After years of lurking, finally made an account!

[Natuallist]

Hi bluelight,

I've been a avid lurker of this site for at least three years. As a western european, i've tried shrooms, meth, weed, tramadol, morphine, oxycodone, adderall.

My drug of choice is Tramadol due to the effects it give on serotonine, as I tend to be depressed. I plan to try buprenorphine and Methadone as well, to see what's the opiate my body likes the most.

Bluelight has greatly helped me over the years concerning harm reduction, dosage, side-effects... and i finally made the step toward joining the community.

I also wanted to ask a question about Ephedrine, that is the second reason of me joining.

Nice to meet you.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Hey how's it going @Natuallist?

Your join date is pretty cool. 5-10-2020.

I like mine too. 8-8-2018.

So anyway, i'm curious how those drugs you've tried effected your depression (BTW - i'm sure you know we have a Mental Health forum). It's quite the random assortment of drugs, and fascinating, to me, that Tramadol is your favorite. I've never tried it, and i have no judgement to make based on everyone's unique chemistry make up. Ii used to have bad depression before i got medicated for my MI.

Welcome to Bluelight.

Stay safe.

 

[Natuallist]

Hey how's it going @Natuallist?

Your join date is pretty cool. 5-10-2020.

I like mine too. 8-8-2018.

So anyway, i'm curious how those drugs you've tried effected your depression (BTW - i'm sure you know we have a Mental Health forum). It's quite the random assortment of drugs, and fascinating, to me, that Tramadol is your favorite. I've never tried it, and i have no judgement to make based on everyone's unique chemistry make up. Ii used to have bad depression before i got medicated for my MI.

Welcome to Bluelight.

Stay safe.

Hello Madness00, thank you for welcoming me here.

I forgot to mention i'm French and i'm 23 years old, don't mind sharing that here.

I've always been an asocial person, I probably have a mild form of autism as i have troubles communicating with others and getting close to them. Unable to find pleasure in socializing during my teenagehood, i've spent time on the internet instead, learned english and played videogames. Once i became a young adult i got tired of that and had nothing to do, plus i wasnt interested in studying, so i picked up alcoholism. Was terrible and worsened my mental health and depression. Then i got curious about drugs because they were the gateway to new experiences that didnt need other people in order to be felt.

I tried weed and i got paranoid from it, had plenty of bad trips.
Grew shrooms on my own and ate them in a forest, got paranoid as well, thankfully had xanax.
Tried Meth because i thought it would help me study but i ended up taking too much and had a mental breakdown. That's when i realized i had bipolar/schizophrenic troubles (bad paranoia from a microscopic amount of meth) and i had to give up on psychedelics, alcohol and stimulants if i didnt want to end up in a mental ward.
Then i tried oxycodone, morphine and tramadol all plenty of time, i unironically liked tramadol more than the others because it lasted the longest and was a nice mood lift to my badly depressed self. I wasnt that fond of the pure dreamy opiod effects of morphine.

Thanks to bluelight i read Tramadol has serotoninergic effects and other drugs had this: Methadone and Buprenorphine. I plan to try them in the following weeks, as i just finished my tramadol stock today. I was also recommended Zoloft and was thinking i should try it.

That's where i am right now.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Cool.

Be careful taking things without a prescription though? Is that what your doing? There are some wonderful doctors out there if you look.

I have Bipolar disorder too and I'd be very bad without meds.

I too growing up was not social. I don't think it's autism, but something similar maybe. I live in my head a lot, but it's fine. I love video games and forums for that reason as well. I'm 28 now.

Really glad to have you here on Bluelight.

HMU if you ever want to talk it seems like we have a lot in common. Except I'm probably a hard drug addict

 

[Natuallist]

Thank you, i always felt Bluelight was a comfy community and i wasn't disappointed.

Indeed, i get everything by myself. I might go to the doc soon and i'll see if i can ask for a methadone prescription though.

