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ADHD and Addiction

SehrBuenoKnop

SehrBuenoKnop

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 26, 2010
Messages
55
I am a recovering heroin addict. I view addiction as a symptom of untreated ADHD. I finally got on the right meds and I have almost 16 months clean. I have had a hard time finding people in NA who have a similar situation as me. A lot of people say, "Ya I got ADHD too" or "I think I have that." But if I ask any question with real substance, the conversation falls flat. So I decided to turn here.

When my meds are in effect, I have no desire to use. Its in those early hours or late at night when my meds have worn off that my judgement can become distorted.

I take 60mg of Vyvanse and 10mg of Adderall when the Vyvanse wears off. If I am eating and sleeping right, its like waking up all over again. I get a shit ton of energy, impulsive, distorted forethought, and even more vulgar to name a few. When I reach the level of "fuck it," thats when I know I am treading in dark water. I am slowly reaching that point.

Routine and my meds are what keep me clean. Recently my routine has gotten fucked up. I got fired from my job after about 9 months of being there for swearing. The gym I was going to closed and there are not really within walking distance. I have a painting gig doing prep work now but its not really working out. I was working around 60+ hours before I got fired. Now I work around 40. I am not working out anymore. Thus, I have this void of time. I play a lot of video games since it was my first addiction. But I am growing bored of them.

Boredom and loneliness are my 2 biggest triggers. I am trying to be proactive of my situation and get different perspectives. I am seeing if anyone has been through a similar situation.

tl;dr - What do you do to stay clean if you have ADHD and addiction? What is your routine? Do you take any meds?
 
Addiction is a disease in itself to be quite honest. I also have ADHD, and have been diagnosed with both tendencies (inattentiveness and hyperactivity) many years ago.

I'm staying active in life, reading, writing, going hiking, going camping, and doing what I can to have an enjoyable life. What are your interests/hobbies? I do take cannabis/shatter regularly, that is all now.
 
Working out, ping pong, volleyball, biking, tennis, frisbee, racquetball, video games, anything competitive and stimulating. But it has been hard to do any of that recently. I havent played any sports I enjoyed ins while due to my living situation. I am trying to redefine my hobbies right now, my job, where I am living. There is a lot of unknown.
 
Where do you live? In North America, it's summer, and I couldn't imagine not doing all those things. I especially also like tennis and video games, as well as working out. %)

Do you like to read? Are you creative at all? I found being a creative individual was a huge part of my recovery. I'm a writer and I am working on a novel, and have also made a lot of noise music.

About two years ago I read War and Peace in roughly 3 weeks. I've enjoyed reading many books over these last few years. It's definitely a worthwhile venture.
 
PA in USA. I like to do things that are challenging and interesting. I dont really find reading books fun or stimulating. It is hard finding people that actually want to do something. Let alone be able to get schedules to match.
 
SehrBuenoKnop said:
I am a recovering heroin addict. I view addiction as a symptom of untreated ADHD. I finally got on the right meds and I have almost 16 months clean. I have had a hard time finding people in NA who have a similar situation as me. A lot of people say, "Ya I got ADHD too" or "I think I have that." But if I ask any question with real substance, the conversation falls flat. So I decided to turn here.

.....

tl;dr - What do you do to stay clean if you have ADHD and addiction? What is your routine? Do you take any meds?
Click to expand...

Addiction and ADHD certainly go hand to hand in my opinion too, but I wouldn't go as far as to say that addiction is a symptom of untreated ADHD. I don't mean to say it's wrong to think about it like that, but plenty of things can lead to addiction and ADHD doesn't always lead to addiction. It all boils down to a region of brain called the prefrontal cortex (really interesting read in wikipedia for example if you're not too familiar but potentially interested), which is disrupted in ADHD and plays a major role in addiction. It also plays an important role in for example schizophrenia, which is also often associated with addiction. This region has very heavy influence on behavior, emotions, impulse control, executive function, motivation, attention and concentration, short-term memory for example. Sort of like a pilot of the brain.

If this area of brain is 'malfunctioning' (I can't say I believe there is only one correct way for a brain to function, but I mean that it causes problems in your day to day life) in the form of, let's say underactivity, you will usually have a hard time acting organized, changing your thought patterns, resisting impulsive behavior, finding motivation to do stuff especially for the longer term and so on. This can easily lead to depression too for example. I think it's easy to imagine how a person like this is more likely to end up dealing with one form of addiction or another, having problems changing their behavior. Especially when you consider that many drugs either compensate for this under-activity (stimulants) or make it more bearable (some depressants).

I am like you, routines are my cornerstone but I couldn't achieve them without ADHD medication. Video games were my first addiction too, but after a two decades they do lose a lot their magic indeed. For me they eradicate both boredom and loneliness, because I always preferred multiplayer games that had online societies where you could have social interaction almost completely on your own terms and it is considered pretty much normal too. Recently I've created a routine around school, which is a project I've never really managed to complete in my life and I'm determined to get formal education. I have loads of informal education, and taught myself many things. It's just that our society really does seem to value arbitrary pieces of paper printed out by someone with credentials instead of actual capability a bit too much I guess. Just look at politicians for example lol. "Nice, you have a PHD, welcome to management" then they can screw around all they want with near impunity for fucking up, until someone realizes that their degree is based on plagiarized stuff and suddenly now they are incompetent and thus exiled.

Enter summer vacation, exit functional routine. Didn't turn to drugs though, because I had the sense not to ruin what comes after vacation, but decided to temporarily give games a shot after a long break. It was rather refreshing actually, and in a weird way therapeutic to my brain because I had to not only learn new stuff, but use this newly learned stuff efficiently and in a creative manner to be competitive. The benefits translate to other areas of life too, I simply feel sharper in my head.
 
