After just 4 days I'm terrified I'm already a cokehead

[Stringer_Bell]

So I got some good coke on Tuesday. Have used it every day up to and including today (all 3.5g I got).

I'm sitting here pretty much thinking I'm already a damn cokehead. Am kind of in shock and wish so much I had never tried it in the first place. The high isn't even that good and I can only take it with a benzo to smooth out the anxiety.

Please tell me I'm not completely f*cked and if I stop right now, the cravings will go away after a few weeks.

Feeling like such an idiot. I've read stories of genuine cokeheads and always pretty much pitied them like crazy but always thought never in a million years could that happen to me.

I'd have been better off with meth!

Edit: I think I sort of misjudged the nature of coke addiction. I thought it was more like, once you start doing in in a night it's impossible not to do it all and even when you run out before you know it you'll be at an ATM getting money to buy more. I didn't realise it was something you would crave for months or years afterwards. I'm going to talk to the guy that can get me the good stuff and tell him not to deal with me anymore. I'm not going to do more coke, I'm just annoyed that I'm probably not going to be able to get on with normal day to day activities without always thinking about this drug. Wish I'd started doing this sh*t at 80. In that case I'd probably just go all out.

 

[szuko000]

You will be fine if you choose to stop right this second and even if you choose to go on a little longer you may be fine. You have not done so much that it has become a part of your life, hell its not even part of your weekends yet. Addiction is a process and the first part is association, you havent even gotten to the part dependency where you think "man its not going to be fun without coke" when you reach that point you have a problem.

This is your crossroads essentially. I have not met one person that didnt think coke wasnt over rated and all that good stuff, but that never stopped them (us) from smoking crack and getting it. Lots of people think its shitty and then continue to do it because it does have its good parts. Just heed your own warning and stop this is the only time it will be so easy for you, should you continue stopping will be harder down the road.

Also meth is bad too you dont really wish you did that lol.

 

[Stringer_Bell]

Thanks man, you have given me some hope and I really appreciate your post. I don't even know what I was thinking trying this stuff. I've been to parties before where everybody was doing it and I always said, no, no way. At some point I got curious I guess.

I'm stopping, as you suggested. I haven't even been doing it with friends or parties or anything (which I know is worse in a way). None of my friends do coke, I don't even go to parties much anymore. I'll be ok. I'm sure I'll have some cravings for a while but I'll deal with them and hopefully they'll go away at some point.

 

[Stringer_Bell]

You know I really like it though. God, I enjoy it so much. Again not really the high, the whole thing. The first day I got this batch I did a couple of normal sized lines and almost went to the ER because the anxiety was so intense. I persisted and again got the most severe anxiety. I HATED it and was ready to throw the stuff away. Then I tried taking a much smaller amount with a Xanax and it was so pleasant. No comedown whatsoever (this is pretty pure and I've heard that comedowns aren't as bad when it's pure - plus i only do tiny lines).

I wish this drug could be more innocuous, it's such a nice treat. But after reading so much about this drug now I think that it's evil, even more than amphetamine which I thought was a dark, dark drug. Out of curiosity if somebody did a gram a week every week and never went over that, what would be the likely consequences. Severe heart damage? Psychosis/depression/anxiety?

Sorry for all the questions. I read a lot about coke on her and other sites before but never really got it until now. Now I do - the 'fun' and the cravings are way out of proportion to the high. I almost wish I was getting the comedown because then I would find it easy to stop but i think because it's good stuff and I'm not getting that high by doing very small lines, I'm not getting the crash either. It would be so nice to be able to do this once every couple of weeks but I guess it's not really an option.

I don't smoke weed and i don't like drinking so back to total sobriety for me I guess. I'll be honest, it's boring for me (I know some people are pefectly happy sober and I didn't touch alcohol or drugs during most of my twenties) but I suppose it's better than ending up in a terrible way.

Kind of scared that I'm addicted and also slightly sad that I've found a drug which I really like (I really don't like most others including alcohol) but I have to say goodbye to it forever.

 

[Erikmen]

You will be fine if you choose to stop right this second and even if you choose to go on a little longer you may be fine. You have not done so much that it has become a part of your life, hell its not even part of your weekends yet. Addiction is a process and the first part is association, you havent even gotten to the part dependency where you think "man its not going to be fun without coke" when you reach that point you have a problem.

This is your crossroads essentially. I have not met one person that didnt think coke wasnt over rated and all that good stuff, but that never stopped them (us) from smoking crack and getting it. Lots of people think its shitty and then continue to do it because it does have its good parts. Just heed your own warning and stop this is the only time it will be so easy for you, should you continue stopping will be harder down the road.

I can relate to this in its integrity.
If you stop now it will be easier and you could avoid full addiction.
You haven´t yet experienced the paranoia and the urge to continue when it´s not good at all. Have you?
Stop while you can, when it´s easier.