 

[CFC]

Bienvenue Natuallist! Good to see you finally decided to join up

 

[thefirm]

bipolar/schizophrenic troubles

take care with the tramadol regarding this, prolonged use results in manic states for me and I'm not bipolar at all, it's a nice touch in the short run but in the long one I think that it messes up your whole serotonine system and emotional behind-the-scene gears

although I can agree that it's much more nicer for this purpose than oxycodone or morphine, the opioid feeling is meh honestly, but the other part feels good at the start, don't get addicted on it, it will only make you more depressive

and welcome!

 

[PtahTek]

Hi bluelight,

Hi, Nat.
I see there is a thread already about the ephen and am going to jump over there to read up a bit and maybe chime in.
I did want to jump in here and give ya a big warm welcome hug but social distancing and all here....
It is great that you signed up and do hope you find it comfortable and "tweak"-able if one will.
Peace,
Ptah

 

[Natuallist]

Thank you for your welcome, guys. Browsing bluelight and reading people's experiences and advices has always been comfy time for me.

take care with the tramadol regarding this, prolonged use results in manic states for me and I'm not bipolar at all, it's a nice touch in the short run but in the long one I think that it messes up your whole serotonine system and emotional behind-the-scene gears

although I can agree that it's much more nicer for this purpose than oxycodone or morphine, the opioid feeling is meh honestly, but the other part feels good at the start, don't get addicted on it, it will only make you more depressive

and welcome!

Is it the same for Methadone? Most likely i'll switch to Methadone as I read it lasts longer and is more potent.

 

[thefirm]

from what I know, methadone can worsen your depression in the long run and the withdrawal is more severe than that from tramadol, tho tramadol withdrawal is no joke since snri withdrawal comes in effect too

i wish tramadol withdrawal wasn't that nasty, I would still be on it. i have a love/hate relationship with it, it gave me such a sense of stability and mood enchanment that I didn't even notice how much it destroyed everything else behind the scene. tho knowing that something like that substance exists is gonna be embeded forever in my mind, being so freely available doesn't help either.

if I were you I would look in other parts to deal with my issue. morphine is nice, it doesn't destroy me emotionally in the same manner but the withdrawal and low BA doesn't make it much more worth it, and shooting up is not a habit I want to pick back up. oxy is nice for the first 3 times of a run, after that all nodding, no energy, headaches and again horrible withdrawal. if you can stick to tapers you can have small runs with a milder w/d but I never managed to be with a leg in and a leg out

for how long are you on the trams?

 

[xaddictx]

Welcome to Bluelight Nat. There is a good family on here and many people with knowledge and wisdom. You'll have a great support system and dont be afraid to ask any questions. Tty soon.

 

[Natuallist]

from what I know, methadone can worsen your depression in the long run and the withdrawal is more severe than that from tramadol, tho tramadol withdrawal is no joke since snri withdrawal comes in effect too

i wish tramadol withdrawal wasn't that nasty, I would still be on it. i have a love/hate relationship with it, it gave me such a sense of stability and mood enchanment that I didn't even notice how much it destroyed everything else behind the scene. tho knowing that something like that substance exists is gonna be embeded forever in my mind, being so freely available doesn't help either.

if I were you I would look in other parts to deal with my issue. morphine is nice, it doesn't destroy me emotionally in the same manner but the withdrawal and low BA doesn't make it much more worth it, and shooting up is not a habit I want to pick back up. oxy is nice for the first 3 times of a run, after that all nodding, no energy, headaches and again horrible withdrawal. if you can stick to tapers you can have small runs with a milder w/d but I never managed to be with a leg in and a leg out

for how long are you on the trams?

I've been taking about 300mg tramadol everyday since 3 weeks. I honestly haven't had any terrible emotional/serotonine/manic state side effects from tramadol beside feeling bored and empty on off-days when i was using it once every two days. I suppose real troubles start to happen if you take it for months or years though. I should probably just get on Zoloft tbh.

 

[RareForm]

Hi. I was a gift from Santa.