Advice?

[Crystalline]

Ok. On Friday I did MDMA for the 3rd time in my life (~200 mg).
I'm now realising that until around half a year ago, I had almost no empathy whatsoever. I didn't miss people I called my friends when they went away, I never really trusted anyone with secrets and I had no real loyalties. I have no idea why that changed, but I am really scared of slipping back into it now, as being cold inside is probably my worst fear. I do not feel depressed, I'm just not feeling many connections anymore. What can I do blr's?

 

[Dave]

See a psychologist. If you actually feel absolutely no empathy whatsoever, you may actually have something serious going on. I know that when I started taking MDMA years upon years ago, I noticed a real increase in my awareness of empathy, although looking back I think that the sensitivity was always there, but just buried under layers of depression. Self-medication is never a good idea though, and I found that in time I was doing far more than I should have been, far too often, and have suffered the consequences.

But yeah, see a psychologist, or at least a therapist, as soon as you're able. I'd recommend against just talking to your MD or a psychiatrist at this point, as they tend to see the prescription pad as the main cure for stuff like that, which may not necessarily be the best way to go. In time it may be determined that medication is needed, but that's more of a last line of defence rather than the vanguard, IMO.

 

[n3ophy7e]

Crystalline, it's great that you're at least aware of your levels of empathy, as a lot of people are oblivious to that kind of thing.
Do you think that just being more aware of empathy, will enable you to be more empathetic? I believe that it is something that can be increased/tuned with practice and more awareness, so if you're worried about "losing" some of your empathy, try making more conscious effort to be empathetic

I would also recommend that you see a therapist/counsellor, it can't hurt

 

[tocooperate]

i dont know if its even possible to lack empathy for EVERYTHING. perhaps it's a matter of how you were subconsciously prioritizing your attention or emotions?

keep in mind, empathy and sympathy are very different things. you can *understand* how someone is feeling without actually *feeling* the same thing. as n3ophy7e said, awareness is a good thing

 

[Crystalline]

Thanks guys, I've realised now that I probably have some trust issues too... I only just rembered my dads period of alcoholism for much of my childhood- Running up the stairs crying etc. I'm pretty shocked that I never rembered before!