature, and this could turn you off the idea - at which point she could have fallen for you pretty hard.

On the other hand, if you're immature, then maybe you're on a level.

It may work out OK though, so as long as it's legal, go for it and see where it goes...
 
I'm attracted to guys that are way older than me. I've always been that way. Just something about them, yummy!
 
_mistresspoppy_ said:
Some people mature at different rates.mi was an only child and grew up around adults, so I acted mature for my age. At 13, I wanted an emotionally meaningful relationship. I felt a longing to be touched, wanted, loved, that not many kids my age felt that way. People often believed I was 5-8 years older than I actually was. Mentally, i was more mature than some of the older guys i was with. I dont believe there is a magic age when a relationship is suddenly okay. Do you automatically grow tits the second you turn 13? Do you go bald the second of your thirtieth birthday? No, so by that logic, the belief that a girl becomes a woman at age 18 is ridiculous.
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I feel like the vast majority of this shit written in this thread, especially this, is wrong. How can you compare physical maturation (going bald, growing tits) to mental maturation? I look at the difference in my mental maturation from ages 16-18 as huge, not to mention 16-20. This is also coming from one of those people who thought himself mature, or others thought so. The simple fact that you compared growing tits to being a women shows how immature you actually are. You said you never "did" anything with anyone who wasn't 10 years older than yourself. Considering you said you were dating your fiancee when he was age 23, making you 13... I think that's pretty fucked. No 23 year-old MAN should be dating a 13 year-old GIRL. I don't give a fuck if you "look 5-8 years older" or some bullshit like that - it's fucked up. Seriously, do you have any siblings/cousins/family who is 13? They're immature as fuck.

In regards to the power imbalance in a relationship like that, I completely agree - but I find it goes one of two ways. Generally in the first case I find the older male only wants the sex, and the younger girl is naive and immature about his intentions. The second case is the older male is immature himself, has low confidence and uses the physical contact which he is yearning for (as all humans do once they start maturing) from the girl as acceptance, when the girl is actually using the guy for whatever reason. I believe this because all of these relationships end one of two ways - older guy cheats/breaks up with girl after being tired of sex or younger girl cheats/breaks up with guy after using him for whatever reason.

I don't really care if you share my opinion, but 16 year olds ARE annoying as fuck. The fact that the person I quoted admitted to cheating on their SO shows how immature they are/were. In the past it was acceptable because it had little to do with love and more to do with passing on the blood lineage through a male heir. It was wealthy families who wanted to keep the wealth among the other wealthy families. They had no choice in the matter.
 
I would not do it, not only because most people who are younger are immature but because you're an adult and this person is not an adult, and at least in the United States you can go to jail or prison because of this and they're not going to care if you tell them 'age is just a number'.

At least go for someone who is over 18 and who wants to have a relationship with you. At 16 most people do not want a relationship and don't take any sort of dating or relationship they get into then seriously at all. When I was 16 I was not interested in having a relationship or dating anyone and I was more interested in hanging out with friends, going to live music events, using drugs, and school than having a relationship or dating anyone.
 
If the age of consent makes it so you don't go to jail, I see no problem.... I think delicious loli are cute lol (I'm 24)... under Canadian law, 16 would be the age of consent and you'd be fine

At 16.5 I was in training as an Infantry soldier...if I was mature enough to learn to kill people, I think I was mature enough to consent to a relationship. So I think she is too.

That being said, my current GF is >30 and its no issue. If you both have genuine feelings for each other, and nothing coercive or abusive is going on, I wish you nothing but the best of success.
 
Age is not an issue once you pass 25ish. Most 16 year old kids think they are mature. Sorry, you're not. 16 and living with mom and dad doesn't give you any experience compared to (for instance) a 25 year old girl/guy working, going to school, taking on responsibility. There's just no comparison. You can be really mature at 20ish, depending on your situation, but the teen years? Nah.
 
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