• MDMA &
    Empathogenic
    Drugs

    Welcome Guest!

After 8 months and 3 days I have 100% Recovered! Thank You BL!

I am on month 5... I hope I can reach this recovery as well very soon :)
 
However, a nice responsible dose of MD to give the neurons a flush and to get your life in perspective never hurt anyone. Quite the opposite in fact, it's helped many kick their MD induced depression in the ass! You just need to remember where it put you before and put into practice all you have learned here on BL.
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Dont take my word for it I could be wrong but I remmeber reading somewhere that after heavy heavy MDMA abuse once they were months into recovery from a long term comedown which was almost at full recovery, they used MDMA again and used the experience to overcome depression and essentially use it for thereupetic effects and it worked wonders. They also mentioned something about during the months of depression and issues that their serotonin netwokr rewired incorrectly and that blasting it with MDMA again allowign it to rewire better through positive thought processes they felt better off.
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3 weeks ago I took a single dose of MDMA. I took it recreationally instead of therapeutically. I guess my tolerance had disappeared because it was strong - almost too strong for the first couple of hours. Even though I didn't take it recreationally, it has turned out to be a total mental reset. The initial 5 to 7 days were difficult with some of the old, unpleasant feelings of anxiety and feeling flat; but after that I bounced back and feel free, clear and at ease in my mind.
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This is a very interesting and potentially dangerous view point. Although that said on my first long term comedown which lasted 6 months I too took a small dose of MDMA and it some how reset my anxiety and effectively cured me.

However!! Warning..

Unfortunately I embarked on a second long term comedown in September 2011 and unfortunately though it would be a good idea to try this again for a "quick fix". So one month into my comedown I took MDMA again. It had totally the opposite effect. Symptoms went from mild anxiety to major anxiety and many of my symptoms were much much worse.

The moral of this story I think there is something to be said for MDMA as a cure as I experienced it myself but I think this choice for recovery comes with VERY VERY HIGH RISK.

I assume that taking MDMA whilst under recovery comes down to your serotonin supplies if they are already exausted then the MDMA is potentially harmful if they have sufficiently recovered then maybe the MDMA acts as a serum/medicine.


Nice story Dawglaw personally i your position I would never take MDMA again. I beleive life has much more to offer than taking any more risks. Good luck.
 
^ Haha well, one month isn't very far into your recovery... hell, even 6 months is pushing it a bit IMO in these extreme cases. I took a good 8 month off, and 5 months after that and 6 months after that! Now It's leveled out to about once every 45 days, although I will probably need another long term break soon.
 
I'm glad you recovered man. Please be careful with what you take in the future so you don't relapse. To be honest man, there are tons of other drugs out there besides Mdma and all the ones where you run the risk of fucking up your life for awhile. Just take those and have the piece of mind you'll be okay when you come down.


Sadly, I'm on an Mdma come down right now. The first 3 1/2 days were the worst, one of the hardest things I ever went through in my life. I am now on day 4 or 5, and the effects have decreased in intensity, but they're still there. I had a bad anxiety attack a few hours after I woke up when the worse effects went away, lasting about 5-6 hours. I don't want to go to sleep right now because I'm afraid that will happen again.

Wish me a speedy recovery, and good luck with your ventures.
 
I took a few benzos in the beginning to help when times were really tough but I did not make it a habit. Apparently benzo addiction sucks.

Drugs put me in the hole so i wanted to be sober as possible for my recovery. I only use benzos now for a really long flight.
 
Congrats on your recovery. I have personally abstained due to the development of anxiety and a perceptual disorder. This also caused me to go from being a daily pot smoker to once every few months. I may use Emma again someday but certainly not for a while. I still get a great pleasure from the scene and going to shows.I do have to say it's empowering to realize you don't need Emma to have fun..all though I Dec can admit I had some of the best times of my life on it ;) anyway only you know if you are truly ready to roll again. Honestly from the sounds of it I would give yourself more time to heal and you may find at that point you might not even wanna roll anymore. Best of . Luck dude.
 
