S.M.F.G
Bluelighter
I have been seeing a girlfriend for about 6 months and things moved quickly after 2 months she's wanting to get married, there is some good times but I am far from perfect with my drug use, she is prescribed 3 different benzos, Lyrica, Seroquel and about 3 other meds for seizures. Every time she gets her pile of pills it's automatically eat a bunch of everything gets all fucked up and orders me around with the biggest slur, can't even climb into bed she sits on the floor on the tilt. I really am trying my best to help her but sadly doesn't listen to my advice. Every pay day she's straight up asking for hundreds of dollars so she can get on the ice and as it stands now I'm feeling like I'm being used and abused there's aleready thrown plates and other things in anger, the Christmas tree was ruined and right I feel like I'm being used. First 2 months were good, but after that this slurred yelling and do this and do that sometime it's 3 tasks and I may be doing something but there's hell to pay if I don't immediately drop what I'm doing and run around doing as she wishes.il I fell asleep today after some Lyrica and a few drinks. I've woken up, The lounge room is all messed up, I've spent the last few hours being yelled at, being called a dog which is not a word that you say unless it's a actual scum bag. I'm being emotionally abused for having a nap in this instance, while she's had her handful of pills, she's now at the point where she just eats and sleeps unless she's on the ice and after when she's coming down I know that I had better watch out because an argument will start. Now I am a diplomatic kind of person I'm a bit of a psychonaut so when I am getting treated like shit and she wants to throw a fit I try to camly defuse the situation by saying that I don't want to argue and sometimes I just walk across the street to the river so there's no fighting, I do have a lot of love for her but she can't admit that she has a drug problem. I just don't know what to do I am very straight forward with my communication and have frequently accepted the fact that I have drug issues with pharma drugs I take LSD once or twice a month and DMT at least once every 6 months, I do this elsewhere because I don't want her to start and make my trip turn bad. I'd really like to hear about what you folks think about this situation because I am doing best to make her happy and look after her but as t it stands now I am feeling like I am in a toxic relationship and I don't know what to do or how I can get her to realise that she has drug issues and when she's messed up I just feel like a slave. I've met a few of her friends and all she does is bag me out and make me feel unhappy. Fellow bluelighters please give me your opinion as I have very few real friends and I'm at the edge of the cliff peace and love to all of you I am a being of light and I shine that light at people and it always seems to make a positive effect. Please help me out with your thoughts.