Hi i am new to this forum even though I've seen a lot of it over the years being a drug dependant person. I live in Australia I have had a long addiction history. I have also been in recovery in NA as well, so have had years off too. I however have reached this defeated state over everything. I have spent the last two years trying to get well again, this time its been mainly codeine and some heroin. Previous to this I was a heroin addict, I tried NA again which always worked however I got invovled with a guy in NA whom was very abusive and he was 8 years clean and I was still sturuggling to get any time up at all. He was very abusive, and where I live there are only two meetings a day, I went to rehab for the hundreth time and walked out using a month and a half ago. I then went on a small amount of soboxone and I was doing meetings, by the way the only support I had. And my ex relapses and starts going to all the meetings. I could not bring myself to keep going, its just all too traumatic. I have pretty much lost everything in the last two years, I mean everything. I also went through major trauma, violence, stalking and assaults all in narcotics anonymous. I am so broken I have nothing to look forward to. I am not using besides a couple of slips, I have no one to support me, I am stuck on suboxone cause I am going to need a suppprt plan. I spend at least one day a week completely suicidal and the thought of an over dose delberate is really sounding appealing. I am serious I can do it any more, I just want some relief !!
-
NMI Moderators: M!$TER-ED
Addition opiates
- Thread starter Sonny2106
- Start date
Smoky
Bluelight Crew
Hi, Welcome to Bluelight!
I am so sorry to hear of this experience in the rooms. There are predators out there, clean or not. It happens, and it's not ok especially if you have trauma involved past, or present. Have you tried any other type of meetings besides 12 Step? Or, how far away would it be for you to get to some meetings where you won't be subjected to this person. Are there any non co-ed meetings available?
Congrats on choosing to get onto Suboxone! Please don't hesitate to ask me any questions. Do you mind if I move your thread to a move supportive forum?
Also, if you have a chance check out the The Suicide Support Thread. You're not alone. I'm off Heroin myself, it's been a long journey… still moving forward.