On that 8 months and 4th day, did you suddenly feel significantly better, or was it just a 'ahh, normality' kind of feeling?
Did you feel yourself getting better gradually over the 8months, or was it a sharp rise right at the end?
Sorry for all the questions, i just think it might be useful to those thinking they won't ever recover as maybe a reassurance. Would be phenom if you drew a graph of how you're feeling vs time, even if its a shitty ms paint thing ;)
 
MrPorter said:
On that 8 months and 4th day, did you suddenly feel significantly better, or was it just a 'ahh, normality' kind of feeling?
Did you feel yourself getting better gradually over the 8months, or was it a sharp rise right at the end?
Sorry for all the questions, i just think it might be useful to those thinking they won't ever recover as maybe a reassurance. Would be phenom if you drew a graph of how you're feeling vs time, even if its a shitty ms paint thing ;)
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I'd like to know this as well. It seems I am getting progressively better, and it's not just all at once. Still in pretty bad shape though :/
 
It was extremely gradual. I just realized that on that day I hadn't thought about DP DR or my comedown for a few days.

The last few months for me was about acceptance of my anxiety, reassurance that life goes on, and distracting myself so that work and my social life became my focus rather than being irked about my mental issues.

I will not be using MDMA again. I am NOT anti MDMA at all. Rather I was ignorant about the HR rules and went through a shitty time. I want to document my experience as a way to provide information to the community as well as assist others.
 
are you still anxious? did your anxiety decrease at all?

would you say your anxiety levels are back to normal/before you took mdma, or at least close?

Just wondering because I am at 4.5 months and I think I can feel the DP/DR getting better, but I still feel a little anxious.
 
I had zero anxiety before and the general feeling of anxiousness left at about 5 months. I still dealt with the DP/DR, blurry vision, etc for months after the panic attacks and "anxiety" faded.

Becoming comfortable and accepting my dp/dr really was the key for me. DR sucks so much and once it didn't bother me, I ignored it and carried on. Then i realized that it was gone. I still get occasional tiny spells of DR but they only last a few minutes and do not bother me at all
 
Awesome. How have you handled things with family and school / work during those months?
 
pomz623 said:
Due to the fact I work with my father. I'm considering coming clean and hoping he would understand and help me figure out options. Opinions?
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I actually came clean on month two coz i just couldnt take the suffering anymore.. My dad is a really conservative and strict guy so it was really tough but it actually made our relationship much better after I have told him everything.. I hope you do the same.. The more family/friends support you get the better.. The first few months for me was extremely tough due to the panic attacks even at work but miraculously I was able to handle it and survive the toughest months.. Thank God for my dad's support.. I literally called him every single day of the second to third months and he supported me told me I gotta be a strong girl that I can survive this so here I am still survivin :)
 
pomz623 said:
Due to the fact I work with my father. I'm considering coming clean and hoping he would understand and help me figure out options. Opinions?
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I told my mother everything. She is Chinese and very anti-drugs, but like in Jonnavi's case, it has helped so much having someone on your side. The only people who will support you at times like these are your parents - especially see that you are remorseful about what has happened. All the friends I've talked to about this have either just said "well done for cleaning up" or have accused me of being a hypochondriac. Gotta love friends lol
 
Dawglaw said:
It was extremely gradual. I just realized that on that day I hadn't thought about DP DR or my comedown for a few days.

The last few months for me was about acceptance of my anxiety, reassurance that life goes on, and distracting myself so that work and my social life became my focus rather than being irked about my mental issues.

I will not be using MDMA again. I am NOT anti MDMA at all. Rather I was ignorant about the HR rules and went through a shitty time. I want to document my experience as a way to provide information to the community as well as assist others.
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This is good advice. The best thing you can do is distract yourself from how you feel, just pretend nothing happened. Eventually you realize you're better. The more you focus on analyzing "how you feel", the longer it's just going to take to feel better.

look at my screen name... I'm not fucking with anyone, I'm an e-tard. I'm not proud or anything, but I'm a pretty intelligent dude. My name was created out of irony, that I have abused MDMA but I'm not dumb or anything.

The healthier your lifestyle, the quicker you recover. sunlight, exercise, fish and veggies. carrots, beans, and kale greens
 
pomz623 said:
Due to the fact I work with my father. I'm considering coming clean and hoping he would understand and help me figure out options. Opinions?
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It was best for me to just come clean, it helps a lot being able to talk to someone anytime you need it, and it'll make it a lot easier. I told my mom about the 2nd or 3rd day, and every time I am getting really bad anxiety, panic attack, or just hopeless at least I know I have someone I can talk to that will always be there.
 
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