advice

[Madagent]

Hey im looking for some peoples point of view on drugs and life. Im 25 and have smoked weed for the past 6 or so years and have struggled with the fact that i couldnt quit, though i never tried that hard untill i did quit recently for a short period....But i was soo bored and went back to it, then started hitting the pharma harder than i ever did. I cant get much but when i can i will abuse dexamphetamine and use mild benzos to reduce the comedown, and have been using codeine more often recently using CWE or just popping the 30mg ones when i can get hold of them. Oxy is a rarity but is heavenly.

Realistically i have very low tolerance to opiates and benzos, and dex aint exactly meth but i do kind of feel myself going down a slippery slope using more and more. My question is, is life really as boring as it seems to be sober? Can i find the right combination of pharma to make me feel good all the time or am i kidding myself using uppers and downers to try and find a good state of mind?

One option is to go to a GP or physch and lay all my cards on the table. I probly do have ADD given my diagnosis as a child but my mother didnt want me on meds. I take codeine for pain releif too with two surgeries and a badback from doing manual labour before moving into my current career. I self medicate with pot and alchohol and sedatives and I seek euphoria from amphetamines becse im bored or depressed. I have friends/money/career but very low self worth and have often thought it wouldnt be too bad to have an accident, be prescribed opiates and play xbox till death even though there are so many suffering legitimatly on meds that would kill to be healthy again.

So is there more to life? Should i try and sober up again before i get dependant/addicted or is there good balance you can make using amps/opiates/benzos to minimise tolerance and improve your state of mind to enjoy life more?

 

[Chaos Butterfly]

shifting to The Dark Side from Anonymous posting.

 

[Havokk]

Hey Dude I know exactly what you mean I was asking my self the same questions a couple months back. I Was on the meth, benzos, weed, and pretty much anything with a high just because I found life boring and was depressed. I recently got some meds for my depression/anxiety so that part of my
Life is slowly fading and I'm more happy.

As for being bored, Yes there is much more to life than just drugs and getting high you just go to go out there to find and achieve them. Find your self a hobby I started Maui Thai and recently bought a a Dj set up which can keep me' entertained most the time. Otherwise a girlfriend or going to the pub with ya mates can always be a mood lifter. There's the whole world to see even if that tickles your fancy do some traveling.

Pretty much find yourself something other than drugs that makes you happy because in the long run the addiction just going to get worse which means more drugs/debt and mental problems trust me' bro. I say stay away from all the drugs get a hobby do some exercise, eat healthy find yaself a Girl and do some traveling. it's better than waking up dead or wasting your life away and realize your 40 and spent 15 years getting high when you could have travelled the world, own a boat and just get high of what life can offer.

Hope my advice helps bro cause I know it's hard but a clean life is always better than hitting rock bottom and being screwed for life.

 

[Madagent]

re: http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/showthread.php?t=526780

Hey Havokk, thanks much for the thoughts. Interesting that you did end up on meds for the depression before you were able to move past the drug abuse and get on with life again. I hear what you are saying about the exercise, travel, girl etc and I would have said the exact same thing a few years ago when I was a competitive sportsman and was able to be "high on life". Right now acheiving anything in life does not really do it for me and im always looking a high somewhere.

I have been beating myself up over using and not having the will to quit but the more I think about it, it seems likely there is something else going on and i am self medicating. My family has a history of mental health issues. Dad was an alco, mum had post natal, little bro has depression, grandparents alzeihmers etc etc.

I have been doing some reading on depression but last night i stumbled accross the symptoms for adult adhd and they fit like a glove. It is kind of an easy out though, to tell myself there _has_ to be something wrong because im so bored and depressed/melancholy all the time. That said, at my age, with my lifestyle, income etc etc there must be something wrong for me to not be enjoying life!

Im going to go to the doc and lay my cards on the table I think. Im worried about being totally honest though as he may take one look and decide im trying to score a script....which is not so far from the truth I suppose, but I really DO want a long term solution to this issue and to live a life free from drug abuse at the very least, if not drugs.