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Advice please, my first post

6am-64-14m said:
Hope this is helpful in your taper of diazepam
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Thanks for the info, I've heard of water titration method but I'm rubbish at maths and think I'd need a microgram scale, and the thought of making up a bottle and then drinking stagnant water makes me feel sick lol, but alcohol is a good idea, as long as I don't get drunk I'm a lightweight with drink, would cheap vodka work? I thought about crushing up all my valium I have 38 left and I don't want to buy more as want off ASAP, I could crush them all up and mix as a dry powder properly as they are not consistent, strong yes but some feel like 8-10mg and some feel loads more, if I crush them all, then each dose would be the same strengh and I can take less each time I taper down
 
lolis my thesis said:
I quit because I like to dream but if you don't maybe weed could help you?
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I used to be able to smoke weed when I was younger but as I've got older it makes my overthinking 1000x worse, it messes with my head, making me remember bad things that's happened to me or I worry about what could happen, so even though I love the taste and smell I just can't smoke it, I've tried CBD weed, it doesn't help, and tastes like burnt shit, not that I know what burnt shit tastes like lol, I've tried every CBD thing you can think of too

What you said about your son, it is such a worry, you'd of thought you worry less as they get older but no you worry so much more, my son doesn't drink often but I still worry, he smokes weed, but as he knows how bad my mental health and sleep is and it's what got me on the pills he has been put right off, I explained to him about how bad benzos and sleeping pills are and that they're addictive, he says if he can't sleep he powers through till he sleeps, I can't do that

He's not always on the evening shift, his work hours are different all the time, it's a new job so I'm not sure of his hours, I know sometimes 8am start, sometimes 4pm and like today he started at 6pm

Sorry to hear you also suffer from chronic pain, your doctor had you on lots of medication, I know my pains will get so much worse when I stop valium my whole body feels like it's crushing itself when I'm laying in bed if I'm off meds, I'm not prescribed anything for it as most doctors in the UK only prescribe antidepressants like amitriptyline, which I've tried a few times, it's another one causes bad nightmares, and such bad cotton mouth if I wasn't waking from a nightmare I'd wake 25-30 times for water
 
Snafu in the Void said:
wake up hungover and run 10km
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That can fuck right off, when I used to drink back when I was a club Dj and got paid in as many free drinks as I liked I couldn't get out of bed for half the day the day after just popping ibuprofen and paracetamol, I'm a headache wimp, I can't believe you run with a hangover that's crazy, good for you though, keep it up
 
Anxiety Girl said:
That can fuck right off, when I used to drink back when I was a club Dj and got paid in as many free drinks as I liked I couldn't get out of bed for half the day the day after just popping ibuprofen and paracetamol, I'm a headache wimp, I can't believe you run with a hangover that's crazy, good for you though, keep it up
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it forces blood into your brain, aerates and oxygenates your blood/organs, boots the toxins out of your system

it's the most effective hangover cure I know

but it is certainly masochistic :devilish:

once the adrenaline and endorphins hit, you'll forget you're hungover
 
Anxiety Girl said:
water titration method but I'm rubbish at maths and think I'd need a microgram scale,
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Water is a very poor medium for disovling benzos (iirc it may get 1mg/ml irdk).
Cheap vodka works. I Just put/dissolve 100mg bzd in a 100ml mini bottle of absolute.
Ya workin with 5mg tablets of diazepam (valium), right? Dont need a scale at all, imo.
 
6am-64-14m said:
Water is a very poor medium for disovling benzos
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I thought that too, it's not water soluble hence why there's no point snorting it so I couldn't understand why people use the water titration method, other than if they used a very fine powder and shook it loads before using it, that's why I didn't bother looking into this method more

I weighed a valium and its 0.20 each pill, obviously loads of filler and meant to be 10mg valium, the dose is different from pill to pill and blister pack to blister pack, so crushing all of them, then weighing 100mg I think needs to be done now I'm getting to a lower dose

I'm down to 10mg, I tried 7.5mg the other night it still caused bad nightmares so I'm going to try 5mg dosing and see how it goes, night before last 5mg was okay, still had bad dreams, just not quite as bad, but I know valium builds up in your system over time so I won't notice the drop strait away, it's a big cut compared to Ashton Manual but I shall try the vodka idea

Thankyou so much for explaining it more as I'm a bit of a durh brain, so then I buy a measuring syringe, how much of the 100mg valium in 100mg vodka do I take for 5mg? I can't work it out its gone 5am and I've not slept which don't help my brain work out the maths lol
 
Decided to do dry cuts, I've just crushed all my valiums up and mixed them together and as each one is roughly 0.20, some was 0.19, some 0.21 lol, but most 0.20, so based on filler I weighed dosages of 0.10, which will be consistent now I've mixed them all together as the pills are so inconsistently dosed, so even though the pills are the strongest valium I've had and I'm sure they're overdosed, now I have doses that are exactly the same strengh, and from that I can get a better taper
 
6am-64-14m said:
i see your point.
and scale would help
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My scale is the basic one you weigh up grams in, so they do weigh up like 0.10 but it won't be very accurate when I get low, maybe then I get to really low dose I'll put some alcohol

Thanks again for the advice, never knew about alcohol method before
 
6am-64-14m said:
was just wondering if there was a way to "filter" the buffer out
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Interesting, I always think what are the fillers, it's India, not regulated like UK etc, it could be anything, I'm sure certain pills I've took in the past made me feel odd, I'd send a sample to Wedinos and they'd come back as what they're meant to, it was if I was having a reaction to the filler

