I'm going in the same direction; I'm banning myself from growing poppies ever again.
Recently I decided (on a whim) to see if I could grow (indoors) the leftover seeds from a batch of poppy seed tea. I had heard they were difficult to grow indoors, and that if they did grow they'd be small and low in opium content etc etc
But I guess negrogesic has a bit of a green thumb because I was able to turn those tiny blue seeds into giant bushes of opium poppies. I was expecting maybe a dozen pods but I ended up with well over 100. Not only that, due to the perfect conditions I was able to create indoors and the large amounts of nitrogen (dried pork blood) I fed them, the pods I grew are multiple times stronger than any pods I've bought in the past. The first batch of tea I made with these homegrown pods tasted so horrible I thought I was going to poison myself. But what was most concerning was how different it tasted from the pod tea I've made in the past (using dried pods I've bought online). While they shared the bitterness of the pods I've had in the past, there was this new intense spiciness that was almost unbearable, like drinking hot sauce. I thought I might wind up a victim of thebaine poisoning but forced myself to drink it. Within 30 minutes the fear of being poisoned left me and was replaced with a strong opium high that lasted a very long time.
But that tea was made with only 6-7 grams of dried pod material. Yet the effect it produced felt like something you'd get from 20-28g of the outdoor grown pods I used to buy online (which were good pods). The high from these are quite stimulating and manic, but also punctuated by periods of nodding. Eating seems to bring out the sedative quality. I had a larger dose two days ago, 10g made into a tea, and one minute I'm manic as hell, painting the fence, next minute im on the toilet and I've dropped my phone on the floor because I'm nodding off.
So while it was alot of fun growing these, I have also decided to Tali-ban myself from ever growing these again. This shit is way too addictive, and as a former junky, I don't like having a stash of narcotics. I always tend to keep a stash of a very wide variety of mind altering substance at all times, but the only class of drug that is always missing from that complex stash are opioids. And the reason is simple: if I have opioids around I'll find an excuse to take them.