Advice on continuing my sobriety

[ChasinDaDragon]

Hey guys, relatively new to the forums. Been clean 13 days off of smoking heroin. I'm currently on an extended vacation to Jacksonville as I know I can't score down here and the beach is very peaceful. I don't mean to seem pathetic but I was hoping for some encouragement on here about helping me stay clean. I am terrified that when I move back to Cincinnati I will cave "one" time and the rest will be history.

i am obviously over W/D at this point but in PAWS. I was using 3 bags a day for about a year of varying quality diesel. I'm having the mental struggles about not using anymore and the devil on my shoulder keeps whispering one more time won't hurt but I know it will. I even thought about driving over to the methadone clinic to find a dealer down here!

Trying to think of all the bad things H has done to me. Loss of money, lost my beautiful gf, had to go 6 years at university of Kentucky, loss of emotions and meaningful relationships. You'd think this would be enough to dissuade me but at times I have those dark thoughts. Is this feeling for life or does it get better?

 

[phactor]

Think about moving into a sober living facility or treatment facility. My girl is from Ohio and I know how much dope is around there.

Recovery is a life long process IMO, for me at least it takes a commitment. Just not wanting to use isn't enough for me, I have to actively work a program of recovery in order to stay clean. Go to some meetings at the very least.

 

[ChasinDaDragon]

Thanks for the reply. I honestly think that would be in my best interest. I've heard NA meetings can be extremely helpful. Even just reading some of the threads here are helpful.

 

[Ruby Slippers]

You are doing great! After l quit doing heroin l relapsed constantly until l got on suboxone. I don't even think about it today, l remember thinking l wouldn't be able to do it. Don't give up just find what works for you.

 

[AlphaMethylPhenyl]

It does get easier. It does. But it may take some time. Opiate Replacement Therapy is needed for some people to stay clean.

 

[ChasinDaDragon]

It does seem to get easier every day I abstain. I'm worried about getting on hype or methadone at this juncture since the worst is over. If I relapse again I'll definitely have to though

 

[herbavore]

I'm happy it is going well for you. What are you doing for yourself besides all the hard work you are putting into your recovery? If you can start doing some things that you know will be satisfying to you, it will really help you to eliminate the reasons that may call you to relapse. (I'm wondering about things like exercise or yoga--something mind/body, or even volunteering at something you care about to hook you up with new people and give something to your community or even travel....)

 

[GlennS1956]

I'm getting ready to celebrate 2 years clean. Service work helps me a lot. I know I'm supposed to work my program for me, but now when I think of using, the first thought that comes to my mind is "I can't do this shit. Those patients at the psyche hospital need me". That may not be fully NA approved, but I want to keep that thought there. It's working for me.

Another non-NA approved thing I'll say is the NA and the Basic Text is not enough to keep me clean. I need to spend time and mental energy on other things, too. Like riding my motorcycle and paddling my canoes and making things out of wood. I saturated myself in NA after I got clean the first time. I stayed clean for over 12 years. But in the end I got so sick of hearing "Keep coming back" that I was ready to punch the next person that said it to me in the mouth. I didn't quit going because I became complacent. I stopped going because I saturated myself with it so much that it started driving me crazy, like water dripping onto my forehead.

Exactly what people told me would happen, happened. I relapsed, and I stayed in active addiction for ten years before I found my way back to the rooms. I'm saturating myself in my recovery again, but this time when feelings of burnout arrive, I'm going to heed them and cut down on my meetings and build a cabinet or something instead.