 

[Stringer_Bell]

Thanks. No I haven't experienced any paranoia at all (Edit: unless you count my fear of addiction as paranoia!).

I think I'm just amazed at how I've reached this crossroads after four days. Even with a drug like heroin it takes weeks or even months to get properly addicted (I had morphine every day in the hospital - IV - after a major op and I didn't even think about it after I left the hospital).

I'm completely freaked out that I'm already at a point where I'm risking full addiction after using this stuff for four days. I used amphetamines for a year and had no problem coming off them (well that's not true, I was depressed and incredibly tired for two weeks). This drug just seems evil, worse than heroin or meth. I can't believe people use this so casually. The only times I've encountered it previously have been at parties full of city boy types, lawyers, etc. And they make a joke of it in films like The Wolf of Wall Street, as though it's something funny. How can they do this when even using it for a couple of weeks can completely ruin your life?

I tried to get my girlfriend to do a couple of lines with me in Vegas. Now, knowing all this, I can't believe what I was thinking.

 

[Dresden]

You really only have to do good cocaine once to become addicted (psychologically, of course; it isn't physically addictive). However, your life hasn't been ruined yet b/c, well, for two things: (1) you didn't OD and die or go insane and commit a homicide or something like that and (2) you've haven't completely depleted your bank account, lost your job, and pawned all your valuables for 50% of what they were worth yet.

Even if you are truly addicted, cocaine addiction can be overcome, or swapped for a less expensive and destructive addiction (preferably one that lasts longer and doesn't have coke's shitty comedown). I overcame my cocaine addiction with over the counter Benzedrex. Addiction to IV cocaine or smoked freebase cocaine is more serious, but still overcome-able as well.

 

[Erikmen]

Yep! Agree with you totally, specially what you mentioned about IV coke and definitely freebase.

My suggestion remains. Stop while you can do it without so much harm to you and to your life.

 

[paranoid android]

Please if you like Coke this much quit while your ahead for your own sake. If you quit now after only 4 days on the stuff you will be fine in a few days at the most. At worst you will have a comedown with cravings which some food and sleep will help. As someone who has been a cokehead i can honestly say that it was probably the worst thing i ever got addicted to. I did far more damage to my veins in just 3 months of IV coke use then i did in 6 years of IV opiate use. I was a on and off again Crack smoker but i never really got hooked until i first shot powder. I didn't think it would be more compulsive then smoking crack but it is by miles. I have never taken Meth before but i have taken alot of Dextroamphetamine in the past and while i like Dexedrine more i found it to be nowhere near as addictive as coke was. Not that Amphetamines are a good replacement for coke either as they certainly can be very addictive as well.

I have never experienced cravings for any drug as bad as i have craved IV coke with the exception of Nicotine perhaps. It really is a drug that sets a whole new level of self loathing really. So yeah quit before things actually get bad then you won't have to regret it.

 

[TheLostBoys]

Everyone is different in handling their drug use......I had a waitress work for me, she was a gf of a friend of mine, & they were both big cokeheads.

Took them a while, but they ended up quitting, it was hard tho, because to this day, if you lay it in front of them, their noses will become like a Hoover vacuum, they still love the stuff.

IMO, you either like coke, or hate it, no in between.....& I simply hate it!

 

[Erikmen]

Please if you like Coke this much quit while your ahead for your own sake. If you quit now after only 4 days on the stuff you will be fine in a few days at the most. At worst you will have a comedown with cravings which some food and sleep will help. As someone who has been a cokehead i can honestly say that it was probably the worst thing i ever got addicted to. I did far more damage to my veins in just 3 months of IV coke use then i did in 6 years of IV opiate use. I was a on and off again Crack smoker but i never really got hooked until i first shot powder. I didn't think it would be more compulsive then smoking crack but it is by miles. I have never taken Meth before but i have taken alot of Dextroamphetamine in the past and while i like Dexedrine more i found it to be nowhere near as addictive as coke was. Not that Amphetamines are a good replacement for coke either as they certainly can be very addictive as well.

I have never experienced cravings for any drug as bad as i have craved IV coke with the exception of Nicotine perhaps. It really is a drug that sets a whole new level of self loathing really. So yeah quit before things actually get bad then you won't have to regret it.

That´s pretty much everything I was gonna say about it. Agree with you totally.
Do it while you can!

 

[Erikmen]

Everyone is different in handling their drug use......I had a waitress work for me, she was a gf of a friend of mine, & they were both big cokeheads.

Took them a while, but they ended up quitting, it was hard tho, because to this day, if you lay it in front of them, their noses will become like a Hoover vacuum, they still love the stuff.

IMO, you either like coke, or hate it, no in between.....& I simply hate it!

In comparison to opiates (specially heroin, dillies, etc) or even benzos - yes absolutely!
In some weird way it´s like alcohol in powder, except that you don´t get drunk.