Hey, hope everyone is keeping well. I was just hoping for some advice.
I've been using heroin (IV) for about the last 8 months, and oxys and codeine before that. I realised I had a problem around the start of the year, and since then have managed to bring my habit down from 3 or 4 shots a day to maybe two or three days a fortnight. I find the most I can go through is about two weeks before the cravings start to really get on top of me and I end up using.
I guess my goal was to just keep trying to stop using, get a job, keep busy, keep seeing my psychologist, and see if I could extend that two weeks to three, than a month, and so on. But I'm in a bad place now cos I used again late last week and I'm lucky to still be here. I shot as per usual, didn't think I used that much, and my partner told me I was out within a few minutes. I was just super lucky my partner was able to administer the narcan, and gave me CPR for about ten minutes cos I stopped responding and wasn't breathing. I came too just as the paramedics and cops were coming into my room. It was like flicking a switch, one minute I was shooting up, the next I was almost dead. Hectic. The cops said they had been a spike in overdoses in Sydney recently, probably due to a massive heroin shortage due to Covid leading dealers to cut their supply with all sorts of other shit. In general heroin in Australia has avoided the fent problem elsewhere, not saying this was cut with fent, but possibly something else.
I feel especially bad for my partner. I can't imagine how traumatic and horrific saving your girlfriend from an OD would feel. When were in bed together a few days later my partner said all they could see when they closed their eyes was trying to pump my lifeless body full of oxygen desperately waiting for the paramedics to arrive. I'm so in love, and I know if I keep using I'll lose this relationship that's so wonderful and supportive, and fair enough too I think.
I think despite this being a big wake up call, I'm worried that whatever I'm doing hasn't been enough and I'm worried in another couple of weeks I'll start getting intense cravings again, and risk relapsing. A few people have suggested I go on methadone or bupe, I thought about it earlier this year but really wanted to try and kick heroin without it. I had read some stories from people who had gone on methadone or bupe after less than a year's use (like me) and now really regret it because they're both strong opioids and they're hard to get off.
I was just wondering if anyone had any advice or even a bit of support? I feel like shit and a total idiot for what I've done, obviously I didn't mean to OD but I feel so so guilty for the trauma I've left on the people that love me. I feel like a ghost at the moment, I've cheated death and been given a second chance and I need to make the most of it. I feel the best way I can make it up to them is by never doing it again, which would mean really kicking heroin. I'm seeing a doctor tomorrow about it, and I'm pretty scared to be honest. Any suggestions greatly appreciated, thanks heaps everyone
I've been using heroin (IV) for about the last 8 months, and oxys and codeine before that. I realised I had a problem around the start of the year, and since then have managed to bring my habit down from 3 or 4 shots a day to maybe two or three days a fortnight. I find the most I can go through is about two weeks before the cravings start to really get on top of me and I end up using.
I guess my goal was to just keep trying to stop using, get a job, keep busy, keep seeing my psychologist, and see if I could extend that two weeks to three, than a month, and so on. But I'm in a bad place now cos I used again late last week and I'm lucky to still be here. I shot as per usual, didn't think I used that much, and my partner told me I was out within a few minutes. I was just super lucky my partner was able to administer the narcan, and gave me CPR for about ten minutes cos I stopped responding and wasn't breathing. I came too just as the paramedics and cops were coming into my room. It was like flicking a switch, one minute I was shooting up, the next I was almost dead. Hectic. The cops said they had been a spike in overdoses in Sydney recently, probably due to a massive heroin shortage due to Covid leading dealers to cut their supply with all sorts of other shit. In general heroin in Australia has avoided the fent problem elsewhere, not saying this was cut with fent, but possibly something else.
I feel especially bad for my partner. I can't imagine how traumatic and horrific saving your girlfriend from an OD would feel. When were in bed together a few days later my partner said all they could see when they closed their eyes was trying to pump my lifeless body full of oxygen desperately waiting for the paramedics to arrive. I'm so in love, and I know if I keep using I'll lose this relationship that's so wonderful and supportive, and fair enough too I think.
I think despite this being a big wake up call, I'm worried that whatever I'm doing hasn't been enough and I'm worried in another couple of weeks I'll start getting intense cravings again, and risk relapsing. A few people have suggested I go on methadone or bupe, I thought about it earlier this year but really wanted to try and kick heroin without it. I had read some stories from people who had gone on methadone or bupe after less than a year's use (like me) and now really regret it because they're both strong opioids and they're hard to get off.
I was just wondering if anyone had any advice or even a bit of support? I feel like shit and a total idiot for what I've done, obviously I didn't mean to OD but I feel so so guilty for the trauma I've left on the people that love me. I feel like a ghost at the moment, I've cheated death and been given a second chance and I need to make the most of it. I feel the best way I can make it up to them is by never doing it again, which would mean really kicking heroin. I'm seeing a doctor tomorrow about it, and I'm pretty scared to be honest. Any suggestions greatly appreciated, thanks heaps everyone