FnX said:
Addiction and ADHD certainly go hand to hand in my opinion too, but I wouldn't go as far as to say that addiction is a symptom of untreated ADHD. I don't mean to say it's wrong to think about it like that, but plenty of things can lead to addiction and ADHD doesn't always lead to addiction. It all boils down to a region of brain called the prefrontal cortex (really interesting read in wikipedia for example if you're not too familiar but potentially interested), which is disrupted in ADHD and plays a major role in addiction. It also plays an important role in for example schizophrenia, which is also often associated with addiction. This region has very heavy influence on behavior, emotions, impulse control, executive function, motivation, attention and concentration, short-term memory for example. Sort of like a pilot of the brain.

If this area of brain is 'malfunctioning' (I can't say I believe there is only one correct way for a brain to function, but I mean that it causes problems in your day to day life) in the form of, let's say underactivity, you will usually have a hard time acting organized, changing your thought patterns, resisting impulsive behavior, finding motivation to do stuff especially for the longer term and so on. This can easily lead to depression too for example. I think it's easy to imagine how a person like this is more likely to end up dealing with one form of addiction or another, having problems changing their behavior. Especially when you consider that many drugs either compensate for this under-activity (stimulants) or make it more bearable (some depressants).
Click to expand...

When I say "addiction is a symptom of untreated ADHD," I am talking about in my case. That is the way I view it for me.

I read https://www.amazon.com/Healing-ADD-Revised-Breakthrough-Program/dp/0425269973 when I was in jail. Or at least the pages that werent torn out in 24 hours since I had nothing better to do. And a lot of things in there clicked for me as compared to say the Basic Text of NA. Certainly things like the mind games I like to play on people. To get that slight rush. Or how I used to get adrenaline rushes from video games when I was in my teens. I do get them from time to time still, but only when it is a clutch situation. Say a 1v4 in an FPS game. I would get them as well in ping pong when I am mounting a comeback. The same goes with volleyball.

Does anyone have any good reads for ADHD? That is something that I would actually be able to read.
 
My girlfriend has ADD or ADHD. She me be able to add to the conversation something I cannot.

I do have to say that any mental disorder if untreated will lead a person with addictive tendencies to self medicate.

I have anxiety based disorders. When I am not working hard to stifle thoughts or fill my time the idea of using isn't to far from my mind.
 
From my personal experience, since I was a kid I'm certain I had ADHD, and/or bipolar, plus addiction. I can't say for certain as I never saw a doctor and got diagnosed. Now at thirty seven I've recently been diagnosed as bipolar with a possible ADHD. What I do know is I smoked started smoking weed in high school and it solved a lot of my problems. Then my addictive personality took smoking weed down a dark path that led to experimenting and abusing other drugs. I went down the road of bad addictions and self medicating to deal with my problems.

Hopefully this adds something to the conversation.
 
Weed was my first constant. I then loved trying other drugs because there is nothing else like it on earth. You may or may not have an idea of what xyz will do to you, but it will be fun. The thrill of the chase I guess.

I ran out of my Vyvanse today. My script was dated forth 4th so I knew that was going to be a crap shoot. I just got new insurance but no card. And pharmacies around here were out of it. But I managed to get my Vyvanse filled but not the Adderall since it need a prior auth from my doctor.... Always a pain in the dick. Thankfully, I have adderall on deck for situations like this. I just took a 20/10/10 to get me through the day.

I know once my meds wear off and I get bored, my brain instantly says, "well we can make this go away." It is the constant battle to escape those thoughts. If I am having a bad day and that shit were to happen, it would be a real test.

I started feeding into my addiction ie checking out pills on the darknet. Sure, I am good on dope. But doing an opana would be sweet and all bad at the same time....
 
Do you have any strategies to help deal with your challenges that involve more than taking medication?

I do not in any way mean to belittle the huge important of being properly medicated, that is a must. I only ask because, in the worse case scenario, when you don't have access to your meds, whatcha gonna do? Relapsing is always an option, but there are other, more skillful ways of dealing with crisis than reverting to harmful patterns of old behavior, comfortable you may be with them.
 
Medication is only one aspect of getting your mental health in order.

It is very true that in the bullshit consumer world we live in these days existential turmoil will cause all kinds of ways for our brains to act out against us. Me, I have to always be wary of what degree of thought I am putting into something. I have always been a deep thinker, but in this modern world , thinking deeply will only cause heartache.
 
I apparently have ADD, and I'm an addict. I do not take any Dexedrine or Adderall anymore and have not for over a decade, as I worry about abusing them or becoming addicted to them. If I ever go on medication again I may go on methylphenidate again as that medication worked the best for me.

It's not fun having ADD but I find that time management, and even making a list of daily goals or things to do and completing each task before I move onto the next one helps me a lot. YMMV.
 
toothpastedog said:
Do you have any strategies to help deal with your challenges that involve more than taking medication?

I do not in any way mean to belittle the huge important of being properly medicated, that is a must. I only ask because, in the worse case scenario, when you don't have access to your meds, whatcha gonna do? Relapsing is always an option, but there are other, more skillful ways of dealing with crisis than reverting to harmful patterns of old behavior, comfortable you may be with them.
Click to expand...

A lot of it comes down to routine/structure. And then I always have the support of the people in the program. I have been trying to figure out if I am going to move to NC or not. I have been looking for a new job. And to fill the void most of the time, video games. Some meetings here and there. But mostly video games.
 
Do you guys struggle with doing something unless you find it interesting/fascinating? I play a lot of CSGO. I can be completely bored the entire time and play shitty. Or I can be completely engulfed in hyperfocus where everything comes clicks and comes easy. I think quicker, aim better, play better, etc. It has kind of been like this my whole life.

I will play something to the point where I am bored. Then I lose interest and play like shit.
 
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