Then you get pills like carisoprodol, and the nitrazapam and they are huge, like fucking massive, why so big, the active ingredient can't be much lol but if you've seen the size of those pills they're hilarious, they must be mostly filler lol, and my overthinking is like what am I fucking taking now, what have I took for years along with the drugs
 
AbbeyLee said:
Just to be sure (with where I'm going with this) - you are a biological female?
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Yeah but it's not peri-menopause if you're thinking that as it's gone on for about 7 years and a couple of years ago I had a hormone test to check for that, maybe you wasn't asking for that reason lol, I'm not looking forward to it though, my nieghbours same age as me and going through it but I've read if you start periods late you have menopause late and she started her periods very early, I was anerexic and so underweight I didn't start till I was 16 so I'm hoping it's way off lol
 
Anxiety Girl said:
Yeah but it's not peri-menopause if you're thinking that as it's gone on for about 7 years and a couple of years ago I had a hormone test to check for that, maybe you wasn't asking for that reason lol, I'm not looking forward to it though, my nieghbours same age as me and going through it but I've read if you start periods late you have menopause late and she started her periods very early, I was anerexic and so underweight I didn't start till I was 16 so I'm hoping it's way off lol
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Oh ok, yeah I was :)

I've never slept well but it escalated to another level in my 40s. At 46 I was completely sober and doing absolutely everything to be healthy. But still, I would only sleep for 1.5 hours or 3 hours. It can't be just coincidence those are sleep cycles.

Mind you, my whole endocrine system is a disaster. Diabetes (needing insulin), hypothyroidism and god knows what the reproductive hormones are doing.

No period for a year now, but I've seen a gyno, an endocrinologist, multiple GPs and they won't even test me til no period for 1-2 years! I felt like yelling "do you think this happens overnight!?" They apparently can't test because the hormones are in flux.. Well ok but you can put a man on the moon 🙄

Anyway, have a read of this article. My pharmacist friend sent it to me - he's in London and the UK seems a bit more up-to-date medically. I read this about five times, crying every time..

www.nybooks.com

‘It Feels Like a Derangement’: Menopause, Depression, & Me | Rose George

I took my new boxes of patches, a pump gel of estrogen to top up with on the bad days, my precious testosterone, and went home with hope. It took months, but things stabilized. Now, there is never more than one bad day at a time of these “low moods.” The phrase is belittling. My depression is...
www.nybooks.com www.nybooks.com
 
AbbeyLee said:
I've never slept well but it escalated to another level in my 40s. At 46 I was completely sober and doing absolutely everything to be healthy. But still, I would only sleep for 1.5 hours or 3 hours. It can't be just coincidence those are sleep cycles
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Oh that's horrible, I know I'm worried about that and the hot flashes as I can't stand the heat, we're having a heatwave in the UK now and I hate it, I used to like the sun but it's getting to hot now, summers are hotter each year, add hot flashes to that and I think I'll go mad

You're right 1 and a half hours is a sleep cycle, so you're waking up after one or two sleep cycles

Insulin is like sugar ain't it won't that cause insomina and I just Googled hyperthyroidism and it causes anxiety, rapid heart rate, insomina and sometimes sleep walking, that was just a quick search, so yeah you're not going to be easy to tell what's going on

Weird you can't get tested untill no periods for 1-2 years, hormones in flux, they should check then, that's what hormone tests are for, my doctor checked as my periods went a bit weird for a bit but I've had lots of issues like pre cancerous cells and surgery to remove bits of my cervix a few times so maybe she tested me as I have issues and she knows I worry

I'll read that link thanks, and kick your doctor up the ass, or get a second opinion, see if you can get another doctor to test, it's a simple test done at the doctors, not a big one where you go to hospital, takes seconds
 
Anxiety Girl said:
Insulin is like sugar ain't it won't that cause insomina and I just Googled hyperthyroidism and it causes anxiety, rapid heart rate, insomina and sometimes sleep walking, that was just a quick search, so yeah you're not going to be easy to tell what's going on
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Yeah and people wonder why I'm always awake. It's not the meth, trust me. That just makes being awake more tolerable and doesn't mess with my digestive system or give me hangovers.


Anxiety Girl said:
and the hot flashes
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They need to change the language.. "Volcanic eruptions" is more appropriate.

Get yourself a wardrobe with about ten layers you can easily take on and off. The worst is going to the shops and you're ok outside but you walk into a store and it's like a f'in furnace. I was at the chemist getting a script recently and they said it'd be about 10 mins. Well I had to go outside because I thought if I stay in here any longer I'm going to pass out!
 
You seem pretty insightful person who does hard work. I am sorry you struggle, you'd deserve better.

How was long-term mirtazapine and getting off? I've had some sleeping binges with it when there has been changes in my sleep medication. Max. 10 days 30 mg, felt foggy for week after (helluva half-life). Can't remember shit.
 
Yeah I think there's an anti-depressant which is supposedly good for suppressing dreams, but it might be a trial-and-error thing cos sleep and dreams are so poorly understood.

Lyrica helped me stay asleep sometimes. I don't like the effect before I go to sleep though.
 
ftr
i think ya can get up to 4mg/ml in %40 alcohol... Maybe 8 or 9 mg/ml in everclear or 190 proof. @Keif' Richards ?
kinda hate the thought that maybe some "cut" wont dissolve completely when the "diazepam" is solved, ya know?
man damn a bunch of cut how can we separate the diazepam from filler....?
best
 
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